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Please do not get banned over this. You should do whatever helps you feel less bad instead of fighting people here.
yeah, guess I'll just inhale a bunch of copium and delude myself
Literally come back when you stop thinking all women innately and always "look like women", and quit being ridiculous.
Pretty sure you're just depressed and upset which I get, but I'm not gonna sit here and bullshit you. If you think this is "delusion" you haven't been around enough.
I hope you feel better soon.
THEY LITERALLY DO
They don't and you can't even define what you're talking about. Cis women have to shave and do their hair in flattering ways and consider their figures too; if your sisters wake up femme enough that's good for them but as SnowySkyes said, all cis women have to put in work to be seen as women.
whatever, may as well stick my nose in a good shit show (cw for complaining about transphobes)
Oh yea I remember one day my sister didn't shave and everyone thought she was a guy. And if they didn't they they/them'd her like some kind of circus freak.
You know it's different ash. It's not the same. Maybe some cis women have to put in some amount of work to not get misgendered sometimes. It's not the same.
I'd like to say I'm not angry, just sad about my own situation.
edit: this comment was made in a bad state and looking back at it, doesn't accurately communicate how I even feel very well. I could fix but have decided to leave it for context, but hopefully further down thread I explain what I mean better. Anyway I love you all.
Like I say, as long as you're not being shitty I won't be
I am still game to talk.
I don't, actually. Example myself: there have been times in the past that I have bothered to dress up and present femme and still got misgendered, which was crushing. By contrast, the last year or three I've woke up every day and not put on makeup, shaved or done anything else fancy, and it's been over a year since I was misgendered. Like cis women, even!
It's true that a cis woman not putting the work in might not literally correlate to her getting misgendered, but the same is often true of transfemmes. It's not uncommon to hear stories of people on HRT for several years slumming it in sweatpants like I do and still get gendered correctly.
This becomes more complicated without estrogen, because it does a lot of things that the average normo deems "female". At that point you do need to put in more work. But cis women still get misgendered. They are not magical beings.
Also cis people shittily using they/them as a weapon against trans people does not factor into this. And if someone uses they/them due to not knowing somebody's gender, that is generally okay.
EDIT: As an addendum, do transfemmes get misgendered more than cis women? Yeah, absolutely. I'm not trying to draw a direct equivalence. Like I was saying to Tomboymoder though, whether or not someone out in the world uses she/her or he/him is a huge dice roll, one that shakes out between your gender presentation, traits you have that might be considersd masc or femme, your voice, and the person's perceptions of gender. You are relying on the perception of an utter random.
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Don't forget some people have shit eyesight and hearing and legit have no clue what they're looking at
For some people its really if the blob standing before them looks like it has long hair or not
Okay good
Thank you. I could tell you were getting a little frustrated so... yaknow.
After like a decade of hrt? And I have to assume laser or something on your face (because you have said hrt doesn't change facial hair, right? I know if I didn't shave there's not a god damn thing I could do to pass). That is a considerable amount of work, and is not typical for cis women. And I guess I don't know how severe the changes are after 17, but that is still young enough for some bone changes, right? Which is impossible for me to ever get.
I did not mean it that way, sorry for not wording it right. But trans people who don't pass do get they/them'd, regardless of how the person intends it. And it still feels shitty, and still isn't the typical experience of cis women.
I agree a lot with sneak100's comment (which I see you also agree with?), the starting line is very different. "Catching up" is a ton of work. Maybe you are just talking about how it is after putting in a decade of work and I'm looking at the whole thing, decade of prep included.
they literally don't they literally don't they literally don't.
I am sorry, but this is just copium by trans people to try and conflate the two experiences. a women who doesn't do all that will probably be thought of as ugly, maybe, but they aren't gonna be mistaken for a dude.
Am I coping, is that what I'm doing? Do I strike you as coping? It's literally true, you're letting brainworms make you shitty and angry. All you can do is repeat yourself, be serious please.
My supervisor at my last job was a 30something mother of two with short hair, a PCOS sufferer and got misgendered somewhat frequently. You're being ridiculous, getting misgendered is not some unique experience for transfems. You know it isn't.
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I can find dozens of articles of cis women getting harassed cause people think they're men.
If it’s transvestigators in bathrooms I don’t want to hear it
Youre projecting your own personal views of the world onto other peoples experience. I've felt the same way in the past, i often do, but its not good to ruminate on. My own therapist who is a short haired older lesbian often gets misgendered because of her hair for example.
Predicting who is a woman, or allowing other people to determine one's woman-ness is something we should not be giving energy to.
If someone misgenders you, either tell them, or let it slide and move on, they do not determine who you are. Thats a deterministic and fascist point of view.
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saying my sisters can wake up and they just look like women isn't "evangelical themed transphobia brainworms", whatever the fuck that even means, it is literally just true.