don't fucking lecture me by saying that i "don't need others to validate me since i'm already a woman" or that "i don't ACTUALLY need others to validate/affirm me, i can do it myself".
like yes i can do that but it fucking hits different when someone else says that. especially if it's someone close to you.
but apparently it's too hard for some people to tell a trans woman in need that they'll "always be a woman". even if you explicitly fucking request that. even if that someone is your partner who also happens to be a trans woman.
apparently according to her i don't need anyone else "to tell me that" because "i'm already a woman"
i hate this constant dismissal of what i need. just tell me what i want and i'll get out of your fucking way.
makes me wonder what's the point of having friends/partners even is when you can't even depend on rely on others and ALWAYS GOTTA FUCKING DO EVERYTHING YOURSELF to get what you want
its really normal to ask for validation/affirmation,,, and youre super valid to ask for it. kinda disgusting you got shamed for it
thanks 🥺👉👈💖🏳️⚧️
dunno why something as simple as this is so difficult for some people to just say
for context i experienced transphobia in an online space somewhere and it really would've helped.
sorry for being a fucking attention seeker.
sorry for being a fucking attention seeker.
Our shameful attention seeking
Their valid trauma posting
You're valid, ma'am. Humans have psychological needs and people act like it doesn't matter when they have never been wanting of their own needs.
yeah... consequences of frequently being called an "attention seeker" back when i was a minor for the crimes of opening up to others. as a result now i live with worrying if i'm bothering others by opening up or expressing my psychological needs.
wish others understood it like you do because come on, we're not fucking robotic tin cans. we're people with emotions. fuck this toxic individualistic nonsense where you get told that "It's nOT otHEr PeOPleS' job" to validate or comfort you 😒
because come on, we're not fucking robotic tin cans. we're people with emotions. fuck this toxic individualistic nonsense where you get told that "It's nOT otHEr PeOPleS' job" to validate or comfort you
Peak liberalism, swallowing my head
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is it too much to ask to want others to validate/affirm you
Hardly. External recognition as what you feel you are, even if just from one person, can be the foundation of the identity's formation/coalescence. It doesn't make you lesser; especially not for vocalizing that need.
no, it's not too much and it sounds like your partner acted carelessly, and that's putting it generously. it's verging on a toxic individualism. i would try to make it clear to her what she did and how it made you feel (dismissed, frustrated etc.) you may have done that already but just a warning, failure to communicate this now could make it a bigger issue down the line - building resentment, etc. especially if this is a pattern of behavior which it sounds like it might be, you gotta make that clear to her and underline that it's a problem.
above all I'm sorry you were treated that way. your feelings of dismissal and frustration are completely valid. and it should ALWAYS be ok to ask a partner for validation even for little things. it's a total bare minimum expectation in my view.
