And I'm talking about natural causes. Like him just keeling over from being the big moist macburger lover he is

  • AssortedBiscuits [they/them]
    ·
    4 hours ago

    Blue MAGA would performatively scold leftists for celebrating his death while secretly breathing a sigh of relief. Red MAGA would think he got poisoned by the CIA and shoot up a poll booth or something.

  • Pentacat [he/him]
    ·
    14 hours ago

    He would still beat KDolph in the electoral college.

  • Sulvor [he/him, undecided]
    ·
    17 hours ago

    None of his followers would believe it was natural causes and he would be worshipped as a martyr as people took to the streets to commit hate crimes in his name.

    lisan-al-gaib

    • SadArtemis [she/her]
      ·
      14 hours ago

      On one hand agreed, on the other hand Anglos are just looking for any excuse to commit hate crimes imo. If it destabilizes the Great Satan I say fingers crossed- hopefully the energies can be focused on cracKKKer and bourgeois infighting instead. Balkanize balkanize balkanize timmy-pray

      • Sulvor [he/him, undecided]
        ·
        edit-2
        12 hours ago

        Yeah the Dune metaphor works pretty well for Trump for a few reasons. Trump and the GOP have manipulated white supremacy and adjacent forces in America to suit their ends. Trump has been touted as a prophet and messiah among the Evangelicals and neo-Nazis who want him to go way more mask-off fascist and racist than he was in the beginning, and he keeps feeding into it to keep their support.

        Paul is seen as a messiah among the Fremen and he uses that position to meet his own desire for revenge. However, between the first and second books, the Fremen go beyond what he needed them for and basically genocide an entire galaxy in their religious zeal.

  • SSJ3Marx [he/him]
    ·
    18 hours ago

    I also want to add that I think that once Trump kicks it the Republican party is going to start a civil war on itself between the QAnoners, the Peter Thiel cult, and the wave of former "never Trump" types in the suburbs who have gone to the Dems but will go right back at the earliest opportunity. Vance wins the election, then will try to unite the factions and fail spectacularly, and people will be calling him a lame duck six months into his term. The R's won't be able to unite in 2028 so the Dems will have to work extra hard to throw that election, but in the 2030s I think Thiel will win out by converting a critical mass of QAnoners into true believers who think that Chat GPT's latest model is a general artificial intelligence and the former never Trumpers won't have any problem with the party being run by right wing tech bros.

  • adultswim_antifa [he/him]
    ·
    17 hours ago

    Obviously they will believe he is still alive and that he won the 2024 election (and 2020).

  • marxisthayaca [he/him,they/them]
    ·
    17 hours ago

    I would be banned from family chat for the amount of times I’d immitate “Donald Trump burning in hell” by audio memo

  • the_post_of_tom_joad [any, any]
    ·
    edit-2
    20 hours ago

    It would be fantastic if he died on the podium mid-speech for the memes n gifs. I think a stroke would be funniest since we wouldn't really be able to tell

    • InevitableSwing [none/use name]
      ·
      17 hours ago

      I think a stroke would be funniest

      Kamala leftist shark-sharka-shark-shark-shark Marxist shark-shark-shark-shark-sharka-shark baby shark [Dies]

        • InevitableSwing [none/use name]
          ·
          17 hours ago

          A Redd Foxx moment. He was a standup comedian and he had the role as the father on the 1970s sitcom Sanford and Son. One of his gags was to pretend he was having a heart attack.

          Redd Foxx

          Death

          Foxx did his scripted part of the scene (walking across the back of a chair) while being livid. However, he fell to the floor immediately after doing so. Reese said that nobody initially suspected anything was wrong. Foxx, after all, was famous for having Fred Sanford fake heart attacks on Sanford and Son and was particularly skilled at pratfalls. Reese went to the floor when Foxx did not immediately rise and heard him say "get my wife" twice. Reese called for paramedics.

          According to Joshua Rich at Entertainment Weekly: "It was an end so ironic that for a brief moment castmates figured Foxx–whose 1970s TV character often faked coronaries–was kidding when he grabbed a chair and fell to the floor."

  • chungusamonugs [he/him]
    ·
    20 hours ago

    I'll say kamala beats Vance. Dudes a fucking weiner and the only charisma he has is saying that Trump picked him.

    The republican party has essentially spent 10 years doing nothing but convincing their base that Trump is the only person who can do anything and nothing can get done without him. They will find another hog to cult of personality, but the shake up after his death will be hilarious.

    • ped_xing [he/him]
      ·
      edit-2
      20 hours ago

      That sliver of never-Trumpers would do it at this point and Trumpers will show up just to fill in the bubble next to his name one last time. Democrats blame Kamala's dad and purge everyone with based relatives. pete in shambles.

  • SSJ3Marx [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    20 hours ago

    JD Vance is dreaming of this every hour on the hour.

  • LocalOaf [they/them]
    ·
    20 hours ago

    mccrucified

    He becomes the occluded Mahdi to sicko-queer people and didn't really die and is going to return on January 17th or the 20th on the innaguration to do the storm bigly, believe me

    frothingfash ⛈️ passion mypillow-stare

    • CarmineCatboy2 [he/him]
      ·
      edit-2
      18 hours ago

      so you're saying trump can displace the totally alive 145 yo kennedy and become the truest imam

      • LocalOaf [they/them]
        ·
        17 hours ago

        I'm still wanting to know more about what the Q dude that has the eagle in Dallas's deal was when all the -48 cultists went there

        You don't have to hand it to them by any means, but the Q cranks have some fascinating characters

  • LENINSGHOSTFACEKILLA [he/him]
    ·
    21 hours ago

    I'm honestly not sure if this would help Vance or hurt him, but I do know the conspiracy theories would be hilarious.

    • SpiderFarmer [he/him]
      ·
      18 hours ago

      So instead of sacrificing psykers to the Astronomicon we're saccing incels?