• lad [none/use name]
    ·
    4 years ago

    How the FUCK do you get into the job market as a person well beyond typical first job age.

    When they ask me why I havent had a job do I tell them how I've been a terminally unmotivated and depressed degen for the last like 8 years but I'm like totally fixed now or what. Like yes, bitch, I'm all hopped up on lexapro and ready to work until I'm 90.

    Unsure if the "longer you wait to get a job the harder it will be to start" is a job thing or a depression thing or both.

    It seems extremely unlikely that I'd be able to come up with a satisfactory lie about almost a decade of life, but it also seems extremely unlikely that I will get hired anywhere not completely cancer with zero work history at my age.

    • sebastian [he/him]
      ·
      4 years ago

      it's a job thing, for sure. do not tell them anything about your mental health, lie to them no matter how you have to. say you did freelance work as a mechanic, artist, hell even a babysitter. recruit some friends to get in on the lie as references. say you did it to have time for an ailing family member. whatever you gotta do.

      hell maybe even take a shitty fast food or retail job. they suck, but saying you're currently employed goes a long way in a job search. my brother went from a shit minimum wage fast food job to a 16.50/hr job with benefits, just by spring boarding off that.

      it sucks and capitalism is a nightmare

        • Mardoniush [she/her]
          ·
          4 years ago

          A surprising amount of corporate assholes who view it as "lack of drive"

            • lad [none/use name]
              ·
              4 years ago

              I'm not in any danger of losing my support system right now, I just finally crave independence and have some small bit of hope for my future.

              I'm kind of worried I might mentally check out if the job is too cancer though so I'm looking to avoid working cash registers, restaurants, fast food, anything where I must talk with random boomers constantly. The dream is maybe like stacking at a grocery store or a bestbuy or something.

            • crispyhexagon [none/use name]
              ·
              4 years ago

              hardass workaholics will run you into the ground without blinking an eye. you [might] keep up with them or but youre scum. theres no in between empathy for subordinates

          • the_river_cass [she/her]
            ·
            4 years ago

            ehh, even they will let that kind of thing lie for the most part. they don't want to show that they're raging assholes until after you've taken the job.

      • ComradeLove [he/him, comrade/them]
        ·
        4 years ago

        This, don't tell them about mental health struggles - That's not going to help. You were pursuing something, writing, music, taking care of your disabled grandma, fixing up beater cars and flipping them, something....

    • hotcouchguy [he/him]
      ·
      4 years ago

      Very impressive how you ran your grandparents small business for 10 years, until they recently passed and you sold the business.

    • MelaniaTrump [undecided]
      ·
      4 years ago

      just pick up basic foreign language skills in something obscure and lie about your work history abroad

      • lad [none/use name]
        ·
        4 years ago

        I can lie but not about things I know nothing about. Thinking on the fly like that in person honestly might be the thing I am least skilled at.

    • Nik [he/him]
      ·
      4 years ago

      Say you were the heir to a decent inheritance and spent your time and money taking care of your terminally ill mother. Then make a big show about how you’re now ready to join the job market and work hard for their profits

      • lad [none/use name]
        ·
        4 years ago

        The only realistic option I can think of is lying so yea probably

    • Slurry [any]
      ·
      4 years ago

      You say you were an extremely early retirer, fallen on hard times.

      For the cover story, read enough bogleheads to cover passive vs. active investing, & moneysavingexpert for the frugal vibes.

      Employers love the hard times bit. Says you'll follow orders.

    • Nagarjuna [he/him]
      ·
      4 years ago

      Say you worked for an organisation similar to the state department but can't say more than that.