It's really the smallest thing, like, if anything you could make the argument its too symbolic; but overall it's just helpful. Considering we have a lot of trans users, I imagine (as a c*s male) that having people, even online, refer to you by your proper pronouns could really make you feel good. We aren't a fucking Nazi website ffs, we have a lot of trans comrades and it's both helpful and (in my cis opinion) probably good to have a community that supports you (trans people) by mandating pronoun usage. It might seem small, but to the stupidpol types i ask you this - imagine you live in some Southern hellhole, and no one in your family or school uses your prefered pronouns. Now imagine you find a space like this - it's probably going to make you feel just a tiny bit better about yourself at least, even if it's just strangers online - at least it's something, y'know?
Love to all my trans comrades
There's studies that show that using people's chosen names/pronouns decreases depression and suicidal thoughts in trans people, that's enough for me to do it.
Tbh as a cis woman I'm really happy about the mandatory pronouns too. Tons of people online stick to the generic "he" when talking about a user. It was always annoying when people on the old sub said something like "He has a point" or whatever. Each time I'd struggle between not wanting to make a big deal out of it by correcting them, but also wanting to push back against the idea that it's only brocialists on r/CTH. Plus it's cool to scroll down and see she/her and realise you're not the only woman commenting, particularly when there's something about sexism or feminism. It's made me less hesitant to push back against some stuff.
It took me a while to realise that cis people were using the anonymous they and it wasn't that this website was full of NB people
I mean tbh we do probably have a high amount of nb people per capita
Non-binary was actually the second most common gender identity last time we did a poll - something like 11% of the site after 66% cis male.
it ruined the premise of this account now people know im not really kamala harris
it's actually done a lot to affect how people relate to each other here. there's a lot less masculinity being flung around here than on the old sub. it's still not great but it's better than it used to be.
it's good for all of us, not purely for us transes.
Also makes me realise that there really are a lot of women posters. I do genuinely just assume that the poster is dude most of them time unless they mention something very specifically feminine.
Kinda bad but years of doing it on the internet has burned it into my brain. So yeah, just seeing a pronoun breakdown is interesting enough.
yea, I had the same realization after the pronoun tags were first turned on. I'd always thought this was a more dude heavy space, just given how people behave and interact.
It is still pretty dude heavy though lol
Though looking at the gender breakdowns on some of the larger Reddit subs do reinforce why it's so normal to just assume it's a dude talking to you.
It's literally almost all cis white males who's favourite film is Empire Strikes Back.
yes, yes it is. but 70-30 is very dude heavy but not quite enough to assume everyone you're talking to is a dude. the assumption has the consequence that women, femmes, and enbies, don't feel comfortable speaking up unless they're comfortable with people assuming they're men. even a lot of cis women aren't comfortable with that. remember when reddit used to whine that women would disclose their gender in posts "for attention"?
And then that reinforces it further. Non-dudes leave because they're sick of the environment and then it becomes more and more dude heavy.
Neil Gaiman wrote this years ago, and it's something I try to remember when these conversations come up:
"I was reading a book (about interjections, oddly enough) yesterday which included the phrase “In these days of political correctness…” talking about no longer making jokes that denigrated people for their culture or for the colour of their skin. And I thought, “That’s not actually anything to do with ‘political correctness’. That’s just treating other people with respect.”
Which made me oddly happy. I started imagining a world in which we replaced the phrase “politically correct” wherever we could with “treating other people with respect”, and it made me smile.
You should try it. It’s peculiarly enlightening.
I know what you’re thinking now. You’re thinking “Oh my god, that’s treating other people with respect gone mad!”
Literally costs you nothing to treat someone with respect by using their chosen pronouns.
I haven’t looked into him much, but Gaiman seems like a pretty good dude from what I’ve heard and the empathy in his writing.
Yeah, in a similar vein, I usually refer to it as being "impolite" a lot of the time when I'm talking about these topics with people who aren't exactly in the know about these things. It's both true and I don't think it carries as much of a moralizing/scolding tone when I really want someone to shut the fuck up without getting into a whole lecture about it.
Idk I’d feel kinda scummy if I was a cis dude going around pretending to be something else. Like, it could violate trust or something i haven’t really explored the notion much other than thinking it could be misleading in a way that could (in an admittedly probably minuscule) negatively impact people.
That’s a good suggestion, I guess I didn’t want to steal NB valor
As a nonbinary person, don't worry about it. Having people call you "they" online is in no way shape or form stealing nonbinary valor. I definitely don't assume that everyone using the they/them pronoun tag is nonbinary.
apparently taking 5 seconds is too much for some weirdos
tho some people are questioning/uncomfortable and that's fair enough
i got super excited because i am so tired and somehow read that as wave of tits.
Personally, I don’t like feeling pressured to give away personal information on the internet. I flaired up anyways because it makes people that don’t usually have a safe space feel more like they have one here at least.
Because taking someone else feelings on their personal autonomy into account for a fraction of a second is a violation of my rights goddammit!
Trans rights are human rights, love you all.
When I was young, up till 16 or 17, I looked and sounded fairly ambiguous and it made me feel very fucking bad when people would misgender me over the phone and, a couple times, in person.
So I think about that and then I think about how much worse it would be if I felt misgendered in my own body and by people close to me.
It would be awful, so I think pronouns rule because they eliminate this shitty self loathing that badly used words can make us feel.
Transphobia, from what I can tell. People don't like being told to do something that helps trans people
