https://mobile.twitter.com/IAmJericho/status/24234200267
You've never been on a plane where all the seats are folding chairs?
I think you have find that over the yers wrestlers have used so many razor blades on themselves that they have developed an immunity.
Slashed and bleeding from a box cutter is just another day at the offices
What I'm imagining is a Fast & Furious-esque plane heist movie with absurd wire-fu. Have a boxcutter guy fight an MMA guy on top of the plane while it's flying. Have a revelation that the plane was never meant to land and the pilots are crash test dummies. Have the climax of the film be a computer guy hacking the plane from the ground and controlling it like a drone so it can make an emergency landing, but wait! it's making an emergency landing IN A PACKED STADIUM?!
shit like that
female character, coded as annoying: YOU CANT LAND IN A STADIUM, THERE'S NOT ENOUGH ROOM!
cool nerd guy: maam don't worry we have this under control
annoying female: "we?"
Elon Musk enters dramatically: we are going to land the plane vertically
Can someone program my wifi buttplug to vibrate whenever someone upbears my post
I'll give u my api key
Real Mark Wahlberg "9/11 wouldn't have happened if I was on that plane." Energy.
"I'VE BEEN TO THE TOP OF THE TWIN TOWERS", he shouts as he leaps from a rope into the cockpit. He kills all but one of the hijackers with a folding chair, then jumps out of the plane with the final one to bodyslam him from 30k feet.
He needs to stop the hijacking because in 2001, The Undertaker threw a Boeing 767 off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through a world trade centre.
A plane is too small, would be better if it were a bunch of terrorists who have kidnapped a cruise and are going to ram it against an oil station. Will the WWE save the seas? What strange alliances will be formed?
Yeah but if you suplexed someone on the plane it'd crash the plane from the sheer force of the dunk. It'd be like Goku doing it, hell the plane would explode. Rethink this perfect wrestlers.
Reminds me of a stupid french king, who thought that since he jousted in many tourneys he would be well prepared for war. Turns out he just got his entire army slaughtered the first time he was in an actual battle
Can u imagine terrorists trying to knock down 2000-year-old city walls that the WWE crew was on? Trumpets vs the craziest mofos on the planet? Game over wandering tribesmen.
I am so tempted to be THAT GUY who has to say pro wrestling isn't real...
It is real. I have seen videos.
It is so real that most wrestlers develop life long health peoblems and substance abuse issues which are worsened by them being alienated from their high flying big slammin labor.
It don't get realer than that brother!
It's real in the sense that they're slamming into each other from 20 feet up. It's not real in the sense they're not in actual combat.
Yeah getting thrown out of a ring onto a folding table from 15 feet and allowing yourself to be thrown have mostly the same outcomes with regards to your physical health.
I think that was the premise of the Birds of War versus Talibum arc.
This reminds me of the time Jon Jones chased an attempted robber with a 12 guage shotgun and a bunch of people were thinking how he didn't need the shotgun at all because he's Jon Jones. For a country with so much gun violence, you'd think people would understand how guns are the great equalizer and then some. If that robber was packing heat, Jon Jones is 6 feet deep. Thank goodness Jones was smarter than that
And that in turn reminds me of a similar, more depressing case involving Vitor Belfort's sister being kidnapped, held for ransom, and presumably killed. When the story was on r/MMA, there were tons of people who I guess thought that Vitor Belfort, being a baddass cage fighter, could never have some horrible shit like that happen to him or his family because people would be too scared of how baddass he is.
Or, on an even goddamn darker note, how some people reacted to the acts of the Golden State Killer, by being all confused and shocked that horrible shit like that could happen while the man of the house was home.
I think part of it is people acting as though being in the moral right would empower them to be harder to kill and to kick more ass or something, beyond just over-estimating how big-and-tough these big-and-tough dudes really are.
This is the plot of Frank Miller's next comic, soon to be a Zack Snyder movie.
