WE BEAT THE NEWS MEGA
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question
This is a personal question, so feel free to ignore it if it's not appropriate.
Based on your last post, it seemed like the problems you were having were related to communication, how you wanted to spend time together, how much time you wanted to spend together, financial issues, feeling like you were putting in more effort than her, etc.
I'm curious as to how T-blockers factor in to alleviating these things. I'm kind of locking in on the phrases "aggression towards myself and loved ones" and being "under the influence of testosterone" and I'm not sure using hormones to "correct" behavior is the right way to look at it.
Anyway, I'm sorry if I'm off base, and I can delete this, but I'm just trying to look out with the little info I have.
self harm and other dysphoric patterns
A lot of the stuff in that post was me vent dumping because I woke up in pain for the seventh day in a row, feeling overwhelmed, alone, in despair, and left out.
It's less about using a hormone to correct behavior, then me being miserable and how I take that out on people that I care about. Including myself through self harming behaviors. And I'm pretty sure at this point since I've come out of the closet that much of my chronic pain is the tension of living with gender incongruence for four decades. Trying to hide my queerness, even from myself.
Like a much better post would have been I've been in pain for 7 days and am feeling scared and overwhelmed, that this is hopeless. Because that's what I was actually feeling and I was alone and blamed it all on her.
And when we did talk through things, and talk about safety in the relationship, we did find emotional intimacy. And a lot of my physical tension and pain subsided with the anger. When I could just sit in my fears and insecurities and tell myself I am feeling scared.
I don't think testosterone is helping me in that regard.
spoiler
I'm glad you were able to work it out with her. It sounded pretty bad
I'm also glad that you're working through these feelings and growing.
You should be on T-blockers because it will help you achieve your gender identity, but I think you'll really bloom by following the line you laid out above.
Wishing you two a happy year as you start transition 🌹
Thanks!
spoiler
I don't know what to say but sh is terrible, I hope hrt/t blockers help you :meow-hug:
And it's not easy for either me or my gf.
And thanks for the support trans friends!