imagine being gay and still trying to conform to society's standards and shitting on superior rad fem gays
What your saying is true and valid. But there is value for more masculine gay guys to find community where they can see themselves as a part of it.
It's part of the transition away from these folks having negative influencing straight men driving the conversation, rather than more accepting gay men they can hang around.
this is the correct take and defining yourself as "not like the other gays" is reactionary
Not everyone who is a gender conforming gay person gives a shit about conforming to anything like what the fuck are you talking about.
Like at least personally I very strongly associate with certain aspects of masculinity for myself, but that has jack shit to do with how I feel about other people. Most of the guys I've dated have been more feminine acting then me, and I never gave a shit what others thought.
I've never been one for online gay communities as there's too much recycling of content, but making some gay friends who are more like me has kinda been an important thing in terms of self acceptance. I understand why people are attracted to those spaces and terms when people struggle to see themselves within mainstream gay culture.
I don’t act stereotypically gay either but I think it’s pretty obvious OP is talking about gay dudes who aggressively perform masculinity and deride feminine gays specifically appeal to straight, homophobic, sexist dudes. Not because they just naturally align with traditionally masculine traits. People like that definitely exist.
If OP had meant that, then that's what they would've said. Instead they're implying that anyone who is gay and gender conforming is only that way because they're the thing your describing.
I've seen people do this shit before, and it's gross and invalidating to huge numbers of gay people who also aren't in any way reactionary towards other gay people.
I’m sorry if people have treated you like that before but everyone else here seems to have gotten the context of the post just fine. I get the impulse but there’s absolutely nothing in Cumwaffles post that’s specifically conflating masculine gays with the dudebro homophobic gays. She probably would have specified masculine gays if that’s what she meant.
What are "gay bros" other than masculine gays, I really don't see the difference.
It’s the difference between “bros” and masculine guys in general. Maybe it isn’t really a thing outside of parts of the USA but “bro culture” is specifically referring to a highly performative, chuddy, jock-ish, and aggressively masculine group of guys. Think college frats. Gay Bros are just an extension of that.
Yeah this is still where my discontent with the whole thing lies. You can be gay and be in a frat, and bring more feminine guys the frat events as dates, and defend them if members of your frat or other frats talk shit like I've done multiple times in the past.
I gained a lot from being in a fraternity, although my experience is probably still different than others given that my frat was relatively leftist (powerful Bernie bro energy circa late 2015).
I’m not talking about literally every frat and every person in one. It’s a stereotype that definitely exists. That’s what the Gay Bro thing is referencing from.
Yeah I'm not angry at what you're saying, I'm just generally bothered that I get lumped in with shitty people when I'm just living as my authentic self.
That’s the thing comrade, I get the impulse but nobodies lumped you in anywhere here. Maybe making a separate post or clarifying that you know cumwaffle isn’t meaning to lump you into the Gay Bro archetype would be a bit more conducive to conversation since that is something that probably should be talked about in a more relevant context.
Yeah this space is relatively positive and affirming. But it's definitely a common trend I've come across among self identified rad queers to hate on gays that are in any way conforming. Although I assume in part that's largely just as a defense mechanism.
Yeah, I know what you mean. I’m pretty stereotypically hetero looking and I’ve seen some of that bashing myself. There’s even the concept of “gold star lesbians”, which is what my name is referring to, where some gay women will disregard and consider women who have slept with men (or are more immersed in hetero culture) to be “lesser gays”. It’s definitely a thought pattern that exists.
i did indeed only mean the toxic assholes, i have nothing against masculinity, im sorry for upsetting you