After i cracked, i went through a grieving phase for the girl i hadn't been allowed to be and after that another grieving phase for pre-transition me, a cringe but genuinely nice person that couldn't live on any longer. It's part of the process i guess. It's normal to feel like that for a while and accepting these feelings as legitimate and living through them is part of moving beyond them at some point.
Also, please don't response with "you shouldn't think about what ifs" or something like that. I'm grieving.
After i cracked, i went through a grieving phase for the girl i hadn't been allowed to be and after that another grieving phase for pre-transition me, a cringe but genuinely nice person that couldn't live on any longer. It's part of the process i guess. It's normal to feel like that for a while and accepting these feelings as legitimate and living through them is part of moving beyond them at some point.