Hey all, sincerely hope you're well.

Many of our American posters are gathering together with family and friends today. They're likely to hear plenty of awful takes from their liberals. Unscratched, freshly scratched, or pre-scratched chuds alike, there are sure to be brainworms all around the table and openly airing their unhinged grievances. Please feel free to share their awful takes here. This thread is open for supporting one another, venting, laughing at bad family takes (both stale and bespoke).

This thread is intended to be a supportive space to bring the community together. Please be kind to one another. As always, discussion of struggle sessions or attempts to relitigate them will not be permitted.

Have fun and keep cozy! comfy

  • take_five_seconds [he/him, any]
    ·
    edit-2
    4 hours ago

    I am so sick of listening to people champ and chew and burp and swallow and "mm tasty" and then complain about how much food they bought. It happens every year you fucking hedonists, why are you always surprised by it??

    Anyway only checks watch around NINE HOURS til I can go back to my own home.

  • Abracadaniel [he/him]
    ·
    6 hours ago

    fortunately my folks called for a political ceasefire. Unfortunately they only know how to converse through complaining.

  • Kasama ☭@lemmygrad.ml
    ·
    7 hours ago

    We went to our grandparents house to see our other relatives and I did not say a word to them at all. Most of them are reactionaries, and the only political discussion I heard was anti-China garbage. I didn't even eat at the table with them, I just stayed upstairs.

    This is my second year of not talking about politics with my family.

  • WIIHAPPYFEW [he/him, they/them]
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    edit-2
    8 hours ago

    All I wanted to do yesterday was watch the mst3k marathon and instead I got told off by my mom and dad for being rude to people (by which they meant I called my uncle an asshole for trying to tickle my shoulders like I was an 8yo, and was a little too loud when telling my mom (who was pointing out to me that some nostalgiabait ad on the tv “looked sort of like an old tv set”) that it WAS an old tv set)

    Closest thing we got to politics was my dad making some unfunny joke about how “the Dallas Cowboys can’t play against the Cleveland Indians anymore HYUK HYUK”

  • homhom9000 [she/her]
    ·
    9 hours ago

    I hate how much my sister fawns. Every year she says she'll stand up but then immediately folds and I end up getting thrown under the bus so she won't get the fallout. She just started therapy so I have to be patient but god

  • tamagotchicowboy [he/him]
    ·
    9 hours ago

    My family was pretty good this year, generally if there's some shit going down its gossip/smacktalk about other family members (ex so and so is ungrateful and making the wrong economic choices) that leads to an argument. There was gossip, but it never made that bad turn.

  • boiledfrog [he/him, undecided]
    ·
    17 hours ago

    I'm happy i'm not American so I only have to deal with this shit on Christmas, can't imagine living through 2 events like this in less then a month

    • a_little_red_rat [he/him, comrade/them]
      ·
      10 hours ago

      I learned how to deal with it in my family, thanks to the Immortal Science of Marxism-Leninism

      My dialectical approach is to tell my father to shut the fuck up when he tries to talk shit about immigrants, trans people etc

  • Philosophosphorous [comrade/them, null/void]
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    edit-2
    19 hours ago

    i passed out on the toilet at like 5 AM today. i thought i was just going to have diarrhea, but suddenly my lower stomach/intestines started hurting a lot, and i got really lightheaded. i knew i was about to pass out and was trying to breathe. next thing i knew i was waking up on the bathroom floor between my toilet and bathtub, my head basically inside the bucket we keep the plunger and toilet brush in. at first i was confused, i thought i was asleep in my bed, but i immediately panicked and noticed i was on the filthy bathroom floor. i swear i could hear indistinct voices as i came too as well. i don't know how long i was out, a few minutes at most and probably less than that. i had a bit of a panic attack when i got up, i still felt lightheaded, i needed a shower after being face-first in the plunger bucket, and my stomach still hurt very badly and i felt like i had to defecate in the worst way. but since i was lightheaded i went to lie down on the floor in another room, trying to text my dad and my roommate who i had just taken to work earlier at like 4 AM with stiff tingling hands i could barely move. my dad didn't respond, still asleep (and didn't even say anything until much later in the day), but my roommate responded at work at least and my brother was willing to drive me to a hospital which i declined because i finally had the grossest weird smelling (like ammonia or cat poo) diarrhea ever and my stomach stopped hurting. no blood or anything came out that i noticed so i'm confused as to what even happened in a medical sense. i decided to stay home from a thanksgiving thing my brother had planned at the house he just moved into to keep things safe. i appreciate him (he was quicker to respond to calls for aid than my dad who is usually pretty cool) but i also don't know any of the people he moved in with, and the way i felt after i regained consciousness reminded me of ways i've felt in other socially taxing situations (stiff, tingling hands and face), so i didn't want to stress the same biological systems if its at all related. i had been reading 'the will to change' and having a bit of a i'm-a--broken-man-in-a-doomed-world kind of existential crisis, it kind of triggered me and reminded me of a lot of the abuse i suffered as a child, so maybe it was some kind of trauma psychosomatic thing. not a criticism of the book its just a little to real for my addled traumatized mind.

