The blackouts may not have "actually happened", but SURELY China is on the brink of collapse without Australian coal! :cope:
"We couldn't corroborate an event that would have even witnessed by hundreds of millions of people had it occurred, mostly because nobody on our staff an read or speak a language used by 1.5 billion people."
Thesis: China ran out of coal
Antithesis: there were no blackouts
Synthesis: Xi forced Uyghurs to run in hamster wheels to generate enough power for all of China
fake news. the average ethnically uighur person is far too large to fit on a hamster wheel
excuse you sweaty, but in chyna, they achktually have giant hamsters the size of multistory buildings called "kaiju" which means capybara in asian, okay?
:capybara-theorist:
they fit all the uighurs into kaiju-hamster-wheels and force them to run for days, sometimes even weeks, until they die of exhaustion! it is genocide
Meanwhile just months ago we irrefutably had massive rolling blackouts in Texas that killed dozens of people. This is pure projection.
"Does anyone in your staff know Mandarin?" "Of course we know what oranges are, sweety."
in the future, all energy will be generated from the heavy water in the tears of the last liberal holdout.
"Yeah, we realised actually it's a lot easier to just write about events that you wished were happening than going to the trouble of actually investigating stuff and reporting real things, so we've decided we're just gonna do that from now on"
Lmao, the CIA just gives them the headline. They gotta write the article themselves.
In other news, news may or may not have happened.
Stay tuned for more news.
There needs to be some type of accountability for willfully reporting bullshit. These hack "journalists" have brain poisoned an entire generation of people.
A widely shared online article listed planned blackouts by the Shanghai State Grid for different parts of Shanghai on Dec. 22.
The Onion has more integrity
