Sending good vibes to all of my trans comrades cat-trans

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  • Ambii [she/her, they/them]
    ·
    4 months ago

    Don't say "I think i might be..." or "I've been thinking", nothing that will sound like an opening to dismiss or argue your feelings.

    "I am" or "I've known for [time frame]" work best because they cement your feelings as a fact.

    Expect questions that might feel overly invasive or personal that you may not want to or be ready to share like "Why do you feel this way?", "Are you sure?", "What made you feel this way?", "Are you going to do x, y or z?"

    Coming out is the hardest step, I promise you things get much easier to talk about once it's out in the open.

    You got this! cat-trans meow-hug

    • kristina [she/her]M
      ·
      edit-2
      4 months ago

      seconding this. be adamant, dont be flimsy. start solid and end solid. say you are a woman and mean it! i feel like i came out in a very meek way and the fuckers wouldnt let it go for like 2-3 years

      • BountifulEggnog [she/her]
        ·
        4 months ago

        I will try. I have been meek my entire life so... yaknow. I guess if I pull it off it would make them that much more confident I'm doing the right thing.

    • BountifulEggnog [she/her]
      ·
      4 months ago

      "Why do you feel this way?", "Are you sure?", "What made you feel this way?"

      How do I even answer a question like this ohnoes because I definitely think a question like that is coming and they will really want to know. I can barely explain to myself.

      Thank you cat-trans I hope things get easier, I really can't if they don't.

      • Ambii [she/her, they/them]
        ·
        edit-2
        4 months ago

        How do I even answer a question like this

        These questions don't need to be answered truth be told. Sometimes we just feel things and we feel that those things are just right. But I think your response really depends on you and how you feel about yourself and the path you see in front of you.

        For example if someone I came out to asked me "Are you sure?", if I was feeling especially confrontational that day I'd turn it around on them and ask them how are they sure they're not trans. Or if I knew the person a bit more personally and was okay with talking about my deeper feelings, I'd talk to them about how horrible I felt before coming to an understanding of who I am.

        • BountifulEggnog [she/her]
          ·
          4 months ago

          I know I don't technically have to, but I really feel like they should have an answer and like the better they understand and more legitimate I seem, the more supportive they will be.

          That is a good idea, I should figure out what things I want to share. Thank you.

      • WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them]@lemmy.today
        ·
        edit-2
        4 months ago

        I think it depends on the person and how they're asking it. For my brother, he was skeptical, but like in a way where it was clear he wanted his skepticism to be proven wrong, not in a dismissing way. I was pretty open about all my thoughts (I think I just went over things roughly chronologically, because that was an easy way to organize thoughts for me) until he was content with my conclusion. You don't owe that kind of personal explanation to anyone, especially not people who are just trying to be dismissive.

        The only other person I've come out to I was less direct with and its effectively feeling like I'm coming out repeatedly because he didn't get it. So I'd suggest like others: be clear/direct. But like, also don't tell them when they're already really drunk and may forget. He's been really chill with everything.

        I'll still need to come out to my parents fully. Too much being indirect for my mom to get it so far. And I think stepmom does get it to some extent, but not clue how much since because of being indirect. My explanations for some things have been "cuz" or "I want to" or a shrug, which probably hasn't been helpful.