The marvel approach, you say?
Gandalf: “there’s a bunch of goblins and a balrog coming”
Aragorn: “balrog, coming here. Like right now?”
Gimli: “oh man, I hate balrogs”
Boromir [overhearing]: “why are you guys talking about balrogs. Please tell me there’s not a balrog coming“
Frodo: “Uhh I’m kinda dealing with a little cave troll situation here guys!!”
Gandalf: Fly, you fools!
Perrin: They fly now?
Meriadoc Brandybuck: THEY FLY NOW
I mean tbf the way Boromir announces the cave troll in that scene has a similar quippiness but it's nowhere near as cringe as any of this.
I think it fits. It's an "oh shit" moment and he's basically saying "oh shit" like they're about to be in hand to hand combat with a 3 ton murder monster and he just needs a second to process that.
idk I'd rather watch those than cape shit. Especially since the ring of power show has been pretty good so far.
Better yet I want this but for the Stephen King universe. It kinda already got started with the Castle Rock series. Imagine some really good prestige TV level productions of The Stand, Salem's Lot, etc. all leading up to an epic Dark tower series that runs seven seasons long to cover the entire saga.
You might prefer it over Cape shit...but I would wager it's most definitely not what Tolkien had in mind, lol.
I agree and have often said though that it's a serious wasted opportunity that there isn't a "cinematic horror universe" of any sort. They had a chance to do one with the Dark Universe trainwreck but of course they wound up just making them all fucking superheroes instead.
I'm really enjoying rings of power from the perspective of it being a new thing.
There was a post I read somewhere about any piece of art being taken and sandblasted down to nothing by corporate guys who think art comes from meeting rooms, and this doesn't feel like that y'know?
Yeah, but like...think of those shows but without the quips and CW teenage angst, and as a larger cinematic universe with hard R ratings. Full on World of Darkness stuff.
lmao RoP is so bad and we're supposed to sympathize with a fascist elf girlboss
Honestly don't care. Fantasy is full of problematic tropes and I really don't care. I don't have to sympathize with anyone.
Evil Uruk: I killed Sauron and we want our land back so we wont starve and die
Good Elf: I will kill all of you, filthy orc (with ukrainian flag pfp)
That would be extremely weird because while Galadriel can be a stone cold bitch and is one of the scariest people in Arda during the third age, she's right; orcs are evil. Every orc is evil. It's their unchangable nature. Maybe they need to emphasize that orcs have devasted and enslaved the entire world multiple times and fully intend to do it again.
Normal Hexbear User: "I can't believe anyone would just casually suggest the deaths of an entire nation of people. So problematic!"
Also NHU: "Death to America"
I can see it being hard to do orcs in a prestige TV series. "Always chaotic evil" race is problematic, to the point where even Tolkien thought so and was never really satisfied with the Orcs being always evil all the time.
I think Shadow of War did an excellent job of portraying Orcs. Some are witty, some are charming, some are scary, some are brave, some are weird. But every one of them is evil to the core. They managed to fill the orcs with so much life and complexity and personality without forgetting that at the end of the day orcs are evil. It was just so well done, i really admire it.
Agree that this kind of tv would work well for Stephen King shit, not so much LOTR tho
That was the plan for like the longest time. But then Hollywood bullshit happened and we got The Dark Tower abomination.
I've given a lot of thought to a Dark Tower series. I've read the books and the graphic novels. I don't think a series that strictly follows the 7+1 book series would work; it's too disjointed and I don't even know how you could put The Drawing of the Three in film.
What I'd love to see is a series that is just about young Roland/Gilead, similar to the graphic novels. Incorporate the stuff from The Gunslinger and Wizard and Glass. That whole post-apocalyptic world of Gilead is really interesting and I think would really translate well to a show.
there was another remake of The Stand as a miniseries in 2020, which kind of slipped under the radar as it was first aired on a now defunct streaming service and wrapped production just before the COVID shut down. good star power. it had "mixed reviews" but i remember being entertained by it.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Stand_(2020_miniseries)
Gandalf clearly had some interesting adventures between when he left Bilbo's house to do research and when he came back
Like, we really need five hours of content about how he got a rock in his shoe or cut his finger on the page of an old book
He actually fought the Witch King's secret necromancer apprentice who was fucking BADASS but was never mentioned ever again
I know, I was making up the kind of stupid scenario they usually come up with for these kinds of pointless prequels
Hey, you got a laugh out of me.
That really is the kind of weird retroactive filler they occasionally cram in somewhere. Star Wars is probably the most guilty of that.
Doing Gandalf in an Andor style procedural/thriller would be kinda fun.
I would watch a mini series of a Gandalf slice of life story. Like "Gandalf goes to Rivendell and gets ridiculously stoned with Elrond and Arwen". "Gandalf drops in on Beorn for tea". "Gandalf meets a friendly archivist and together they do important research".
Also had the same over-designed armour/costumes as Marvel movies.
The LOTR armor was so good. I had some criticisms when I first saw it but twenty years later after seeing the hideous armor in game of thrones and other ips i recognize that the armor in lotr was just beautifully, lovingly constructed and designed. The Elves at the War of the Last Alliance just look so fucking cool. The Gondorians and Rohirrim have great armor that evokes their culture. The different groups of orcs and goblins all have distinctive armor in their own styles. It just looks so good.
I'm willing to give Hobbit a little bit of a pass only because you have 12 dwarves and they need to be somewhat distinct looking.
They took a book smaller than any of the core LotR series and stretched it like taffy until it produced a six hour long schlock.
The need to make each dwarf a viable spin-off character was entirely manufactured.
It wa so bad, and so disapointing. The Hobbit is such a cute, fun little adventure story and they turned it in to this ugly fake epic mess with cringe zionist undertones. Blegh.
One reason why I love '77 cartoon. A tight 78 minutes. Good art. Good music. Good voice acting. It hits all the high notes. Also, admittedly, tons of childhood nostalgia attached to it.
Dwalin & Balin
Kili & Fili
Dori, Nori, & Ori,
Oin & Gloin,
Bifur, Bofur & Bombur,
and Thorin
We really need to showcase how beautiful and unique each and every one of these characters is.
Half of their names he lifted from the Edda, in a setting where almost everyone else has a meaningful name in one of his conlangs.
As glad as I am that we didn't get that, the LOTR show we did get is still really bad 😕
I'm not thrilled by it, but I have to say they got some things right. The Orcs look great. The elves do cool elf tricks to casually remind everyone they're better than you. I do think it's funny that everyone is wondering where Sauron is when Sauron is clearly the prettiest, gayest elf.
I'm sorry if it's haram to talk shit about TV shows when they're not good. Wait just kidding I'm not sorry at all
Whining about moral ambiguity in cinema is just a tired critique of the medium.
I was reading up about the War of Wrath. And there's no way anyone could do it justice, but it'd so fucking cool if they did the First Age.
