I'm not sure there's such a thing as "actually trans." It seems like if you wish you were a woman, then... Well... Sounds trans to me.
Are there things you can do related to actual transition? Change your pronouns here? Try saying you are a trans woman instead of wishing you were one?
I think if this just sits as an abstract idea in your head, it's going to be difficult to work through. Putting on the role for a while and seeing how it feels, how you act, what you like and dislike can be really helpful.
It's really okay to be wrong, too. You can look through my post history and see me changing genders like every 15 days. Last time, I said I was a trans girl, but I don't actually think that's true anymore (I think I'm a weirder gender). But... I feel like being in that role was really enlightening. Forgetting my pronouns and then seeing she/her next to my name or having a random internet user refer to me as girl for the first time was like
I guess to sum up, maybe you want to put some of your uncertainty aside and try something? Even if it's just here, it's a safe space, and we'll support you
spoiler for... I guess dysphoria and transphobia? A little bit of sex talk.
Like... I just look down and I don't see a woman. Women aren't hairy and fat. They don't have penises. Women don't have the fantasies I have (even if I wouldn't live them out). I'm living as a man. How can I call myself a woman?
edit: coming back to this comment I realize it filters out a lot of trans women, you all are completely valid, its just how I see myself unfortunately.
But yes, I do need to try it. Thank you :meow-hug:
I'm not sure there's such a thing as "actually trans." It seems like if you wish you were a woman, then... Well... Sounds trans to me.
Are there things you can do related to actual transition? Change your pronouns here? Try saying you are a trans woman instead of wishing you were one?
I think if this just sits as an abstract idea in your head, it's going to be difficult to work through. Putting on the role for a while and seeing how it feels, how you act, what you like and dislike can be really helpful.
It's really okay to be wrong, too. You can look through my post history and see me changing genders like every 15 days. Last time, I said I was a trans girl, but I don't actually think that's true anymore (I think I'm a weirder gender). But... I feel like being in that role was really enlightening. Forgetting my pronouns and then seeing she/her next to my name or having a random internet user refer to me as girl for the first time was like
I guess to sum up, maybe you want to put some of your uncertainty aside and try something? Even if it's just here, it's a safe space, and we'll support you
I tried but I just feel fake :kitty-cri:
spoiler for... I guess dysphoria and transphobia? A little bit of sex talk.
Like... I just look down and I don't see a woman. Women aren't hairy and fat. They don't have penises. Women don't have the fantasies I have (even if I wouldn't live them out). I'm living as a man. How can I call myself a woman?
edit: coming back to this comment I realize it filters out a lot of trans women, you all are completely valid, its just how I see myself unfortunately.
But yes, I do need to try it. Thank you :meow-hug:
Lol
once again "o yea women can actually be all those things. n-not me tho! 
"
Its hard explaining my feelings