"In the debate Sleepy Joe also declared that he wanted to test his skills and stamina against mine on the golf course. Can you believe this? Did you ever see him swing? He's like this. (gestures awkwardly) That's why this evening I'm also -- and this is in honor of you and everyone, 45 thousand people, that's a lot of people -- I'm also officially challenging Crooked Joe to an 18 hole golf match right here on Doral’s Blue Monster, considered one of the greatest tournament golf courses anywhere in the world, one of the great courses of the world. It will be among the most watched sporting events in history, maybe bigger than the Ryder Cup or even the Masters. I will even give Joe Biden 10 strokes aside -- 10 strokes, that's a lot. That means 20 strokes in case you don't play golf. I will give him 10 strokes aside and if he wins I will give the charity of his choice -- ANY CHARITY that he wants -- 1 million dollars."

  • MolotovHalfEmpty [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 months ago

    The only golf match I would ever watch. The golf wouldn't be any more interesting, but the potential for Joe wandering off into the woods, Trump heckling him until they have a pathetic old man fight on the green, or either of them croaking on camera mid-swing would be too high not to tune in.

    • InevitableSwing [none/use name]
      ·
      2 months ago

      a pathetic old man fight on the green

      Oh, please god make that a reality. If it happened - I'd always remember it. If I ever fell into hard times - I'd remember it. If I had insomnia yet again - I'd remember it. In my darkest, unhappiest hours I'd remember that and at least smile if not laugh.

    • the_post_of_tom_joad [any, any]
      ·
      2 months ago

      You just changed my mind on this. If both of them survive 18 holes then they have to do the second debate immediately, on the 18th hole, no prep, no naps

  • Hestia [comrade/them, she/her]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 months ago

    Joe also declared that he wanted to test his skills and stamina against mine

    Did you ever see him swing?

    I will even give Joe Biden 10 strokes aside -- 10 strokes, that's a lot. That means 20 strokes in case you don't play golf. I will give him 10 strokes aside

    crush

  • Nocturne Dragonite@lemmygrad.ml
    ·
    2 months ago

    I hate everything about this dumbfuck election, it's just the same rehashed dumb shit from four years ago. Fuck me I hate this fucking country so goddamn much

  • ZoomeristLeninist [comrade/them, she/her]M
    ·
    edit-2
    2 months ago

    is comedy gold like this worth the life of me and my comrades? no. but it’s nice to be able to laugh at the empire’s descent into full fascism instead of just despairing all the time

    we have two hitlers, and the one who remembers where he is challenges the one with dementia to the fakest, lamest sport

    • CarbonConscious [he/him]
      ·
      2 months ago

      Tbh Biden probably has a better chance that way (still low but better than more debates and a general).

  • D61 [any]
    ·
    2 months ago

    Nobody asked for a Caddyshack 3 to be made. ground-pog

  • buckykat [none/use name]
    ·
    2 months ago

    They should absolutely do a golf match. 18 holes in Florida, no carts allowed. inshallah-script they both collapse with exploded hearts from an afternoon's walk in the sun.