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  • ashinadash [she/her]
    ·
    edit-2
    5 months ago
    evil sex thought

    Cishet people just have a straight fetish. I mean you say your sex is VANILLA, Cisgender Man sir, but really you have a kink for being a big strong man with a fat dong and boinking submissive stereotypically attractive women, huh? You have a guy-kink. You're doing a performance, playing a role, it is a FETISH, sir. It's a sexualisation of your gender. Bro is autoandrophilic basically. Guy gets off on having sex as a man!!! His assigned gender!!!!!

    My brain is so rotted, I was thinkin about how Actually at least many cis people be making their gender a big part of their sex life, which is wild. It also made me realise, I kind of don't. I think one of the reasons I was so uncomfortable with my ex is because she was huuuuuuge into making sex very very fucking gendered... I couldn't get down with calling it a "princess hole", wasn't for me.

    I guess, further than that, I was kinda uncomfortable with being gendered during sex generally? I mean, say I'm a good girl sure, but that's actually about it. The idea of inhabiting "the role" of a woman felt weird to me. Feels weird. The Truth Of My Body Is Self-Evident; I've No Need To Involve My Gender Presentation In Sex. I'm more comfortable just being people, I guess. Maybe I wouldn't be against my partner bringing gender into the sex equation? But if so we would need to discuss that first, I guess. How much it's expected to play in.

    Yes reading Gender Outlaw and then The Gender Accelerationist Manifesto has completely rotted my brain.

      • ashinadash [she/her]
        ·
        5 months ago

        I bet this stuff is covered in like, Whipping Girl or something. It just rlly hit me that autogynephilia/autoandrophilia is really the cis "every accusation a confession" moment.

        • naom3 [she/her]
          ·
          5 months ago

          Thinking about that study where someone gave an autogynephilia test to a bunch of cis women and like 75% of them were scored as having it

    • Thallo [she/her]
      ·
      5 months ago

      I mean, yeah?

      I think of the scene from American Psycho where Bateman is have sex with a woman but he's really just watching himself do it in the mirror while flexing.

      I think a lot of cis sex is just kind of a spectrum of that. Not all tho

      • ashinadash [she/her]
        ·
        5 months ago

        Oh that is such a direct literal expression of this thing, I hadn't thought about that. Lmao.

        Cis ppl mari-smug

        • Thallo [she/her]
          ·
          5 months ago

          Is the point of that book, written by a gay man, "are the straights okay?" Lol

          • ashinadash [she/her]
            ·
            5 months ago

            thinking-about-it I think it's more intended to be about the self-absorbed, destructive excess of 80s coked out yuppies. I think because Mary Herron is such a chad, the film probably looks more through that lens than the book?

    • WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them]@lemmy.today
      ·
      5 months ago
      spoiler

      Before my egg started to really crack, my brother made a comment along the lines of "I don't get why certain types of BDSM porn exists" because he was thinking about the generic male-dom type stuff I assume. My response was like "but what if you imagine yourself as the sub?" and I think his reaction was something like "I guess :shrug:".

      I think it was kinda surprising to me that he did not seem to even considered that someone could watch it from the woman's perspective. Like I get toxicly masculine dudes would never admit to such, but my brother is a bit of a twink/very much against machismo stuff and open to these kinds of topics.

      This probably happened very shortly before egg started cracking and probably served as the catalyst for it eventually happening - which I considered when I saw an NB subreddit meme about how NBies are lucky because they can switch perspectives when watching porn.... which I'd probably have ignored as being hyperbole if it weren't for that recent interaction.

      Also, after cracking, I got confirmation that perspective switching wasn't something he does: when I came out to him, he was skeptical (in a way I wanted him to be <3) and the thing for him that seemed the most "definitely not a cis thing" was that.

      So yeah... cissies definitely seem pretty auto*sexual from my limited experience talking with them (my cousin also seems to only take the male perspective, but he doesn't like sexual discussions, so I don't really trust him to say if he didn't).

      • QueerCommie [she/her, fae/faer]
        ·
        5 months ago

        NBies are lucky because they can switch perspectives when watching porn....

