her,,, expolde

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  • lilypad [she/her, null/void]
    ·
    2 months ago
    dysphoria

    I don't think I want my beard back, but I do want a face that I can like. I feel very sad right now.

    I wish I had had the wherewithal and capacity to recognize this when I shaved my beard off the first time. I had several rounds of shaving and growing my beard back out before I realized that the reason I had the beard wasnt because I liked it, but because I hated how my face looked and it covered up some parts I didnt (and in some ways still dont) like. I grew the beard in the first place because I didnt care how I looked; I hated my face regardless, and it was easier to have a beard than shave regularly, so teenage me decided to just go with a beard.

    After a year and a half on HRT, I'm happier with my face. There are still aspects of it that I dont like, but overall it is far, far more comfortable for me than before. The changes came quickly too; I was happier with my face after about 6 months on HRT.

    • JohnBrownsBussy2 [she/her, they/them]
      ·
      2 months ago
      dysphoria

      I'm thinking about what I want to do. I don't think my beard ever looked great. It was pretty thin in parts, and I could never get it even at the base or with the goatee/mustache. It just became the default, and honestly I haven't even thought about shaving it or what I'd look like without it until recently. I definitely want to keep it shaved for a while, and I definitely don't like the 5 'o clock shadow.