It’s def not because most people work 40+ hours and are developing stronger relationships which take up time and then start to raise a family. Leaving them with little time for friends.
I thought it was the lack of housing options for young people and the ways in which the socially necessary labor of raising children is actively punished
It's not burnout from overwork or the inability to have reliable housing on one income.
It's my life story that's keeping me from having a life
I've been an adult for over 10 years, and it's not hard to explain my adult life. I've been lonely, depressed, and occasionally drink all that time. There.
my personality is shitposting communism and smoking :greensicko-laser: dank mids. it wouldn't be that hard to explain to someone. they just mostly wouldn't like it.
Does this person think that when you meet new people you need to explain the friendship gap on your resume?
This is not true for anyone who isn't belligerently stuck in the past. I'm at the point where my friend group is people I've known 3 or less years (started fresh post transition). New friends don't need to know every detail of your life up until that moment and most of it is unimportant
I think another possible interpretation is that you have to explain to everyone you meet that "communism is good actually" and all the necessary build up to that.
I've lived a pretty varied life on a bunch of continents and I can still tl;dr it in a couple of paragraphs
I think what this is about is that this lady expects each and every friend in her life to be this deep, meaningful relationship where you understand each other perfectly, etc. Because that's what she wants so badly.
It's OK to have shallow friendships. People you see a couple times a year, distant friends. Even bar buddies, people you never see outside of a bar. But something tells me she wouldn't stand for any of this.
i think exclusive framing of friendship like the OP is self-fulfilling prophecy---if bar buddy is "acquantance" not "friend" you'll never be friend-ly and never get to be more familiar
whereas the person who is friendly and considers someone they just met a friend will always be reaching friendship with those receptive of it :stalin-smokin:
There are people I've known for years and yet never seen them outside the bar.
And that's OK. It's OK to have friends that aren't deep. I like my bar buddies, they keep me company at the bar. What else am I supposed to do at 10pm on a Tuesday and I'm bored at home?
But if the only thing you want is deep, meaningful experiences where the two of you know every detail about each other like this woman apparently does...well, you're asking too much from life, I think.
Im in that stage now, I'm also feeling it harder to make friends now than before, but I also feel like a more boring person, and other people my age feel boring as well. But of course younger people feel more immature. But it hit me that socializing feels more boring now because everyone has given up at this age. Like we used to dream, now we all got fulltime jobs, a lot of us have been with longterm partners or have even married and had kids, people are starting to settle down and I just find it depressing. The comments about the symptoms of capitalism are all true, but I feel like some of it is just culture and aging. Like we reach a certain age and we're supposed to give up and be boring. But idk, maybe it is all capitalism. I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing now if I had other options.
Every one of those replies seems completely incoherent to me - like I don't understand what any of them are saying. I don't understand what the problem is nor what their analyses are.
