Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/Futurology/comments/1195kb7/us_most_young_men_are_single_most_young_women_are/
Halfway down the thread someone mentions that this article is based on a self-reported pew research poll and not any kind of more in-depth study.
Also whoever wrote the article either didn’t understand the actual poll or just outright lied about what the data showed lmao
comment on this:
If you drill down into the actual source of the data, which is a Pew research poll, you find a specific definition of "single". It is not actually "are you [not] dating someone".
In these stats, "single" refers to people who "are not married, living with a partner or in a committed relationship".
The important part here: a committed relationship. This is self-reported by the people being polled.
If two people are in a relationship, one may answer "yes" to this and the other may answer "no", depending on whether they see it as a "committed" relationship.
Thus, there is an interesting explanation for at least part of the data - perhaps young men don't consider themselves "committed" as often.
Combined with the age distribution phenomenon, this likely covers pretty much all of the discrepancy in the stats.
Original Pew Poll: https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2023/02/08/for-valentines-day-5-facts-about-single-americans/ft_2023-02-08_facts-single-americans_01/
Fashy bros love to avoid putting a label on things and then blame women for not being in a relationship lol
Even taking the claim at face value all it would mean is that loads of lesbians are getting into committed relationships with each other rather than with guys
nah it could also mean young women are "dating" men who are outside whatever "young" means here, which is somewhat understandable because of capitalism and having money to do fun things besides sit at home being broke,
Not only lesbians. I'm technically bi, but dating men is a grating, tedious game of spot the red flag, it's almost impossible to find one i'd want to be in a relationship with, and random hookups with men i can't screen beforehand are downright dangerous for me as a trans woman due to the risk of guys getting a case of trans panic and having a violent outburst after they fuck me. So even though i'm sexually attracted to men and have slept with men in the past, i only date women and enbies because as much fun as some guys can be, finding these diamonds in the rough isn't worth the hassle to me when i can just date people who aren't men.
And yes, i'm aware this makes me a kind of "political lesbian" like some proto-terf from the 1970s, the irony isn't lost on me.
:frothingfash: “I DON’T BELIEVE IN LESBIANS, I ONLY BELIEVE IN WOMBSSSSSZZSSSSSSSZ”
That probably makes a small difference, not huge tho, there aren't that much more queer women than men and most bi women are in hetero relationships (because there's a larger dating pool of straight/bi men than queer women). Nothing that would explain a 29% difference.
It's probably a combination of margin of error and a lot of women in their mid/late 20's dating men in their 30's rather than their own age bracket
If you look at singleness for men and women of all ages there's only a 4% difference, which is consistent with there being more women than men and slightly more WLW than MLM relationships
or young women and older men. Singleness is men reduced majorly from 18-29 to 30-49
Also a very large portion of the 18-29 year old dudes that I know are serial cheaters and wouldn't consider themselves "in a committed relationship" even if they had multiple children with the woman they're currently dating.
If VR ever takes off that number will go up a lot more. From my investigations into VRChat it appears that the overall outcome of everyone slowly losing social anxiety and just being around people that completely accept you is that sexuality questioning goes through the roof and a hell of a lot more people are bi.
Isn't that probably something like
Queer people are more likely to be socially anxious because oppression/social shunning -> find refuge in online spaces like VRChat -> selection bias makes VRChat population much more queer than real life
Potentially, but a bi person can go through life without confronting the bisexuality bit at all because it causes them absolutely zero social harm to suppress it. There is an absolutely massive abundance of bisexuality on the platform and I put it down to the atmosphere allowing a lot more guys to end up exploring it who otherwise would not have, especially when you break down some barriers because a bunch of guys just use femme avatars all the time.
my own theory is that in some kind of perfect cultural vacuum most people would probably be some kind of bi and it's interesting to hear some anecdotes supporting it.
my personal anecdote: i'd be fully bi if not for sexual assault trauma but still biromantic. and early online spaces did allow me to explore my proto-transness in a time when there was like zero online community.
I would think that too if not for the reports of some people in vrchat saying that it did the opposite and just confirmed to them completely and totally how straight they are. It's an interesting situation.
