Suffering doesn't define being trans. I certainly wouldn't use that word to describe my experience. The closest I would describe as that is when I was going through a similar experience as you of trying to prove to myself how trans I am. Can't say I don't think wonder about that, but the worry about it kinda faded into the background and figure I'll take a step forward at a time and figure out labels later.
I know :kitty-cri: I didn't mean to say it that way. But like, when I hear people talking about their experiences as a child it kinda sounds that way. Like they knew something wasn't right, or they'd never be the gender they wanted to be. And I just don't remember anything like that.
One of my favorite trans songs has the following intro:
I never wanted to be a princess
I never asked anyone to braid my hair
I never asked my mom to buy me things that I saw on the TV marketed towards girls
I never wanted to wear a dress
And I was never obsessed
With the color pink, or sparkling things
Unicorns or fairy wings
Gender never really meant that much to me
And its written by a trans woman. Gender is messy and realistic portrayals of it are harder to explain to cis people who've never had any reason to examine what gender means to them*. Its easier for people to sell the "Emily was adamant she was a girl since she could speak and did all the stereotypical girl things" narrative than to have a more nuanced discussion about how things are for many of us.
*besides women having to be aware of misogyny and threats to them that guys don't have to think about.
Suffering doesn't define being trans. I certainly wouldn't use that word to describe my experience. The closest I would describe as that is when I was going through a similar experience as you of trying to prove to myself how trans I am. Can't say I don't think wonder about that, but the worry about it kinda faded into the background and figure I'll take a step forward at a time and figure out labels later.
I know :kitty-cri: I didn't mean to say it that way. But like, when I hear people talking about their experiences as a child it kinda sounds that way. Like they knew something wasn't right, or they'd never be the gender they wanted to be. And I just don't remember anything like that.
One of my favorite trans songs has the following intro:
And its written by a trans woman. Gender is messy and realistic portrayals of it are harder to explain to cis people who've never had any reason to examine what gender means to them*. Its easier for people to sell the "Emily was adamant she was a girl since she could speak and did all the stereotypical girl things" narrative than to have a more nuanced discussion about how things are for many of us.
*besides women having to be aware of misogyny and threats to them that guys don't have to think about.
:kitty-cri: I'm not crying, you're crying. That really hits home for me.
It would be so much easier to sell to people. I know I don't need to sell it but... It would be nice to have an easily digestible story.
Anyway, thanks for talking with me. It helps a lot.