Hi comrades, want to give you all an informal update on the discussions around the site's misogyny problems that've been happening over the last several days. I wanna make sure you know that the admin/mod team has seen all of that discourse and we've been actively discussing solutions in the matrix mod chat. We're taking this shit very seriously and acknowledge that we haven't used a heavy enough hand on misogynistic rhetoric. As some of you saw we nuked that cheating thread from a couple weeks ago and handed out temp bans to the most egregious offenders. Idk how that was allowed to run it's course but we apologize for that oversight. We're going to do better.

We've come up with some ideas for how to improve this part of the site culture and we want to get suggestions from y'all as well, since the alarm was sounded on this by our beautiful c/traa posters to begin with. Our ideas so far include:

  1. A zero-tolerance policy towards any even remotely misogynistic/patriarchal posts or comments, as too much has slipped through the cracks on that, establishing a clear protocol for bans for violating rules against misogyny, and ideally tracking repeat offenders in a way that makes deciding a course of action easy when they reoffend.

  2. Uphold TC69 thought by starting up a book club (and hopefully more to follow) on feminist theory and encouraging mass participation, particularly from the he/him's on the site. "The Will to Change" by bell hooks has been suggested by multiple people as a great starting point but please feel free to suggest any other works.

  3. Relaunching /c/menby with a trusted educated mod team and a specific focus on countering mainstream narratives about masculinity, relationships and sex that breed reactionary, patriarchal attitudes

  4. Encouraging [namely femme] participation in /c/womenby and taking steps to revitalize that sub as an excellent source of discussion on feminism and intersectionality

  5. Holding another mod drive to get more folks into mod positions in our communities who can help weed out reactionary attitudes

  6. Encouraging users to use the report button often on any post that seems even remotely sus, with the promise that no one's going to be punished for "report abuse" for reporting posts in obvious good faith

Please let me know your thoughts on the above or any other ideas you have for making the site better, safer and more inclusive for our femme comrades. Once we've fully hammered out plans and updated policy we plan to make an announcement post highlighting these changes for the whole userbase. Thank you all for being here and being who you are feminism trans-heart

  • combat_doomerism [he/him]
    ·
    2 days ago

    it isnt anyone elses place to disturb their relationship

    i dont think this is the correct take away. the issue is that men are way more likely to snap and seriously harm or even kill their partner in this kind of scenario, especially if they are already abusive in some way, so you should do some investigating first before you put someone at risk like that

    • sewer_rat_420 [he/him, any]
      ·
      2 days ago

      And also, we are quick to say "a husband has the right to know" without realizing that very statement upholds patriarchy and the husbands ownership of his wife

      • ItalianMessiah [he/him]
        ·
        2 days ago

        A wife also has the right to know if her husband is cheating. It's not about ownership, it's about STDs. Everyone is entitled to make informed decisions about who they have sex with.

        I know situations can be complex but safe sex and informed consent is the backbone of the LGBTQ+ community and I don't think we should throw it away to get some extra dunks.

        • SerLava [he/him]
          ·
          2 days ago

          Can't really know if it's safe honestly- you'd have to know the guy very well, but then this type of thing wouldn't happen if you knew him well. I would just leave it be and break things off.

          • combat_doomerism [he/him]
            ·
            edit-2
            2 days ago

            thinking about it not the place to re-litigate this we've talked about it enough I think.

        • keepcarrot [she/her]
          ·
          2 days ago

          Idk if this is the right thread to relitigate this point of view >.>

          • RomCom1989 [he/him, any]
            ·
            2 days ago

            Well,I did not agree with how it was handled even when making that initial comment,but I worded it very poorly

            Please inform me if I need to delete the comment in case it ends up creating any unneeded discourse

    • sewer_rat_420 [he/him, any]
      ·
      2 days ago

      I guess i mean, there is likely some other stuff going on in their relationship, but now the dynamic has been disturbed in a way to be biased to the husband. Now he is wronged, so whether he is physically abusive, or uses it to get off of playing child support, or whatever other outcome it has tipped the scales towards him more then they already are for a man.