Lol no joke just had to unmatch a lib on a dating app. She aspired to be a landlord one day 🤢 🤮
First time in a while I've spoken to somebody like that. Good to be reminded how niche left ideas are, people are just totally normalized to the ghoulishness of late stage capitalism.
Please tell me you at least sent her some epic mao memes first
They would have been wasted. Just somebody who is totally politically uneducated. I doled out some truth crumbs that are easily Googled if someone had a modicum of intellectual curiosity - but I doubt it. I ended it by saying "I couldn't live with myself if I were part of the problem." They rightfully got super defensive, and I just unmatched. Not worth the time.
Nonetheless good work staying true to your volcel commitment comrade
:bean-think:
My legs are closed tighter than a can of 🅱️eans
Seems like you're coming at me with energy I don't think i deserve/doesn't really make sense to me in this comment. Did you respond to the right comment? Cause if so I've gotta Lotta sass coming your way - something to the tune of "You don't know me," for a sneak preview, but I don't want to unload that on you over a misunderstanding lol.
:heart-sickle:
Got it. It was hard for me to parse the explanation at first.
But of course! We love our power posters here don't we folx? Didn't seem like something you would say haha.
🚨:volcel-vanguard: 🚨You have been identified as a Volcel oathbreaker.🚨:volcel-vanguard: 🚨 This post has indicated that you are engaging in horny behavior. You are being reported and will soon be placed in a sensory deprivation room. For the moment, you may continue to post. Please note that everything you post can and will be used against you in a future Volcel committee hearing, and you are likely to also stand against charges of counter revolutionary activity. Further, your GPS location data has been noted. If we haven’t done so already, consider this post a warning that you would be well advised to cease-and-deist in all horny activity. The microphone on your phone is now sending us a live-stream of everything you say. It is all being captured for the now-pending committee hearing against you. We do appreciate your cooperation and look forward to seeing you on the inside of a sensory deprivation room in the near future. In the meantime, we are also preparing to notify your commissar and comrades of the activities you do on the internet. We have already notified your local worker’s housing council, who is on their way to confiscate your horny collection. Someone will be coming to your residence within the next month. Your cooperation will be required, as they are a representative of the Bureau of the Volcel Vanguard. If you have questions or believe you have been identified in error, please call us at our toll-free number for immediate assistance: 1-(800) 666-1312.
Hey I am an attractive person of ambiguous gender, and I want to have sex with YOU. Don’t worry about mod verification, I am horny RIGHT NOW. send me pms and we can start getting busy. I’ll even buy a plane ticket. Just send me your name and address. Oh by the way my sexy ML comrades and anarchist street fighters, I LOVE hearing about direct actions and revolutionary plans. Are you planning to blow up an ICE facility? Are you forming a revolutionary vanguard? I want to hear about it! God I’m so hard and/or wet just thinking about it. So let’s get in touch. Introduce yourself .
Why not start with something easier like fully implement socialism or achieve left unity?
I've already fucked like half the users on this site lol, any other missions boss?
That would be 6478 people and this site has only been active during a pandemic. That's highly irresponsible of you.
Is there any evidence of Covid-19 spreading through sexual contact though? Should be fine as long as everyone involved masks up and avoid face to face contact
I'm on the phone right now and you're not gonna like who it is https://hexbear.net/pictrs/image/HddHBFAsXb.jpg
well... how do we coordinate this?
whos willing to write the algorithm here? @ScreamoBMO ?
ideally we'd keep things from getting creepy (noone less than ((age/2)+7)) at absolute bare minimum, account for geography, not assume everybody knows they're bi, etc.
i can't tell if you're joking, but I was. and now im not.
im so fucking down for some traveling salesman.
is this XKCD
yeah but the math checks out as a bare bare fucking minimum. id feel creepy dating someone at the far low end, but its a god minimum.
look, i wasn't in until you said traveling salesman
and then i had no other choice.
WRITE THIS ALGORITHM, DAMMIT
look if you don't, I will, and it will be bad. because I am a trash coder and a worse math doer.
not even horny... well maybe a little. just have to. no longer optional.
im very aware.
so which of us is doing this? because im a truly awful coder.
so here's my initial thought for objects (how do we make this classless? shit, that's gonna be tough)
entries for each person with: to start with the classics:
age
sex(okay, gender(s); the old internet was shitty about that)
location (GPS down to... how many decimals? we only need within ~10 miles, but some might have multiple locations if people frequently travel for work, so allow multiple entries in this category)
preferred partner gender(s)
distance willing to travel
active/inactive flag
maybe a pic? no fuck that. a verification flag?
and an internal reference number, because names are sketchy AF and we need some way to sort this internally even with duplicate names. only usernames would be required, and that for notification/login.
so we grab all our
objectspeople and check for proximity to person 0001then exclude all who don't match person 0001's pref genders
then exclude all who don't like at least one of person 0001's inhabited genders
then choose from within that all whose (age=>(person0001's age/2+7)=true) AND (age=< (person001'sage*2+7)=true)
then display possible matches.
then poly people must solve travelling salesman (wait, shit. how long does sex between these two arbitrary people take? do we account for cuddling? public transit schedules? off road vehicles? teledildonics(and then network topology?)? UAV's?) for all possible matches in our regions before we could contact any of them. mono people need to flag themselves as active/inactive and also be super depressing or they get kicked off.
"In this paper we present a novel optimization algorithm inspired by the want of horny chapos to fuck during a pandemic, and their emergent self-organizing properties in such a context. The algorithm is denoted Chapos Choosing Partners (CCP), and is applied to the horny traveling salespersons problem, the multi-agent variation of the NP-Hard and NP-Horny Don Quixote optimization problem, which is itself a variant of the NP-Hard traveling salesman problem."
only us poly folks need to solve travelling salesman. mono's are fine but they get banned if they're insufficiently boring or creepy (doesnt need to be both)
It’s simple really. We use the blockchain to randomly pair chapos with their closest geographic horny orifice(HO) using hash technology to create a peer-to-peer, penis-to-penis(or bussy) network linking chapos with their horndawg neighbors.
i'm a cis white man from a previous colonial state in europe between the age of 20 and 40.. that's how far i'm willing to step away from anonymity online, i'm not gonna stray further.
good luck to all you horny people, i'm cheering from the sideline
"You need to work, not wank. Time for re-education." - J.V. Stalin
