• Muad'Dibber@lemmygrad.ml
      hexagon
      ·
      6 months ago

      Nice, you got most of em. The inflation one made my jaw drop too. Like rent and food prices in the US have gone up like 20% every single damn year.

        • SUPAVILLAIN@lemmygrad.ml
          ·
          6 months ago

          If not for the existence of Barack "Drone King" Obama, Paul Krugman would be proof positive as to the abject worthlessness of Nobel prizes.

          • Muad'Dibber@lemmygrad.ml
            hexagon
            ·
            6 months ago

            Krugman always makes me think of this one from one of Lenin's best diss tracks:

            The answer is simple: the personal qualities of present-day professors are such that we may find among them even exceptionally stupid people like Tugan. But the social status of professors in bourgeois society is such that only those are allowed to hold such posts who sell science to serve the interests of capital, and agree to utter the most fatuous nonsense, the most unscrupulous drivel and twaddle against the socialists. The bourgeoisie will forgive the professors all this as long as they go on “abolishing” socialism.

        • ziggurter [he/him, comrade/them]
          ·
          edit-2
          6 months ago

          You excluded everything people needed to live.

          Come on, Paul.

          Golden fucking reply. Which of you lovely lefty trolls did this?

        • Infamousblt [any]
          ·
          6 months ago

          Yeah but TVs are more affordable than ever so thanks Biden!

        • FuckyWucky [none/use name]
          ·
          edit-2
          6 months ago

          Food inflation growth rate has decreased but high food inflation for over a year reduced the purchasing power especially as there wasn't much growth in wages.

          " Food inflation is a fanum tax on the poor" - Someone

          • Frank [he/him, he/him]
            ·
            6 months ago

            Is it still inflation when they're just jacking the prices up bc they can and no one will stop them?

          • HexBroke [any, comrade/them]
            ·
            edit-2
            6 months ago

            If the stats are bad, just go down another layer in derivatives.

            Price of food much higher? Well the rate of food price increases might be slower.

            Rate of food price increases much higher? Well, the rate of the rate of price increases is probably fine, that's not likely to be exponential.

            President Biden delivered for the American people by stopping growth in inflation

      • zifnab25 [he/him, any]
        ·
        6 months ago

        Libs will believe anything you tell them, if its printed on watermarked vellum with a Sans Serif font.

    • SacredExcrement [any, comrade/them]
      ·
      edit-2
      6 months ago

      Just adding on to this

      45.3 million people have student loan debt, so we helped...7.9% of them. Typical liberal 'help'.

      When he's right, he's right though, we sure are 'standing up' for Ukraine and Israel, the admin literally circumvented Congress again to send Israel more guns to kill Palestinians with, and is currently quiet quitting in Ukraine.

      Wait, that's not supporting...oh.

      The White House is reportedly open to making concessions to Republicans in its negotiations over aid to Ukraine and Israel that go far beyond border security.

      lmao, can't make this stuff up.

      The admin did also confirm a lot of judges, although maybe it'd be better if they didn't.

      Mr. Biden had intended to nominate Meredith for a district court judgeship in eastern Kentucky...Meredith, a well-known conservative in Kentucky, defended the state's anti-abortion laws in court. He also successfully defended a state law that stripped Kentucky Democratic Gov. Andy Beshear of his emergency power to implement COVID-19 restrictions.

      Liberals.

      • Rom [he/him]
        ·
        6 months ago

        The White House is reportedly open to making concessions to Republicans

        surprised-pika

    • TankieTanuki [he/him]
      ·
      edit-2
      6 months ago

      "The life expectancy of men in the U.S. is nearly six years shorter than that of women"

      Show

      Odd choice of graphic. Seems to imply the opposite.

  • nothx [any]
    ·
    6 months ago

    This reads like my first resume where i was listing the useless college projects I did.

  • oktherebuddy
    ·
    edit-2
    6 months ago

    indistinguishable from me padding my quarterly review key deliverables summary

    "through various actions"

    "(action) to advance (good thing)"

    "improved (thing)"

    "took action to"

    "strengthened"

    "helped"

    also bragging about standing up for Israel lmfao

    • betelgeuse [comrade/them]
      ·
      6 months ago

      It does sound like a bullshit resume and I don't think that's a coincidence when you look at the kind of linkdin freaks who work in PR.

