This was in my high school and early college years, later on in life I was able develop romantic relationships with them and healthy platonic relationships. I’ll be upfront and say a lot of the times if a straight dude hates women vehemently, it’s probably because he’s not getting laid or able to form any semblance of a romance with a woman.
And unfortunately they end up turning to things like PUA or other "red pill" stuff. IMO there does need to be some kind of leftist dating advice for young men because telling an awkward guy who can't get a date to "be himself" is like a capitalist telling a perpetually unemployed, downwardly mobile young person to "hustle."
Yeah never went down that road of PUA redpill. By good graces I’m fairly good looking and tall, so for me I just had to stop acting like an asshole and a creep and that helped immensely. Other dudes need a little more help or they do end up in those dangerous communities.
I don’t know all the answers as to how we fix this. As you’re right, simply telling someone ‘be yourself’ is not enough, it’s more complex and the help needed is more complex.
The good news is that -- like with any specialized school of self-help thought -- the less-desirable dating advice canon has a bunch of "common sense" stuff that you can separate from the shittier elements without extreme effort.