Thanks that helps!

If you're comfortable sharing I'd love to read that retrospective piece.

I don't even know if I really care about any potential complications, I don't think I could hate my body more than I already do tbqh, but I feel too uneducated on HRT to start it also, so maybe that's why I've got these questions? I honestly want to do DIY HRT just on like, principle, even though I know that's kind of a really stupid idea when I have insurance and live in a relatively safe place. I guess its just a paranoia thing, and distrust of doctors/the government not to use it against me

I have been having increasingly frequent days where mental health stuff is a struggle and I don't know how much of that to attribute to dysphoria but its definitely part of it. I think this is something that I will go through with and be better for, if I just start, but its hard to know and very easy socially to just stay in the miserable status quo