I don't know how much sexuality may or may not be socially created and environmentally affected. I personally think it might be environmental but that's kind of controversial given how many people have fought to have the argument that they were born like it. I think it should be accepted and non-prejudiced either way though, environmental or not.
Personally I've seen my sexuality completely change in my lifetime so I can't really get on-board with the idea that it's genetic and immutable.
Pretty sure it's been going up consistently a few % pts every year or two
The obvious solution is all the men just start sleeping with each other.
I am a true MRA.
Has anyone noticed how it is more acceptable for women to have same-sex relationships than men? I will not stand for this imbalance! My goal is to really stick it to the feminists by fighting for the rights of gay men, that'll show those woke SJWs that men can do just fine all by themselves!
Here here we need to normalize dudes fucking their bros platonically. (Only half kidding, if het dudes were more comfortable showing platonic affection with each other I think it would solve a lot of lonliness problems for men.)
If two people are in a relationship, one may answer “yes” to this and the other may answer “no”, depending on whether they see it as a “committed” relationship.
This is either all that's going on here, or such a large factor that it makes any other variable impossible to sort out.
I imagine another factor might be that women are ready for committed relationships earlier and actively seek out (slightly) older men because of that. But I guess the incel mind jumps to chads who live with their 30 girlfriends or some shit.
The optimistic incel mind will probably think "hell yeah I just need to wait until I'm 30 and women will fawn all over me", without looking into any of the reasons why women prefer slightly older men. Pessimistic incels will think "oh damn even less of a chance in the dating world when I get older", and turn that into a self fulfilling prophecy.
I'm not an incel obviously, so I'm just guessing here.
Reality doesn't manifest from your thoughts, but your thoughts can make you take action, which can then change the reality.
In the case of an incel, these pessimistic thoughts may cause them to wallow in self pity, instead of taking actions to better their situation like changing their attitude towards women (the most important one for incels), exercising, eating better, leaving their place of living more often, etc provided they have the means to do so.
That's what I mean by self fulfilling prophecy.
“hypothetically, let’s say this is all women’s fault.”
:debate-me-debate-me::speech-l: .
nah all the women are dating each other. men just need to catch up. :strangelove: WE CANNOT ALLOW A GAY RELATIONSHIP GAP!
Holy shit how are you the first person to say this lol. This is like common knowledge.
This website is actually too gay to understand cishet relationships. Based af from hexbear
It also sucks hard as a man generally attracted to women a few years older, it's like trying to swim upstream in the dating world
to the extent of 34% of men and 68% of women in the 18-29 age range though? i find that to be statistically erroneous. if i'm wrong and it's just a big wide world of older men dating younger less socially experienced women (that are presumably easier to control and abuse?) to the extent that that percentage of these relationships fall outside the bounds of the 18-29 age bin, then i would like to leave this planet immediately.
Yeah it doesn't explain the entire gap, but it does explain some part of it. Average age gap between couples in most western countries is two to three years, so it's more like men in their early 30s dating women in their late 20s. And I'd wager the majority of men in the age 18-29 group in the serious relationship category of the survey are over 24/25. And it's not like the men under 25 are super lonely (though they are more lonely than before), they're probably just not in a serious relationship.
older men dating younger less socially experienced women (that are presumably easier to control and abuse?)
ding ding ding ding ding
It also sucks hard as a man generally attracted to women a few years older, it’s like trying to swim upstream in the dating world
Based on my own experience, after a certain point the only question is whether you're okay with your partner being a divorcee and/or single mother.
This website is actually too gay to understand cishet relationships
Thanks for the compliment.
Better title:
Most young men consider themselves single. Their partners do not.
Who do these idiots think women are dating if most men are single and women are not?
Do they think most women are lesbians or something?
pls don't tell people about the lesbification ray, i already got in so much shit at Antifa HQ after the havannah syndrome gun was leaked.
uhhh women in their 20s dating men in their 30s? fine if it's late and early, pretty sus when it's matt gaetz or leo.
