"A lot of people probably don’t want to celebrate our nation right now, and we can’t blame them. When there is so much division, hate and unrest, why on earth would you want to have a party celebrating any of it?" the statement began.
Right, division is the problem. A nebulous concept that implies no one is right or wrong, just that we're not communicating with each other properly.
Can't be that we have real, material gripes and that one side of the class war is ramping up their attacks, no.
What would happen if we prioritized the unity of the state over all else? What would that be called?
I hate Orlando more than any city I’ve ever been to by a long mile. I truly, deeply despise Orlando with my whole heart, and unfortunately I have to go there upsettingly often.
Saying a slightly negative “Obviously a lot of people aren’t feeling like celebrating rn” was one of the only cool things Orlando has ever done in its hellish history, and they couldn’t even stick to their guns. Fuck you Orlando.
If I had to choose a major American city to drop a nuclear bomb on, it would hands down be Orlando. There is nothing salvageable in that disgusting wasteland of toll roads.
If it's any consolation the whole of Florida will be drowning inside 20 years
Not going to lie, there is a part of me that looks forward to coming back to my home town on a ruins boat tour as an old man and at least being happy that this hellish place no longer exists
Scuba diving through the Little Mermaid ride lmao
That ursula animatronic is going to look creepy af underwater.
it's not because there's a lot of really valuable and unique natural space in Florida
I think it’s because I grew up in one of the places with the highest concentrations of manatees in the world and hate my hometown and everything associated with it, but I fucking hate manatees. Manatees are the answer to the question “What if dolphins sucked and were boring”
I know it’s just my inherent hatred for this awful place having grown up here, but Florida nature is my least favorite natural environment on earth, and there are so few things here that I would care if it was absolutely destroyed.
It’s all flat sandy pine forests and gross swamps, all with the worst swarms of mosquitos you’ve ever seen in your life. 75% of the year it’s too hot and humid to go outside for more than 5 minutes. I guess it’s interesting that we have a lot of gators but they live other places too, and they’re not exactly endangered. And even they don’t do much interesting, you just occasionally see one next to a lake.
Nobody is more easily offended than American Patriots™. Federal holidays make it so easy to dunk on these clowns. Next year I hope we get "Death to the Great Satan" parades.
Next year I hope we get “Death to the Great Satan” parades
Under a DeSantis presidency, just thinking that will get you executed for sedition.
He won't be president until 2025, so next year is our second-to-last chance.
He's going to be President of Florida before then, he's already forming a militia
Can't let the facade drop for even a moment or it dissolves like a raccoon washing cotton candy.
:1984: :freeze-peach:
In bad country, criticism of the government isn't allowed
I was about to say that someone writing the newsletter is incredibly BASED, but then I read the whole thing:
A lot of people probably don’t want to celebrate our nation right now, and we can’t blame them. When there is so much division, hate and unrest, why on earth would you want to have a party celebrating any of it?
But in all seriousness, you know in your heart, Fourth of July fireworks are amazing, especially when you are standing in 90° heat, 100% humidity, next to 100,000 of your closest friends. In that moment, something takes over and we all become united in an inexplicable bond. Yes, America is in strife right now, but you know what...we already bought the fireworks. 🤷♀️
pretty lib to even be planning to fire them off before Roe was overturned. Also just fire them on like Haiti's independence day or something just for kicks.
Heat index = 54C. Just up the actual temperature at same humidity a few degrees and it'll go to 70s, 80s and even 90s.
welcome to my home
it’s hell on earth and should be destroyed
Oh yeah that happens a couple hours after the daily 2pm thunderstorm that is worse weather than anyone in the UK has ever experienced in their lives
You would think in an area where hardcore thunderstorms happen almost every single day for several months of the year they would do things like “Put powerlines underground where tree branches can’t knock them down”
I’m really wondering if we’re gonna start getting wet bulb warnings from the NWS, because it feels like wet bulb half of days lately. I walk out my front door and am immediately drenched in sweat which straight up doesn’t evaporate. Not sweating at all would be advantageous here because it literally doesn’t work at all. There is no cooling.
You go outside, become wet, and then get more and more wet and out of breath until you re-enter air conditioning and can survive again.
They are barely exaggerating. It’s been that way almost every day since mid-May. Heat index of 110F most days, occasionally more.
I’ve lived here most of my life and this is noticeably the worst summer I’ve ever experienced.
The entire state of Florida should be declared a human health hazard and evacuated at gunpoint.
standing in 90° heat, 100% humidity, next to 100,000 of your closest friends
Sounds like a smart place to be in the middle of a pandemic
But in all seriousness, you know in your heart, Fourth of July fireworks are amazing, especially when you are standing in 90° heat, 100% humidity, next to 100,000 of your closest friends. In that moment, something takes over and we all become united in an inexplicable bond. Yes, America is in strife right now, but you know what…we already bought the fireworks. 🤷♀️
This reads like an article that Felix made up.
It's so fucking stupid how low the bar is for these articles where you can pad 1/3 of the column length with facebook comments
The apology:
“The City of Orlando sincerely regrets the negative impact our words have had on some in our community,” the statement read. “We understand these words offended some of our residents, which was not our intent. We value the freedoms we have in this country and are thankful to the men and women who have fought and continue to fight for those. We take pride in celebrating the 4th of July to express our gratitude to those men and women and honor the country we live in.”
We value the freedoms we have in this country and are thankful to the men and women who have fought and continue to fight for those. We take pride in celebrating the 4th of July to express our gratitude to those men and women and honor the country we live in.”
In bad country... etc. etc. etc.
The freedoms they have in their country to even slightly imply that things might not be ok... oh wait.
