So much of it sucks. Goin on dates is fuckin exhausting. Then things eventually don't work out and you have to repeat the process. How people can be bothered is beyond me.

Went on a date a while ago, had a good time, but in the end she either wasn't into or just bad at showing she was. Either way, took the L there. I don't mind the rejection so much though, cos it gives me hope that theres people out there who I'm at least interested in.

Went on a date with a new person today. Was excited to go on it, we got on well over text. Came to in person and I just didn't click with em so well. I dunno. Maybe I'm being too harsh. I couldn't really tell how she felt about the date to be honest. Not sure if it's worth the effort of finding out.

Weirdly I feel like first dates went better if I'd been a whore for them over Instagram first.

  • Hohsia [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    3 years ago

    I always hate that one of the most intimate parts of being human was commoditized to hell. Online dating seems to be the norm and I don't have any pictures of myself like I did in college

    I haven't been on a date in such a fucking long time. I can certainly see why cishet white men are easily drawn to people like Jordan Peterson and all of the other self-help gurus- it reeks of desperation and is a result of being atomized

    Let me know when you find an answer to your question lol

    Also, very good yugopnik video

    • star_wraith [he/him]
      ·
      3 years ago

      I can certainly see why cishet white men are easily drawn to people like Jordan Peterson

      Absolutely. I can't even count the number of times I met someone online and went on 1-3 dates before it just didn't work out. Maybe 25-30 over a period of like 6 years? It took some will power to not start getting real down on myself and turn to grifters like Peterson.

    • Orcocracy [comrade/them]
      ·
      3 years ago

      The strangest part is how even just six or seven years ago meeting people through an app or a website was quite unusual. Most people in their 20s and everyone in their 30s and above should be able to remember a time before all of this nonsense. Yet the public remains captured by these awful apps.

    • MaoTheLawn [any, any]
      hexagon
      ·
      3 years ago

      Yes I've seen that video and it just makes me hate the dating game even more lol

  • Abraxiel
    ·
    3 years ago

    The vast majority of my romantic and sexual partners have been people I've met through friends where we got to know each other at group hangs or parties and felt a little chemistry. Takes some of the initial nerves out of it and also makes people more comfortable since there's some vetting built in and plus if someone is an asshole on a date it's gonna get back to the mutual friends.

    • JuneFall [none/use name]
      ·
      3 years ago

      and plus if someone is an asshole on a date it’s gonna get back to the mutual friends.

      My experience is this isn't true and doesn't quite happen.

    • MaoTheLawn [any, any]
      hexagon
      ·
      3 years ago

      Yeah I agree, I miss the days of flirtin at school for that reason. You're around each other plenty and there's always so much to talk about

  • Eldungeon [none/use name]
    ·
    3 years ago

    I feel so bad for people today. My romantic period was pre social media and in many ways I've refused to use social media was on the other side of the digital divide for the longest didn't get a smart phone until 2015 - it's only made me lazier and stupid really. I've been with my partner almost like two decades they lived next door in my flat complex. First date/hang we broke into a few local hotel swimming pools and got kicked out of all of them. Been together ever since best thing that ever happened to me. I would suggest to move beyond the algorithm and make some real connections if you really want love instead of social security, social reproduction etc. But what the hoot does my dumb ass know?

    • MaoTheLawn [any, any]
      hexagon
      ·
      3 years ago

      Yeah you're definitely right. That swimming pool thing sounds like a dream. Thing is, unless you're really lucky I feel like with in person stuff I'd end up settling - cos they're right there so it's nice n easy. I've done that before and don't want to do it again. Just holding out for good luck I spose.

    • Trace
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      deleted by creator

  • ryansmith [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    3 years ago

    I'm old, so take what I say with a lot salt.

    I can't imagine anyone except the 4 guys per town who got infinite pussy thrown at them since they were 13 batting any kind of acceptable average on online dating.

    Men look like shit. Dating for men is all personality except the aforementioned 4 guys per town that were actually objectively attractive. Isn't possible to get personality across on the internet to a stranger.

    Like most advice you'll be given now a days, log off. Look for any way to be around women in a non-fuck atmosphere to build trust and bonds before taking the next step.

    I realize this sounds like the DENNIS system, I don't know man, I still think it's true. Sounds corny as fuck but volunteer, do lame hobby shit. Anything flesh to flesh.

    • Nagarjuna [he/him]
      ·
      3 years ago

      This is true, but don't pick up a hobby to get laid. Pick up a hobby to pick up a hobby, and don't worry about dating unless you feel chemistry

    • MaoTheLawn [any, any]
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      3 years ago

      I do pretty well tbh, the problem on tinder isnt matches. I'm always sitting on 99+ potential matches. And I get my personality across pretty well too - been doin whorish internet stuff since I was like 14 lol so the text game is probably even stronger than the in person game. In real life girls cold approach me n give me their number/Instagram sometimes even. I just rarely ever like anyone, and when I do I just eventually don't - or they don't like me back.

    • MaoTheLawn [any, any]
      hexagon
      ·
      3 years ago

      I go through stages of asexuality but I still miss a cuddle. Sucks that sex is usually expected before or after it.

    • MaoTheLawn [any, any]
      hexagon
      ·
      3 years ago

      Exactly lol most of my dates have ranged from weird creeps who tell me I look like their dad and then try to fuck me in my sleep, to awkward snooze fests where I'm glad to be gone by the end. Some went well but then didn't work out.

  • Koa_lala [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    3 years ago

    Not at all. It really seems like something 'for the normal people' at this point or whatever. It bums me out. Dating as a neurodivergent person is really hard. But I still want company.

  • REallyN [she/her,they/them]
    ·
    3 years ago

    I'm so lonely, I want to be vulnerable with people but I can't because of anxiety and low self-esteem and self-worth. I doubt I could find anyone willing to deal with that kind of baggage even if I could :asagiri:

  • Shitbird [any]
    ·
    3 years ago

    i justt flap ma wngs & strutt idk et wrks 4 mi