?
large age gaps come with a lot of potential problems and are more likely to have unhealthy imbalances in the relationship.
not automatically, but it's ripe for unhealthy dynamics and 23/35 is definitely weird.
Eh that rule is kinda bs, 24 and 35 is definintely odd and 20 & 26 + 18 & 24 also check out which are almost weirder.
The addendum for it is that it only works when the youngest age is 20
And gets more accurate as the ages go up. I kinda want to modify it so there's some logarithmic constant that's associated with each age as a multiplier
it only works when the youngest age is 20
20 & 26, 28 & 21, 30 & 22 are all icky
I kinda want to modify it
Maybe [age divided by 1.5 plus 5]? Not exactly like what you described but I think it's a little better
https://www.desmos.com/calculator/xlx8ze4pbf
I like it, guess that's just a bit harder calculate in your head
nobody gives you enough significant figures on the age of their significant others so it's better for not tricking yourself.
Fair enough. I think the biggest gap in my family was when my cousin at 24 dated a guy at 31. They ended up getting married but there were definitely whispers in the family about it being weird.
If my 25 year old friend told me they were dating a 37 year old my alarm bells would be going off personally
I didn't realise they weren't counting over 29s
Still seems weird though, they can't all be dating over 30s to the point that it would skew the data like that.
i think we've all spent entirely too much time thinking about what is probably garbage data to begin with but yeah i'm not saying that's the whole reason.
I mean it's a pretty common phenomenon tbh. Dudes tend to fuck around in their 20s, not commit to anything serious and by the time they hit 30 they want to marry up, usually with a woman a few years younger. And a lot of women don't want a serious relationship with someone younger than them.
Not saying it's right, just saying it's what tends to happen a lot in cishet relationships
My friend has offered to essentially dress me up and help make an OLD profile for me. I'm hesitant, mainly because I prefer to wallow in misery, but I'm also tempted to say fuck it because I'm tired of wallowing in misery.
Still, these days no one wants to think about how they can't smell or taste and I prefer not to get sick a trillion times. Not sure how I'll navigate this.
fuck that shit. Online dating is cursed. commodity fetishism incarnate
If you're working too much to meet people in person, you're working too much to maintain a healthy relationship with someone.
Take the offer. I've been trying to start ODL myself but I only have 3 pictures of the required 6
Honestly, the pictures terrify me the most. Perhaps I'm being harsh on myself because others have said I look fine, but I feel like I look like the hyper detailed Spongebob drawings. I hate smiling and rarely does it feel natural lol. But even then, I have no interesting hobbies :biden-alert:
For me the pictures are fine, I just can't muster the energy to find situations to take more
Had to school in a coworker recently and he would take like 10 pictures for his insta or Snapchat every day while I was driving, sitting in the office doing paperwork or we were walking between stuff. Just baffling to me, I haven't taken a picture of myself other than for ID or when it is otherwise demanded of me.
Coworker is pushing 40 for reference. If it was a 20 year old I'd be less baffled.
you don't have to have "interesting hobbies" you just have to have things that you are interested in and the ability to articulate what is interesting about them to others
My first girlfriend broke up with me because (according to her) we were going to college on the opposite ends of the state and there was no reliable transportation for us to regularly see each other. The railway that was supposed to be built to her school never got started :lukashenko-tired:
Original Pew Poll: https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2023/02/08/for-valentines-day-5-facts-about-single-americans/ft_2023-02-08_facts-single-americans_01/
Okay the 34% to 63% difference between women and men 18-29 is pretty extreme. I was expecting it to be something like 48% to 54%.
Also it makes me very suspicious about men over 65 being 8% less single than women that age… :cringe:
Ultimately I don’t view a self-reported Pew survey as being particularly meaningful data. Maybe I’m wrong on that, but I’ve read too many bullshit pop science articles to trust them.
it makes me very suspicious about men over 65 being 8% less single than women that age
men die a lot younger, makes sense that women would start outliving their partners after the mid-60’s.
There are definitely some sleazy old guys out there as well, though.
klein-bottle-brains in this thread, not understanding basic statistics, not inferring that this means, actually, that all women are just in secret lesbian relationships, and that you will die alone.
