DEMOS (Dialogovaya Edinaya Mobilnaya Operatsionnaya Sistema: Russian: Диалоговая Единая Мобильная Операционная Система, ДЕМОС, lit. 'Interactive Unified Portable Operating System') is a Unix-like operating system developed in the Soviet Union. It is derived from Berkeley Software Distribution (BSD) Unix.
It's development was initiated in the Kurchatov Institute of Atomic Energy in Moscow in 1982, and development continued in cooperation from other institutes, and commercialized by DEMOS Co-operative which employed most key contributors to DEMOS and to its earlier alternative, MNOS (a clone of Version 6 Unix). MNOS and DEMOS version 1.x were gradually merged from 1986 until 1990, leaving the joint OS, DEMOS version 2.x, with support for different Cyrillic script character encoding (charsets) (KOI-8 and U-code, used in DEMOS 1 and MNOS, respectively).
Initially it was developed for SM-4 (a PDP-11/40 clone) and SM-1600. Later it was ported to Elektronika-1082, BESM, ES EVM, clones of VAX-11 (SM-1700), and several other platforms, including PC/XT, Elektronika-85 (a clone of DEC Professional), and several Motorola 68020-based microcomputers.
The development of DEMOS effectively ceased in 1991, when the second project of the DEMOS team, RELCOM, took priority.
An archive of the DEMOS source code can found here: https://github.com/bpr97050/DEMOS There's some interesting comments and mailing list archives in that repository as well. :)
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As a reminder, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
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Brain lore dump binary thinking/depression?
As much as I like the idea of falling asleep to music I need the time to have a dialogue in my head to think. I know it's a little weird but the two main voices in my mind are a bit of roles I assign Quique (masc) Kiki( femme). Probably just me switching back and forth like playing ping pong with myself but my best thinking gets done like that. It helps explain the contradictory emotions I feel by assigning them to one side or the other and I gotta manage my best making both happy.
I also stop using I and go by we for a while, instinct really it's weird. All of this might me coping from loneliness since I got no one to talk to most of the time but as far as coping mechanism go it's easily on of my more healthy ones I've tried. Maybe all of this is just my imagination but so far it's helped me get out of the worst of my depression the ability to just
myself and get a quick prep talk through the worst of the negative self talk.A capybara's top speed is 20 mph, please remember this fact it could save your life.
I feel like shit but I got a lot done today
The
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dialectic is in motionThe best thing about losing weight is being able to sit cross legged in unconventional ways I haven’t been able to since my early 20s
i was last thin when i was like 4,so it was a very cool surprise to not have the belly in the way
Going through old comments on stuff like youtube, SCP wiki watching as more and more profile pics put up a trans flag or have trans pride colours - the harvest is coming, more and more nya ha ha... you fool, you posted in the video that makes you trans 8 years ago it's only a matter of time
doomerism
does hormones and laser even do anything?
I thought I’d see more of a difference for how long I’ve been doing both.
I see so many trans girls that just look like normal girls (even if you can still kind of tell they are trans) is it too much to ask for for myself?Will laser actually eventually get rid of all my facial hair?
Will hormones do more eventually? Is it cuz I’ve been losing weight so not as much fat redistributes?
Do all the girls who pass just rely on makeup? That’s the only thing I can think of to cope, but o don’t know what I will do if I try makeup and still don’t pass.I fear my gf is tying her life to mine and I am destined to just be miserable forever.
Will laser actually eventually get rid of all my facial hair?
Probably not quite all of it. It's a good idea to go through one full course of treatments and then do electrolysis to mop up the rest, if you can afford it and/or handle the pain. Electrolysis is weird, though, because they sort of do it in strips to minimize skin damage -- so after your first appointment, you're going to come out of it with just one section done. It also can take multiple passes just because of how slowly some of the hairs grow in before they're permanently zapped.
Meanwhile, I'm still boymoding in public and absolutely do not think I pass as femme, but I keep getting "ma'am-ed" regardless. I'm not sure how to feel about that. I'm pretty sure the local yokels have just never seen someone with long hair and a deep voice in a Slayer t-shirt before. It's culture shock to them
Anyway, hang in there -- it gets better, and everyone progresses at different rates, so don't sweat it. You've got this.
