Ahh yes. The missing element that has been holding back the Russian military efforts: a fat old man who pretends to be tough on camera.
My favorite Steven Seagal story is that he'd tell people that when he was living in Japan he had to DEFEND his father-in-law's dojo from YAKUZA GANGSTERS. His ex wife responded to that by saying it was total bullshit and all he did was yell at some drunk dudes who might not even been Yakuza. Pathological liar. Move over failsons. We've got failsons-in-law now.
Maybe he wasn't lying, he's just delusional and actually thought he was defending the dojo from yakuza members
My "favorite" Steven Seagal story is that time he drove a tank through somebody's house and killed their dog while LARPing as a cop
Easy - Success: President Putin, I am ready. Send me to the frontline.
Legendary - Failure: Wait, what?Russia’s finally unleashing their secret weapon. Ukraine is doomed.
Special Military Operation, is the Steven Seagal, mega blockbuster hit movie, where he showed the world, that 70 year old washed up fake martial artists can get detonated by a Ukrainian drone just like an 18 year old.
PSA: it's pronounced sea-gull, like the bird that steals your French fries on the beach. He didn't like it so he started pronouncing it different.
The main scene I remember from under siege is the woman jumping out of the cake.
well im sorry to hear that, because im gonna snatch every ukrainian birthday
Movie idea: A rag tag trio, consisting of Segal, Kadyrov, and the Ghost of Prigo are sent to the frontline in Ukraine. Through a comical prank by Putin, all three are assigned equal positions in a brigade of three. The film follows these three soldiers as they navigate a new world and fall into a slapstick routine none of them were aware of creating. Upon being seen by a local villager, they realized that their banter would work well as a podcast. How will these soldiers balance their duty to their country, their narcissism, and the technical difficulties of recording high quality audio in the field?
Im surprised we haven't gotten a dramedy about war reporters doing podcasting from the field.
"OK everyone, this episode is sponsored by HOLY SHIT WHAT WAS THAT!?!?
.....well, uhh....
....THAT just happened."
Cue laugh track, everybody claps.
Steven Segal single handedly conquers all of Europe with his love taps
Too bad, Gene LeBell is already gone, or he could just choke out Seagal again.
"Mr. Putin is helping me find my relevance."
