SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! THE REASON THE GARDENER IS IN A BLOODY WAR IN THE FIRST PLACE IS BECAUSE THE WARRIOR'S ARMY IS PILLAGING THEIR GARDEN!!!!

matt-jokerfied

    • SuperNovaCouchGuy2 [any]
      hexagon
      ·
      10 months ago

      But you see, its more honorable to drown in mud because piggy doesn't have to worry about class struggle that way.

    • Adkml [he/him]
      ·
      10 months ago

      Yea it's a dumb line it's also better to be a warrior in the garden than a warrior in war.

      Being in war sucks, being in the garden is cool and good.

  • john_browns_beard [he/him, comrade/them]
    ·
    10 months ago

    That episode really resonated with me as a gardener, the whole "male oafishness" description was extremely accurate and it's a very well-documented occurrence in the gardening community. If you have a garden you are basically rolling the dice anytime you have a non-gardener mow your lawn, most lawncare businesses are run by guys who will weed whack your entire garden without a second thought unless you explicitly tell them not to.

    There is a small island in the middle of our street (owned by the city) that we recently removed all of the grass on and planted native wildflower seeds in two 8 x 30 foot-ish areas after discussion with our neighbors to make sure they were cool with it. Someone who we could not identify, but believe was another neighbor from down the street's large adult son, randomly walked up the street and weed whacked it in the middle of the work day, so we put up two "WILDFLOWERS, DO NOT MOW" signs right in the middle of the two patches that would be impossible to miss if your were whacking them. He did it two more times until we put up four more signs and he finally stopped. I don't think it was necessarily malicious, the guy is just an oaf.

    • ClimateChangeAnxiety [he/him, they/them]
      ·
      10 months ago

      It makes me have such mixed feelings about the guys my apartment hires, because on the one hand I know that lawn care employees are overworked, underpaid, and heavily exploited, and I feel bad for them.

      But on the other hand they find every single plant in any tiny nook in the complex that isn’t just grass and fucking destroy it, and I fucking hate them and wish their jobs didn’t exist. I planted a little rose bush in an out of the way nook after it outgrew it’s pot, within 48 hours they chopped it the fuck down. Wildflowers? Death.

      How can you work with plants all day and seemingly have nothing but hatred for them as a life form

      • john_browns_beard [he/him, comrade/them]
        ·
        10 months ago

        How can you work with plants all day and seemingly have nothing but hatred for them as a life form

        Lawncare is just a completely different animal from gardening. It's quantity VS quality, very little attention to detail and much more formulaic. Weeds are bad. Grass is good. Grass turn brown, add water. Grass get tall, cut it. Fertilize grass every X weeks. If there's dirt, add grass seed.

        • ClimateChangeAnxiety [he/him, they/them]
          ·
          10 months ago

          For sure, I was comparing it more to my experience doing farm work when I worked in an agriculture lab.

          In the middle of a day of measuring leaves and bagging silks, the time we found watermelons growing in the field we didn’t go “destroy them and move on” we paused and admired

          • 420blazeit69 [he/him]
            ·
            10 months ago

            In the middle of a day of measuring leaves and bagging silks

            corn-man-khrush CORN ALERT, CORN ALERT corn-man-khrush

    • PKMKII [none/use name]
      ·
      edit-2
      10 months ago

      Hell, my sage plant just got squished by some utility workers who came into my backyard to cut down an old utility pole (which wasn’t even in my backyard, it was just the easiest spot for them to reach it).

    • SpiderFarmer [he/him]
      ·
      10 months ago

      My natural weed border of chives got killed off by a lawncare company and even more aggressive weeds just took that opportunity to take over the whole raised bed. I felt seen in this episode.

        • SpiderFarmer [he/him]
          ·
          10 months ago

          I used to go to my dad's to garden, but that time spent driving after work and doing a rush-job got too exhausting. Unfortunately windowsill plants aren't allowed and my cat tree tries to kill every living thing in the house, plants included. So these days I just sigh and lament.

