cat-trans

  • Bat [she/her]
    ·
    7 months ago

    Yeah a part of it is other people reactions and perception of me but I hate the most is the dysphoria. I've never once been comfortable in my own body, I feel shame looking in the mirror, I hate every part of my body. HRT has done almost nothing for me looks-wise. It got rid of my acne but beside that I look exactly the same as the day I started years ago, except for now I actually take care of my hair so it's not a greasy matted mess anymore.

    If FFS doesn't save me it's over

    • TerminalEncounter [she/her]
      ·
      7 months ago

      Makeup can help and so can doing a bit of brow shaping (like you can shave your brows a bit so they curve your forehead, it softens the look up there), I hope you get FFS soon!

      How long ago did you start?

      • Bat [she/her]
        ·
        7 months ago

        I've got no money no insurance FFS is years away

        Started mid twenties and it's been a little over 2 years now

        • TerminalEncounter [she/her]
          ·
          7 months ago

          Oh yeah, bangs are also a trans cheat code (just like any belted jacket or belted dress/top). They're annoying to maintain but... they can make your face look femme!

          2 years is when you should start noticing changes for sure, might just be taking longer. Make sure you're at a healthy weight - I know a lot of rail thin trans girls that get upset they aren't seeing fat redistribution but, cmon girlies, you need the fat from somewhere for it to redistribute lmao. You could try weight cycling gain 10 to 15 pounds for a bit, go back down, gain again etc the E will do its work at putting it into the right place. If you have pics of yourself for your own personal timeline from 2 years ago you might be surprised how much you've changed, it's harder to notice when you're living it day by day. I didn't notice my lips had fucking changed shaped and became fuller for example, that's pretty subtle.

          I hope you get FFS sooner :( I dunno, maybe one of those random great aunt inheritance where you get a cool $60K for no reason?? I just hope you do. Face dysphoria sucks.

          • Bat [she/her]
            ·
            7 months ago

            My hair is the one good thing I've got going for me and is the only reason that I pass once in a blue moon (that is until they hear me speak or observe my mannerisms for too long)

            I tried gaining weight and it just went to my gut and nowhere else. I took a picture of myself day 1 on HRT and I look at it every now again and cry, it looks just how I look now just disheveled

            All my family hates me for being a removed so there's no way I'll ever get any inheritance

            • TerminalEncounter [she/her]
              ·
              7 months ago

              Oh you beautiful creature, wish I could actually hug you. Such pure trans femme sadness, breaks my heart. meow-hug

              • Bat [she/her]
                ·
                edit-2
                7 months ago

                I hate people touching my body so that'd make me feel worse but thank you for the sentiment