Hi comrades, want to give you all an informal update on the discussions around the site's misogyny problems that've been happening over the last several days. I wanna make sure you know that the admin/mod team has seen all of that discourse and we've been actively discussing solutions in the matrix mod chat. We're taking this shit very seriously and acknowledge that we haven't used a heavy enough hand on misogynistic rhetoric. As some of you saw we nuked that cheating thread from a couple weeks ago and handed out temp bans to the most egregious offenders. Idk how that was allowed to run it's course but we apologize for that oversight. We're going to do better.
We've come up with some ideas for how to improve this part of the site culture and we want to get suggestions from y'all as well, since the alarm was sounded on this by our beautiful c/traa posters to begin with. Our ideas so far include:
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A zero-tolerance policy towards any even remotely misogynistic/patriarchal posts or comments, as too much has slipped through the cracks on that, establishing a clear protocol for bans for violating rules against misogyny, and ideally tracking repeat offenders in a way that makes deciding a course of action easy when they reoffend.
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Uphold TC69 thought by starting up a book club (and hopefully more to follow) on feminist theory and encouraging mass participation, particularly from the he/him's on the site. "The Will to Change" by bell hooks has been suggested by multiple people as a great starting point but please feel free to suggest any other works.
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Relaunching /c/menby with a trusted educated mod team and a specific focus on countering mainstream narratives about masculinity, relationships and sex that breed reactionary, patriarchal attitudes
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Encouraging [namely femme] participation in /c/womenby and taking steps to revitalize that sub as an excellent source of discussion on feminism and intersectionality
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Holding another mod drive to get more folks into mod positions in our communities who can help weed out reactionary attitudes
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Encouraging users to use the report button often on any post that seems even remotely sus, with the promise that no one's going to be punished for "report abuse" for reporting posts in obvious good faith
Please let me know your thoughts on the above or any other ideas you have for making the site better, safer and more inclusive for our femme comrades. Once we've fully hammered out plans and updated policy we plan to make an announcement post highlighting these changes for the whole userbase. Thank you all for being here and being who you are
What fucking happened?
Tl;Dr: post about some cishet fella in the sub, complaining that the first time he's fallen in love in years, it turns out to be a woman in a relationship which she was hiding from him while they were dating. He found out seeing her with her partner in a gas station, and immediately went and told the man that his girl has been cheating with him without OP knowing.
Some people got concerned about the physical danger that this poses to the woman (you never know why she may have been cheating or whether her partner is abusive), and many cishet users disregarded this and piled up on the woman.
If I'm missing something, please add it
Damn it turned into a reddit thread basically
it sure did
Removed by mod
In my opinion, instead of a blurted confession out of nowhere to the husband, it would be better for everyone involved to ask the wife about the situation with her husband in case of abuse or other possible problems (financial reliance, etc.) and offer her the chance to say it herself in case it's safe to do so, or to tell it in another fashion that she considers safe if she wants to say it but she fears for her safety (e.g. through a note or a call or a text while she's away from him). I'm not an expert though, and I'm not trying to make assumptions about the situation described above in particular, I'm sure there are alternatives I'm missing.
obviously it's not the time or place to be doing this, but it's not like you're the first one