cat-trans

  • TerminalEncounter [she/her]
    ·
    2 months ago

    I have no idea, I love being trans!

    Chances are the stuff you hate about being trans are actually all the societal oppression and costs rather than the actual state of being trans. It costs a lot, yeah. Some people can be dickheads about it, yeah. Government puts up a lot of roadblocks, yeah. And of course, there can be real danger.

    But none of those are inherent to transness. For me being trans is about joy! Gender euphoria. Finally being yourself. Watching yourself become who you've always wanted even before you were able to articulate it. I still wake up happy I'm a woman every day! All the bad stuff is just as real but it's just not a necessary and essential part of being trans - there were plenty reactions to what we call being transgender today all throughout history, and a lot of it was quite good in antiquity or before colonization here in north america.

    • Bat [she/her, he/him]
      ·
      2 months ago

      Yeah a part of it is other people reactions and perception of me but I hate the most is the dysphoria. I've never once been comfortable in my own body, I feel shame looking in the mirror, I hate every part of my body. HRT has done almost nothing for me looks-wise. It got rid of my acne but beside that I look exactly the same as the day I started years ago, except for now I actually take care of my hair so it's not a greasy matted mess anymore.

      If FFS doesn't save me it's over

      • TerminalEncounter [she/her]
        ·
        2 months ago

        Makeup can help and so can doing a bit of brow shaping (like you can shave your brows a bit so they curve your forehead, it softens the look up there), I hope you get FFS soon!

        How long ago did you start?

        • Bat [she/her, he/him]
          ·
          2 months ago

          I've got no money no insurance FFS is years away

          Started mid twenties and it's been a little over 2 years now

          • TerminalEncounter [she/her]
            ·
            2 months ago

            Oh yeah, bangs are also a trans cheat code (just like any belted jacket or belted dress/top). They're annoying to maintain but... they can make your face look femme!

            2 years is when you should start noticing changes for sure, might just be taking longer. Make sure you're at a healthy weight - I know a lot of rail thin trans girls that get upset they aren't seeing fat redistribution but, cmon girlies, you need the fat from somewhere for it to redistribute lmao. You could try weight cycling gain 10 to 15 pounds for a bit, go back down, gain again etc the E will do its work at putting it into the right place. If you have pics of yourself for your own personal timeline from 2 years ago you might be surprised how much you've changed, it's harder to notice when you're living it day by day. I didn't notice my lips had fucking changed shaped and became fuller for example, that's pretty subtle.

            I hope you get FFS sooner :( I dunno, maybe one of those random great aunt inheritance where you get a cool $60K for no reason?? I just hope you do. Face dysphoria sucks.

            • Bat [she/her, he/him]
              ·
              2 months ago

              My hair is the one good thing I've got going for me and is the only reason that I pass once in a blue moon (that is until they hear me speak or observe my mannerisms for too long)

              I tried gaining weight and it just went to my gut and nowhere else. I took a picture of myself day 1 on HRT and I look at it every now again and cry, it looks just how I look now just disheveled

              All my family hates me for being a removed so there's no way I'll ever get any inheritance

              • TerminalEncounter [she/her]
                ·
                2 months ago

                Oh you beautiful creature, wish I could actually hug you. Such pure trans femme sadness, breaks my heart. meow-hug

                • Bat [she/her, he/him]
                  ·
                  edit-2
                  2 months ago

                  I hate people touching my body so that'd make me feel worse but thank you for the sentiment