      • Muad'Dibber@lemmygrad.ml
        hexagon
        ·
        6 months ago

        I hate that they've made us weaponize the soulless PR speak they invented against them, just to get a job.

    • Gay_Wrath [fae/faer]
      ·
      6 months ago

      "through various actions"

      "(action) to advance (good thing)"

      "improved (thing)"

      "took action to"

      "strengthened"

      "helped"

      literally going to save this to pad my next review

      • HexBroke [any, comrade/them]
        ·
        edit-2
        6 months ago

        Dot point list

        • strengthening
        • coordinating
        • driving
        • delivering
        • enhancing
        • reforming
        • Innovating
        • Implementing
        • Accelerating
        • Streamlining
        • Optimizing
        • Expanding
        • Transforming
        • Leading
        • Developing
        • Building
        • Maximizing
        • Facilitating
        • Elevating
        • Advancing
        • Integrating

        Then you start combining them until they mean nothing at all

        • leading the advancement of integration efforts to deliver streamlined reforms
        • strengthening the development of optimal implementation strategies to expand and enhance coordination
        • Gay_Wrath [fae/faer]
          ·
          6 months ago

          inshallah

          Thank you comrade, i'm looking for a new job soon and will need to pad my resume

  • SUPAVILLAIN@lemmygrad.ml
    ·
    edit-2
    6 months ago

    Tackled inflation & lowered costs

    Lemme just shell out 200 bucks for the store-brand variants of a week's load of groceries that USED to cost 50 if I was getting the ritzy settler brands. And the lie detector test determined... That was a lie.

    Tackled the climate crisis

    Lemme just look outside and see how it was in the 60s where I'm at for Christmas. We used to be able to count on a foot of snow being on the ground by now. The lie detector test determined... That was a lie.

    Invested in Amerika and created good jobs

    Lemme just check Indeed, Monster, and my local temp agency real quick... And the lie detector test determined... That was a lie.

    Made Amerika safer from gun violence

    Cops done shot up MORE PEOPLE THAN THEY HAVE FOR THE LAST TEN YEARS THIS YEAR ALONE. And the lie detector test determined... That was a lie.

    Made higher education more affordable

    Where's the debt forgiveness Joseph? And the lie detector test determined... That was a lie.

    Strengthened democracy at home and abroad

    You had hundreds of activists locked up between Palestinians and Black folk; more than half of them have been given RICO charges that will put them away for decades if not for the rest of their lives, and you claim you 'strengthened DEMOCRACY'? CRACKER PLEASE.

    Confirmed highly qualified judges

    Uh... Where? Who?

    • DragonBallZinn [he/him]
      ·
      6 months ago

      maybe-later-kiddo: "Stop with the purity tests, you know Joe Biden couldn't do anything too ambitious or else he'd alienate whit-, I mean, the working class!"

  • iridaniotter [she/her, they/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    6 months ago

    Yawn, read the Chinese President's address instead.


    2023 MAJOR ACCOMPLISHMENTS of the Xi-Han Administration

    ★ PREVENTED INFLATION & LOWERED COSTS

    Consumer and wholesale prices fell, avoiding the years-long inflationary and cost-of-living crisis present in the rest of the world.

    ★ TACKLED THE CLIMATE CRISIS

    Installed 230 GW of wind and solar power - double that of the US and EU combined. The world's first pebble-bed gas-cooled high-temperature nuclear reactor entered commercial service. The number of electric vehicle charging stations reached 100,000 with 33% in rural areas. Despite high power consumption increases of nearly 10% year-on-year, the country is set to reach peak carbon emissions ahead of schedule.

    ★ PREVENTED A REAL ESTATE CRISIS

    The ongoing property sector crisis continues to be managed, preventing Japan-like stagnation.

    ★ OVERSAW INNOVATION-DRIVEN DEVELOPMENT

    The C919 large passenger airplane entered commercial service. The Chinese-built large cruise ship completed its trial voyage, and the Shenzhou spaceships are continuing their missions in space. Further advances in the domestic semiconductor industry have been made.

