hi so i forgot to message the person who was next (sorry HelltakerHomosexual) so i'm just gonna talk about a thing i like
Shadow the Hedgehog is a character that appears in the Sonic the Hedgehog series. Characterized by his sharp wit and strong sense of purpose, Shadow is a recurrent arch-rival of Sonic the Hedgehog, whom he resembles and shares many abilities. He is a major supporter of trans people, as evidenced by his catchphrase, "Trans people are cool!"
^ this is all from the wiki btw
I like Shadow a lot. His first appearance in the series is in a game where him and Sonic are both fighting the government and destroying these multi-million dollar gunships. Sonic is doing it because he loves communism but Shadow is doing it because he has a blood feud against G.U.N., who are like the global government death squads because they killed this girl, Maria, who he was best friends with.
Maria basically had an incurable illness that Eggman's grandpa was trying to cure by creating an immortal lifeform, which is actually how Shadow was born. Also, Shadow has a copy of Maria's soul I guess? Seriously, look it up. I'm reading all this shit for the first time right now and that sounds kinda trans to me.
Anyway, she gets shot by the troops and despite Maria telling Shadow to be normal and happy, Eggman's grandpa is pissed off about it so he starts psyopping Shadow into wanting to kill everyone on Earth. Eggman's grandpa successfully does the psyop and locks Shadow away until Eggman finds and releases him.
With his newfound power, Shadow starts being evil and helping Eggman find the Chaos Emeralds because he sees him piss on the moon or something. This goes on for a while until he gets back on the space station and remembers what Maria said, deciding to finally be normal and happy.
He switches up, goes Hyper Shadow and helps Sonic defeat the Biolizard which is basically what it sounds like: a giant lizard who wears the space station like a little jacket and shoots lasers from his mouth. Also, that thing was the prototype Ultimate Lifeform before they decided on the optimal form of existence: a little bipedal anthro hedgehog.
So they beat this lizard up, I guess it dies and then the space station is hurtling toward the Earth. Shadow takes a Chaos Emerald and, with the help of Sonic, does one last Chaos Control on the space station, returning it to a stable altitude. Sonic finds himself back on the space station as he flies into the atmosphere. After this, a big semi-translucent Shadow appears on top of the Earth and everyone can see it.
Why would I lie about that? Here it is.
Anyway, a bunch of shit happens after that but I don't care about it. If someone else wants to talk about Shadow the Hedgehog (2005) feel free. What I really wrote this out to justify talking about is the moon in Sonic games. Like I said before, the moon gets pissed on and destroyed with the help of Shadow,
and then in the next game it's just fine but evil now(???)
and after THAT it's not evil anymore but it's fully intact:
What the fuck? Why? How? I watched it get blown up. Who put the moon back together? Anyway, we're getting in the weeds here. Welcome to the mega.
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Any time, I'm glad I can be helpful! It legitimately makes going through all of it worth it if I can help others in some way.
Being out of touch with your own emotions is super relatable, I've been there... It's so good to be able to feel properly, even if that means crying a lot, imo, I know this feeling. I'm glad you are trying to stop repressing!!
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Yeah, i know what you mean. My current therapist is also ND, so that helps a bit, she's pretty hyper-perceptive of facial expressions and seems to know how to get past all my masking layers sometimes which is really what I needed. I was the same as you, felt like I was just chatting and paying a ton of money just for someone to talk to...
I describe myself as "probably autistic" but there's definitely a lot of variation in how that appears. I have been diagnosed ADHD but am unmedicated currently (which is probably not too smart considering I have a FT job) but score rather high on clinical assessments for autism and relate a lot to the experiences I read about in several books on the subject.
Re. the vibes people wanna see, I am not sure if this is what you mean but this is a struggle I've had that maybe you can relate to: I, previously, would be so hyperfocused on wanting people to like me that I'd lose track of my own emotions and feelings, end up going along with things I shouldn't have because other people wanted something of me etc. I get swept up in other peoples' enthusiasm pretty easily and it can lead to oopsies, I'm still working on this.
Yeah, my therapist is trained in IFST, so that's how we tend to approach things. You've probably read more about it than I have if you're reading a book on it, but my impression is that all people are systems and we have multiple parts that have different opinions. It's kinda similar to dialectical reasoning i think.
I've been mentioning it to anyone who will listen, lol, since I've gotten a lot out of this mental framework. I think the actual therapy bit is about isolating the parts, asking them questions, and kinda reparenting and compromising with them, bringing them closer to your core self (which therapist describes as the part of us that has space and accommodates all of the parts)
And no need to apologize, I appreciate reading your thoughts :)