Sending good vibes to all of my trans comrades 
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sad, envy
Chat I am so sad and envious. Just seeing all these women my age... I don't know. I feel so sad. I want to cry but literally can't. I feel like I'm looking at the world through dirty glass. And then overhearing them talk. So much envy. I don't want to leave the house ever again. I just want to eat ice cream and rot inside. I still can't cry, tears just won't come.
Also I feel like a complete pervert. And I can't talk to anyone irl about it, even if I came out. They wouldn't understand.
Thank you :meow-hug:
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Fwiw I have a lot of the same worries and fears and struggles around looking (or not looking) at people, and sexuality. You aren't alone, we'll get through this together.
dysphoria
:agony-shivering: also FUCK HAVING BALLS OH MY GOD
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Balls suck, I hate my balls
i agree. the rest i can keep but want those things gone so bad
ruins my day
Yea, just felt shitty the entire time I was supposed to be having fun.
sad, envy
Uh this evoked a feel in me, took me right back to the year before hrt and stuff. Bad fuckin feel, do not want to go back to the "cant cry" feel
Very understandable to want to stay inside and eat icecream tbh. 
Also how are you a pervert? Are you a "pervert (positive connotation cool sex stuff)"?
Pretty sure whatever make you feel like a "perv" is fine, tho.
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:meow-hug: it's just so hard sometimes. And I just want to let it out but I can't. When I finally get back I'm just going to wrap myself up in a blanket.
Every time I look at someone I feel like I'm being gross. Like "checking them out" like every fucking creepy guy women hate. I hate it about myself. Idk.
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Sounds like a very good plan, I'm sorry
Ohhhhhh!! Yeah but also no =) I sometimes wonder if this is an autism thing, cause I have no idea how long is appropriate to look at somebody. I have gathered basically "never but everyone does it some", I think. Like more than a half second glance is weird if anyone notices? I people watch a lot so. I think this is different from "checking them out" though, unless you are actively having sexually-objectifying awooga thoughts about the people you are looking at, undressing them with your eyes. I kinda doubt that though since you just talk about envying other women a lot.
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Thanks :meow-hug:
Yea I know. It's hard to not people watch. I'm not I really just like their outfits :cri: but it's that feeling yaknow?
I would never post my actual struggles with my sexuality, way too much shame :ohnoes:
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Yw nerd
I do know, I had a whole thing this time a year ago about whether or not I was being a fucker by LOOKING at people all the time. Idk what the expectation is for being outside... I would think it's expected that people look at you? And as long as they aren't being weird it's okay? If people wanna soak in how good I look in a long coat and thigh high boots, go for it, I look fuckin awesome bitch, gaze upon me and weep that I am taken by a beautiful nonbinary goth wife
The feeling of being watched is a little odd I guess but if I knew someone liked my outfit or whatever, I might be compelled to strut tbh.
Lmao okay, understandable
Guess I have to continue filling the niche of "weird hyperpersonal sex struggle posts" in the mega ✨