WE BEAT THE NEWS MEGA
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autism discussion
Was inspired by all the 'tism talk in the mega to retake the tests on Embrace Autism again. I took them a few years ago, scored in the autistic range, got further confirmation by a psychiatrist who agreed that I probably am autistic, and basically forgot about it. Honestly, out of all my various neurodivergencies, I feel like my autism is the one that causes me the least pain and distress. I despise my OCD and my ADHD, but my autism? My autism is cool.
Anyways, I scored 34 on AQ, 154 on RAADS-R, and to my surprise, 102 on CAT-Q??? I guess I mask a lot less than I thought I did. Maybe that's why I struggle a lot socially, lol. I definitely don't relate to the common autistic experience of following a social "script", though I do try my best to be nice. My experience with trying to socialize with people in-person (especially in school settings) is that I will have a nice, friendly first meeting, and then those people will just... not be friends with me, and become friends with other people instead. I wonder if I just subconsciously radiate those autistic vibes, lol.
autism discussion
My scores are 43 on AQ, 203 on RAADS-R and 130 on CAT-Q, I know I don't mask much as I never really learned to. I don't really have a script either, I just see what happens but conversation would tend to break down unless the other person can carry the conversation.
I'd also find that I don't really speak unless spoken to or I find it difficult to. I have selective mutism, and always get asked if something is wrong if someone isn't used to me just being quiet.
Grew up learning that I was almost diagnosed with autism but "then you grew out of it!"
Realized I was Actually Autistic one night after reading a Promethean: the Created fanfic before work a few years ago.
Eventually embraced being autistic af, and revelling in how much that actually helps me in my current job serving the queer community.
Been wondering about an adult re-diagnosis, but I'm not actually interested in services or accomodations so not sure if it's worth pursuing when all my coworkers kinda get it and I don't see any practical needs.
I've heard that one before ^^ loads of common phrases you'd get just doing some research and hearing anecdotes from people
Autism runs in my family but I never got tested, my nephews both are though they're young
I never had any idea, I just felt like a loner and never had any friends, but it was my wife that told me she thought I was autistic and then doing research for a few years on it was clear to me then.. just one of those where everything kind of lined up, found out I have misophonia and light sensitivity and a load of other co-morbidity lol
Yeah I thought about being tested but I think it wouldn't be worth it in the end.
"Autism runs in my family but I never got tested, my nephews both are though they're young"
I feel that so hard. My dad is like, super autistic in exactly all the ways I am, but it would absolutely destroy my family if I said so.
It's definitely easy to see the traits once you're aware.
What upset me thinking back on it was I took lots of abuse growing up with my family for like sensory stuff or textures and other things to have them completely different with my nephews. I'm glad they get the help they need and accommodations.
At least I dont have to hear the excuses anymore
Honestly basically what's going on in my head rn, though rather than a wife it was my ex and a lot of my friends pointing it out to me, plus a general suspicion I've had for years on account of certain quirks I have. Also your wife is helping give me the 'tism too I guess since her posts are helpful to illuminate it for me.
I did 3 years research too so I'm well versed in a lot of neurodiverse topics lol
But yeah I can see traits in people looking back, I didn't suspect I was autistic even with family clearly showing the signs. It only took a day or so of research for me to acknowledge that I'm autistic, I also score fairly high in the tests.
But also! I work with a lot of undiagnosed autistic people, since I work with so many trans people in general. Some people have asked me for help with getting a diagnosis and accomodations! If anyone has any insights on the process of seeking a diagnosis, or how it helps is receiving accomodations, *please please PLEASE" DM me. I work with multiple clients who might have use for this info.
I could also use this info, especially information on accommodations
Seems like an unironic "Thanks I'm cured" moment lol
Pretty much feel the same (except I don't have OCD afaik, but I don't really care if I do or don't). But I think my autism tends to bother me more for sensory-reasons rather than social-reasons.
I think I scored pretty similarly on the CAT-Q. I think it was the compensation section I particularly scored low on. Ironically, I think its partly because I just avoided looking at people's bodies, so all of the "copying body language from other people/media/etc" was just a big nope. But that might be more of a "avoiding thinking about my own body" because gender stuff than autism-related. Same reason why no forcing eye contact. I also think my masking was more of just minimizing being weird in certain ways rather than trying to appear normal.
Yeah, I also don't really force myself to do eye contact very much. I pretty much don't do eye contact ever unless it happens to pop into my mind and I do it for a few seconds out of politeness. Being autistic definitely caused me to struggle socially, but because I've been very isolated for the past year and a half that hasn't bothered me as much as it might have if I was in school or something (I'm actually going back to college in the fall, so I'll see how things are like then.)
I also rarely watch TV or movies, and when I do it's quite rare that I'll get invested enough to remember specific phrases or behaviors to repeat or whatever. I'm realizing that I think I mask a lot more online than irl? Online I will actually find myself falling into the speech patterns of a space I'm in (for example I used to spend a lot of time on tumblr and my friend and I joke that I have a "tumblr accent".) Irl I kind of just shuffle around as my awkward self.