        Porn bad. But also, true..? Erotica…

        So yeah... cissies definitely seem pretty auto*sexual from my limited experience talking with them

        Huh. I recently heard being Bi is basically being attracted to like yourself and other genders, and I’m like who doesn’t do that unless they’re gay? How do people live being unattractive in their own eyes? I liked how I looked no transition, but I also like how I look more being fem. I’m pan. Idk where I’m going, so I’ll stop.

        • ashinadash [she/her]
          ·
          5 months ago

          Porn bad.

          Nah it can be cool and rad. Like any other sort of work, if it's not coercive and something you rely on for survival and there's no managerial fuck above you, (in this case the atrocious porn industry and all the misogyny and such inherent) porn can be cool and rad and a good thing.

            • ashinadash [she/her]
              ·
              5 months ago

              You could always learn a little basic bit, most people aren't gonna kill you for asking.

              interviewer Quick! What are your thoughts on sex workers and porn actresses, if Porn Bad?

              • QueerCommie [she/her, fae/faer]
                ·
                5 months ago

                I’m always learning and asking questions, I just also have opinions. My second hand opinion is prostitution sucks and the people exploited in it are victims of patriarchal capitalism as any other worker and just as human and valid. The industry can be particularly exploitative, and the social stigma makes it worse, but I understand why some privileged people would enjoy it. Porn is bad because it’s patriarchal and distorts people’s views of sex, not because it’s immoral.

                • ashinadash [she/her]
                  ·
                  5 months ago

                  Oh nice, pretty good actually. Seen too many swerf takes before so that's good to see kel-bliss

      • ashinadash [she/her]
        ·
        edit-2
        5 months ago
        spoiler

        This goes so hard. I wish I coulda had this realisation ages ago instead of right now!! Such a cool thing to think about pre-eggcrack. The rigid autosexual nature of the cis is so funny to me now that I'm thinking abt it. I like that someone made a meme abt it, definitely one of the more unique distinguishers as far as "I am a genderlib" vs "I have thought about my gender a lot n read theory" goes. Also lol @ your goofy twink brother.

          • SnowySkyes
            hexagon
            M
            ·
            5 months ago

            Do I really need to have this whole fucking conversation again?

          • ashinadash [she/her]
            ·
            edit-2
            5 months ago

            Wow, that's unbearably cringe! It's almost as if you cannot spot

            the difference between (cw sex shit, same as above)
            • two people consenting to sex in which one of them takes on a couple of quasi-animal traits for fun

            and

            • bestiality, literally sexually assaulting an animal which cannot consent!!

            This is pure sadcringe, "furryphobic" is cringe even if you hide it behind a "/hj", the worst of all tone tags, schrodinger's rude fucker. Utterly eye-rolling.

            This is not the first time I've done this song and dance, apparently I am a magnet for "URR ITS BESTIALITY" people. It occurs to me suddenly that, perhaps the reason furries are pretty quiet in general is because of bullshit like this, people just cannot stop running their mouths. Just let other people be. Kinda sickening. I'm not even the one who brought the subject up, ffs.

            • BeamBrain [he/him]
              ·
              5 months ago

              It's always funny to me when I hear that because I'm a vegan and so in practice I'm way more opposed to

              CW: animal cruelty

              sexual abuse of animals

              than carnist non-furries will ever be.

            • QueerCommie [she/her, fae/faer]
              ·
              5 months ago

              Sorry, I can be a bit of a bitch bc I’m impulsive and don’t think about whether what I say will offend people. I’m privileged and don’t get offended, and I subconsciously assume others are similar. I didn’t mean to actually equate you with bestiality, I just tend to make insensitive jokes.

              • ashinadash [she/her]
                ·
                edit-2
                5 months ago

                brow 4chan vibe... that is literally what you did, "faux bestiality". Grats on being privileged, I am too to an extent, but you may want to stop assuming people won't get offended. Start thinking about whether or not what you say will offend people. Also it was unfunny anyway.

                I have ended up lecturing people about petplay twice now for some reason, despite not being a participant (which I know it's a losing battle to go "guise im not i swear!") The mixture of conflation with bestiality and the kinkshaming aspect just reeks of rightwing reactionary to me, I'll never accept it I don't think.