her,,, expolde

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  • JohnBrownsBussy2 [she/her, they/them]
    ·
    2 months ago
    CW: Dysphoria/shame complex about IRL shopping

    Tried to fulfill some items on my gender checklist to see how they made me feel. Tried to go to two different stores (well, two different Wal-Marts) to pick up nail polish and facial cleanser, but dissociated and couldn't do it. It's frustrating, because I have bought nail polish multiple times from Wal-Mart! meow-tableflip

    Not for myself, but we used it as an easy sealant for slide covers at work, and it's quicker just to pay for it out of pocket then to order it through the system. The other times I've bought it from there, I've thought about buying a second for myself, or pocketing one from the lab, but I didn't have the self-awareness about my gender.

    Also tried to shop for clothes. I thought that JcPenny might have some cute enby-ish "men's" shirts in my size, but there was hardly anything that looked anything other than a generic "men's" shirt. Again, dissociated and had to leave the store.

    ohnoes

    So, having failed to shop in person, I am just ordering stuff off Amazon, even though I really wanted to try painting my nails tonight. Although, I will note that after adding nail polish and nail polish remover to my cart (and also some Kawaii catgirl face masks), Amazon is now recommending me a collar and thigh-highs. So, that's kinda gender affirming I guess.

    • TerminalEncounter [she/her]
      ·
      2 months ago

      First time I bought girl clothes for me I had to add groceries to it lol, for some reason I couldn't bring myself to just buy the tights and panties cause I was worried, somehow, everyone would know here comes this freshly cracked egg buying her first panties uggghhh

    • BountifulEggnog [she/her]
      ·
      2 months ago

      recommending me a collar and thigh-highs

      waow critical support to Amazon.

      Also meow-hug at the shopping in person struggles.