          • Egon [they/them]
            ·
            10 months ago

            I'm sorry to hear that! I hope it turns around somehow

  • SpiderFarmer [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    10 months ago

    As a male gardener who's poor and living the apartment life rn, I seethe a bit seeing how many rich chuds just curate their lawns. That should be an orchard or at the very least a prairie, dammit. I got some actual survival skills, but they mean about jack when I'm surrounded by concrete. /rant over

    • Crucible [he/him]
      ·
      10 months ago

      I have a neighbour who astroturfed their entire front lawn and it drives me insane. The amount of space and resources wasted on lawns is bad enough, leave it to this timeline to find a way to make it even worse smothering the ground with rubber and green plastic.

        • nohaybanda [he/him]
          ·
          10 months ago

          This shit barely makes sense in the English countryside. Mayos trying to pull it off in desert climates is monstrously stupid

  • ReadFanon [any, any]
    ·
    edit-2
    10 months ago

    What's that warrior going to eat when the war reaches all the gardens and all the gardeners have gone to war?

    I salute our gardeners.

    TYFYS o7

    • JuneFall [none/use name]
      ·
      10 months ago

      Peasants are gardeners and fought and won wars. Florian Geyer and alike are a famous pop cultural icon.

  • Dolores [love/loves]
    ·
    10 months ago

    MASSIVE cope from soldiers and cops once they start masturbating about how they're "warriors" and ad-libbing remote memories of romantic chivalry as self-aggrandising fantasy frothingfash

    soldiers aren't warriors. they don't follow an honorable code, do what they want--they follow orders. they don't succeed through their individual heroism and martial skill, they are miniscule cogs in a war machine.

    you know who is a warrior? a Taliban guerilla, taking up arms of their own accord, going unpaid, organizing autonomously, and dis-arming as it suits them. even a communist guerilla--though a military discipline is emphasized among them--has more in common with a warrior philosophy than these feckless cowards in the US military

    • Grimble [he/him,they/them]
      ·
      edit-2
      10 months ago

      Honestly yeah, guerillas are actually forced to take up that hyper-perceptive professional attitude for their survival, meanwhile US Army groundlings need to sit behind giant hesco walls and joystick maneuver a dirty bomb strapped to an AC130 into a house on a mountainside because they think it might be a sniper's outpost.

      They couldn't possibly rally up enough courage to win a war in their own backyard, because where would they dream of going home to every waking moment? They don't learn to accept struggle, just to dissociate and let machines carry them. The USA is anti-nature and anti-reality, basically.

    • infuziSporg [e/em/eir]
      ·
      10 months ago

      going unpaid, organizing autonomously

      wait a minute i thought the only thing that can stop a bad guy with a state is a good guy with a state

  • JohnBrownsBussy2 [he/him]
    ·
    10 months ago

    I assumed this quote was invented by the columnist in question, but I looked it up and since it's repeatedly attributed as a "Chinese proverb" or to Sun Tzu (I checked, not there) or Lao Tzu or Miyamoto Musashi, I'm pretty sure some other random white person made it up.

    • Crucible [he/him]
      ·
      10 months ago

      It stands out to me as a very modern idea- for the entirety of feudalism every man levied to an army was some kind of gardener/farmer to the point that the length of a campaign was usually defined by when the soldiers had to get back to harvest their crops

      • Dolores [love/loves]
        ·
        10 months ago

        feudalism produces groups of people who have bound others to property to do that farming while they are on campaign, that's what knights were. a modern levee en masse is much more disruptive to agricultural production, because it doesn't tap classes who are already expected to go on a campaign. one shouldn't even assume because a certain peasant area was required to produce so many levy soldiers that this would be an excessive draw on the labor pool either--it bad times it might've, but in others a handful of third sons weren't exactly missed, and those men entering armed life was expected and prepared for in advance.

    • Adkml [he/him]
      ·
      10 months ago

      It deffinitly seems like something you think sun tzu would say if you've never read sun tzu.

      • GriffithDidNothingWrong [comrade/them]
        ·
        10 months ago

        I like Sun Tzu. Its a lot of don't fight unless you can win. The way you win is forcing your enemy to fight where they're outnumbered.

    • ChaosMaterialist [he/him]
      ·
      10 months ago

      It sounds exactly like the kind of "Confucius Say" jokes but without a punchline.

  • mayo_cider [he/him]
    ·
    10 months ago

    People who talk this shit are not, have never been and never will be either of those