@aaaaaaadjsf and @My_Army suggested this was the most professional way to end things. I can't believe I forgot to do this earlier and I think Dave has now blocked me.
@Shitbird you are my new favourite poster please never stop.
I bow to the most superior bird on this site.
I love boomers and threatening to take people to court. mmhmm you're going to jail for being rude to me, mister.
It's so fucking funny. Boomers wanted to complain about me growing weed, in my own fucking home, in a country where it is fully legal to do so. Fuck off and let me enjoy my plants.
:meow-cactus:
In South Africa I think it's more asbestos shit. They were still using asbestos in construction in the 2000s...
The remaining boomers are basically just the ones rich enough to not already die of lead poisoning and they are the fucking worst.
yeah you can't write off the whole generation. there are just a LOT of Daves.
I had never seen this before and I think you should post it to!shrekland@hexbear.net with the word shrek in the post body.
there's no way they are going to do that. They're too fucking cheap to pay above minimum wage for in-person office work in the middle of the pandemic.
I know but imagining the scenario playing out in front of a bored judge is funny to me.
"Your honor, this, this RUDE individual, they showed me a text of a pig with poop on it's testicles!!!"
Make sure you give a shout out to shrekland before you get the lethal injection for inconveniencing your boss.
Ok but imagine wearing an actual court approriate suite that closely matches those colors and maybe even arrangement.
I have a long history of interviewing well and fucking around until I get fired.
My hero. I started doing this myself as well. And am literally the happiest I've ever been at work. Like I laugh at the person I was who would work his ass off for $8.00 an hour. Fuck that
Right? I don't keep the surplus value of my labor so I should generate as little of it as possible.
capitalists made a system based around self interest and then act surprised when workers are self interested
I have a long history of interviewing well and fucking around until I get fired.
HAHAH this is me at my current job - except they finally caught on after me literally doing nothing the past year except maybe a handful of emails a day. Now for the past month I've been doing like 2 hours of work a day and they're in awe
"wow abc you're knocking this out of the park, I have no complaints" - my supervisor at the last two mandatory weekly meetings we've had to review my weeks performance
:pain:
My plan thus far has been to finish the probationary period and hopefully line a job up in the meantime so upon them releasing me from micromanagement I can turn around and be like "yeah, so here's my two weeks you fucks" since they too refuse to pay me more and even refused to subsidize A PORTION of a new computer desk despite the job being 95% wfh even prior to the pandemic
Fuck yeah. Your boss also sounds like a fucking Dave. Fuck "honest work", there's nothing honest about being underpaid and exploited. WE OWE THESE FAT RICH FUCKS NOTHING.
:shocked_porky: :gui-better:
this time office work writing stuff for minimum wage so that a bunch of smug white collar boomers could golf and be terrible.
i've done a ton of other shit though. if you dig through my post history you can find some of them.
This is bringing the spirit of the old sub back and I'm all for it
I think we need to all go and fuck with people irl and then post the results here.
Red Army Faction, but you just dress like a pig and throw shit at the head of Chase-Manhattan
If this is a prank show I'm gonna need Ashton Kutcher dancing around + losing his mind immediately.
We aren’t going to stop peaking anytime soon! We are going to peak so much, the site might even get tired of peaking! :tromp:
"Your honor, this ANTIFA THUG was SENDING ME PIG PORNOGRAPHY! I demand 1 million dollars!" :pigpoop: :porky-scared:
I'll figure something out. i have some savings and cool roommates who hate dave just as much as i do.
if you need context:
First post: https://hexbear.net/post/107136
Second post: https://hexbear.net/post/107194
Third post: https://hexbear.net/post/107217
Shrek post: https://hexbear.net/post/107153
Yeah all of this gives me major second hand anxiety lol. It's still fucking funny, and the best thing ever in this site.
:agony-turbo:
the secret is too be so burnt out and jokerfieid that you dont care anymore.
Tell him "corporate wants him to find the difference between the two pictures"
Fuckin' bravo
jesus lmao I'm glad to have been shirking my own responsibilities in order to be here and watch this piece of
hexbearshrekland history in the makingwell done comrade :rat-salute:
I'm self-employed, so I tell him every day and give him the occasional handjob
This....is art. it's the cutting, vulgar destruction of our society I so desperately crave! @Shitbird you have achieved great things
No, but if you can represent yourself why shouldn't you be able to get representation from someone equally unqualified? I'm working on a counter suit in which the demands shall be
-Excessive severance as well as back pay adjusted for the agreed upon $50/hr raise
-Dave must post here daily
-Court appointed union for your former workplace
-One of those singing bass fish
okay this sounds good. can you insist you're a lawyer to fuck with them or is that illegal?
Oh shit, I'll just add 'Make me a real lawyer' to the demands and when we win I'm a real lawyer so it's all fine and dandy.
I think this is how trump made enough money for gold plated shitters so yeah lets go
Damn, I haven't seen that in a while. It would play out pretty much the same.
I just like hanging around court rooms and I got passion about the case.
"we fuck, we suck, and sometimes we fuck and suck. legally speaking, of course."
edit: we don't have to go with this motto I'm just half a 40 of mickey's in now.
what is your detective agency named and do you need another detective? i just entered the job market
Sexy Detectives "Call us on Sunday, we'll be drunk". I'm afraid that's me and my two best friends. We can maybe dole something out for an informant.