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Yes, laser and hrt works. You do need body fat for it to be redistributed. It can only do so much redistribution without body fat. One of the biggest tools for passing is voice training and yes it's a pain and takes a long time, it's also the only thing that doesn't rely on lucky genetics and you will get a more femme voice by sheer effort (and sometimes coaching, but you can do it on your own too). You've also been doing HRT for a while, yeah? Eventually the big changes you get from the first 2 years slow down. Stuff still changes but they don't come as fast and hard and those first few years
For you, specifically, you do seem unnecessarily harsh with critiquing yourself. You do seem to discount the times you've passed. You do have some actual advantages, you are short(er) for example - I know we tease, but your height is a genuine physical advantage you have. Your personal issues with passing seem way more tied up with what's going on in your head rather than anything physically. I mean, I guess you can only take it with a grain of salt because I've never actually seen you just read some posts.
I would encourage you to take these things that might be bothering you to a therapist (ideally one who works well with trans people) if you can afford it. I swear these thought patterns can be worked through and we can get you to a place where you see a woman when you look in a mirror like so many other people do when they see you.
I've never worn makeup in my life and I am stealth, and Im friends with other trans women who pass without makeup as well. HRT really does work, but honestly, passing is about way more than just HRT or lazer or makeup, or behaviors, or voice training. It's a skill and the only way to get better at it is to do it and do it for long periods of time. Trying your best to pass through all those methods above at all times for long periods of times WILL yield results, much more than just doing HRT and waiting.
The only constant in this world is change. I wish you peace.
storybook sonic still top fave of mine, he'll save the day like usual but he'll also just sit down with you and be an emotional support. The character is 15 or something but it doesn't take that as a cue to just make him immature. like he does deal with things maybe out of his element but he's steadfast in his optimism and support.Got plenty of sleep last night, still feel miserable today. At least none of my dreams got remembered, so if there was something upsetting in there
sh
20 days clean. Still struggling a lot with urges. It feels very close in a way that's hard to describe.
I feel so hopeless, about everything. This gives me one thought. Not worth talking about.
I don't know why my brain does this. Mental illness ig.
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maybe its not mental illness, and wanting to sh/kms is just a normal, rational reaction to what is happening. Neither option is super comforting.
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Self harm and killing yourself are definitely not the outcomes we want. Rational... well what is a rational response, let's say it's an understandable response. I'm very proud of you for getting to 20 days!
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Its not what I want either. Sorry. Just a lot of thoughts. Its all very hard for me.
Thank you, its been difficult. I really appreciate your support.
Voice training and realizing that I have amazing control of the muscles I need already due to years of singing. The thing is... it's with singing. I can't for the life of me control them while speaking (yet). I actually got into it on the way to work this morning, and was able to speak with a pretty good fem voice, but on the way back I just couldn't get it for the whole commute.
I will master this, I will. Am I, a self-described vocalist, really going to let speaking (vocals) get the best of me? NO
Alternatively, be the trans girl that has a sing-song voice all the time 🎶
Haha I'm the total opposite. I made the mistake of going to karaoke with some friends (some of whom I wasn't out as trans with) and I had to chose between sounding like a dying vulture but continuing to pass, or singing okay but outing myself... I chose the dying vulture XD
So I'm going to a hair salon tomorrow. It'll be a day of firsts for me. It'll be the first time I've presented as fem in public somewhere other than at my therapists. It'll be my first time really doing anything fem in public. I'm stressed but excited. So to cope I'm trying on a bunch of different outfits right now to see what I like. I think I've settled on an outfit comprised of a gray teeshirt under a cute orange cardigan. I'm trying to decide if I should do the high waisted jeans I have, or a cute orange hippy skirt I like. I could do the skirt over the jeans or leggings if it stays cold and rainy like today. Decisions decisions
trans mega, home... least it was until i started saying pee pee every day.
Alright, my second pronoun slot is now for sale! I'm doing this to expand my pronoun usage, also just feel like I should have another set of pronouns for the NB times. So, throw them at me. Throw pronouns you like at me, I literally just want to try whatever you all think might suit me. Could also just go back to fae/faer but I've been on a strictly she/her rampage right now and I'm not in the proper state of mind to judge myself right now. A carousel is circular, so I will be eventually
.I've put the three pronoun sets I've used in the past (I ran comrade/them or they/them on an old account).
Upvote the pronouns to pick them, or comment them if they aren't already there. I will turn on upvote view in 24 hours to see the results. If you never want to see something like this again, send me threatening DMs, and I will never do this again
TL;DR, pronouns are fun, pick pronouns with upvote or add new ones in comments please
Normal? What is normal? When I look around I see hundreds of ugly, strange, unique, and in a way mysteriously beautiful faces. My brain doesn’t like that everyone is so utterly imperfect, but my perfect image from which people deviate is not real. We are all disgusting humans and that’s ok. In the words of Eminem “we ain’t nothin but mammals.”