    ★ STRENGTHENED MULTILATERAL INSTITUTIONS

    Various international trade deals were denominated in local currencies. Several more countries were invited to join BRICS.


    and so on and so forth, etc. etc. I only have my laptop and can't use my right pointer finger so I'm pretty tired of navigating the internet and typing lol

    • invo_rt [he/him]
      ·
      edit-2
      6 months ago

      I literally watched Xi's address last night and was blown away by the use of examples of actual, concrete things done and not just lofty rhetoric about shit like "the promise of America" and "the shape of our democracy".

      xi-cooking

      • RyanGosling [none/use name]
        ·
        6 months ago

        I hate “optimistic” documentaries made by liberals because it was always ends with some shit like “even though our country is deeply divided, at the end of the day, we’re Americans. And Americans want to protect our freedoms and democracy. We’ll get there, but we have to work together.”

        And throughout the documentary it’s just some bourgeois asshole naval gazing at poor people.

      • Rom [he/him]
        ·
        6 months ago

        Look Jack I saved the soul of America now vote for me biden-point

    • Muad'Dibber@lemmygrad.ml
      hexagon
      ·
      6 months ago

      Last night I was with mostly liberals, so they wanted to watch the Times square ball drop. Even they had to admit it was the most depressing, ad-ridden joke of a tradition. Watching Xi's calming, and uplifting new year address this morning is the best detox for it.

      • invo_rt [he/him]
        ·
        edit-2
        6 months ago

        Same. I watched the ball drop with a bunch of people and everyone brought up how nearly every inch of the screen was covered in ads not to mention planet fitness' brand colors drive the aesthetic for everyone there. It's just a sea of purple and yellow.

  • SoyViking [he/him]
    ·
    6 months ago

    Here's a list of all the things I people hate me for failing to do. People are going to love me if I just lie through my teeth and claim I did an awesome job on all of them

    • blobjim [he/him]
      ·
      6 months ago

      tackled it and beat it to death with his bare hands 07

  • TheWorldSpins [any, undecided]
    ·
    6 months ago

    ● Provided exceptional workplace ethic while serving as supervisor to over 50 departments while maintaining personal staff.

  • citrussy_capybara [ze/hir]
    ·
    edit-2
    6 months ago

    man really posted he solved the climate crisis and legalised abortion in amerikkka
    https://twiiit.com/POTUS/status/1741206275055034388
    this is a list of things that sound good, and then an explanation about how the claims fall short

    TACKLED THE CLIMATE CRISIS
    wrote “the climate crisis” on the ground and then tripped on it

    PROTECTED ACCESS TO REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH CARE
    by making sure hospital doors are unlocked during business hours

    ACHIEVED WORLD PEACE
    uniting it in hatred towards me

    CONVERTED USA TO 150% RENEWABLE ENERGY
    technically fossil fuels are renewable on a long enough time span

    CURED CANCER
    made crab jerky

    HOUSED ALL THE HOMELESS
    by throwing them all in prison

    GAVE EVERY CITIZEN $2,000,000
    in tax breaks if they donate to my campaign

  • RyanGosling [none/use name]
    ·
    edit-2
    6 months ago

    invested in America & created good jobs

    Did Nathan Felder write this?

    MADE AMERICA SAFER FROM GUN VIOLENCE

    About 1,000 less deaths than last year. Lol

    The proposed law would restrict federal funding to states that didn’t comply. Red states took it to court, and Biden threw in the towel and added “exemptions” to the states.

    Show

    The legislation never received a vote in the Senate.

  • Pisha [she/her, they/them]
    ·
    6 months ago

    "tackle", "protect", "safer", "strengthen"... What a vocabulary. I can't tell if I'm reading something about football or a war report.

    • BlueMagaChud [any]
      ·
      edit-2
      6 months ago

      I want a linebackers coach to give me a breakdown on his form

  • Gay_Wrath [fae/faer]
    ·
    6 months ago

    me trying to update my resume when i spent the last 3 years smoking weed and playing video games at my job:

  • DragonBallZinn [he/him]
    ·
    6 months ago
    1. No you didn't

    2. No, you most certainly didn't (although to be fair no one president can do this)

    3. Ok, the high speed rail stuff is pretty cool. I'm in a good mood, so you get one.

    4. No you didn't

    5. Wasn't there more mass shootings in 2023 than days?

    6. Could have fooled me

    7. Yeah, you 'spoke out' against it. But no one listened.

    8. None of that is relevant thanks to the supreme court, and democrats would never use the GOP tactics of putting their alleged ideological loyalties as upmost priority.