    also, before any of this happened, while i was awake in bed, i had the weirdest psuedo-dream (like an intense involuntary waking daydream, my eyes rolled back into my head but i wasn't asleep) about some green-eyed (solid/glowing green like green lantern or something) alien with defined brow ridges and grey skin (looked kind of like a Protoss) and either a red mouthless facepart (like DBZ cell's original form with its mouth closed) or a mask, on its mouth, and wearing white and gold robes, examining me as i kneeled before it in either chains or some kind of collar. it or an associate moved a rod or a staff and it forced my body (i was watching this dream in 3rd person from some other perspective) to move, turning my head to the left and exposing my neck. the tall grey skinned green eyed alien stared and did something to my neck, maybe with a wand or something, and i started feeling weird mentally. i had been initially terrified of this alien but suddenly i reached out as if i trusted it, and then a large white/gold humanoid dragon's (a character the preexists in my mental library of archetypes, i have seen it before in other similar psuedo-dream/hallucinations) foot appeared at the edge of my disembodied view of the scene, implying that the rest of its huge body encased in some kind of translucent sphere had been 'summoned' by this manipulation of my body. then, i saw the grey skinned green eyed alien with its hands in my head, which looked impossibly and bloodlessly 'opened up' with rectangular panels removed and floating nearby, as if it was moving objects around inside my skull, or doing some kind of maintenance or manipulation. this alien was terrifying to me at first but it felt more like a doctor in this scene. for some reason it felt to me like this dream was related to the voices i heard wile i regained consciousness later.

    in conclusion, any aliens or sorcerers on here or anywhere else wishing my demise because of my cringe posting are going to have to try harder, cuz i lived this time. shoutout to the handful of people that upvote even my most deranged posts for some reason.

    • mathemachristian [he/him]
      ·
      5 hours ago

      it is possible that it is trauma related my wife used to (hopefully past tense for real this time) get seizures where she was out for a couple minutes and then slowly came to. This could happen spontaneously or because she was confronted with her trauma and her subconcious was still processing that.

      Not saying either way but just because even paramedics had a hard time accepting that a psychological disorder can have such an effect on the body, it is a thing that can happen.

    • vovchik_ilich [he/him]
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      12 hours ago

      CW: illness and bodily fluids

      Warning: I'm not a doctor and the following comment isn't medical advice. I'll talk about first hand account.

      I've both heard of and seen people losing consciousness briefly while having a bad time puking hard or defecating hard. Happened to my dad once when he had a tough case of food poisoning, he was defecting and I heard a loud thud in the bathroom, ran there and found him with his face on the floor, fallen forwards. After that, it never happened again and it's been years since that. I'm not trying to tell you not to pursue medical examination, but it wouldn't be the first person getting worried over losing consciousness while doing serious gut effort.

      • immuredanchorite [he/him, any]
        ·
        8 hours ago

        Its called Vasovagal syncope, and it can be triggered by the valsalva maneuver (the increased abdominal pressure when someone ‘bares down’ to poop or blowing hard through a tiny straw etc)

  • axont [she/her, comrade/them]
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    edit-2
    22 hours ago

    This year is the third year where my extended family has completely severed ties with me in regards to family events/holidays.

    The reason hasn't been given to me directly, but based on what my father has told me it's probably because I'm non-binary or that I'm "scary" to all my evangelical family because I work out, I wear thick eyeliner and I have bracelets with spikes. Like I'm clearly some type of queer leftist punk by demeanor and appearance and that's simply who I am and have been for a long time. My grandmother died of covid in 2021, days before the vaccine was commercially available. She was the matriarch of the whole extended family and she loved me dearly. No one would dare speak against her in regards to me being present. I was tolerated so long as meemaw would shoot them a dirty look or brandish her wooden spoon if someone started speaking ill of me. My meemaw was an absolute real one, grew up in poverty in the 1930s, daughter of a community pastor, and overall the sweetest person I've ever known. She had such an immense love inside of her. She practically raised me too, I got my first lessons from her on why racism is evil and how you should treat people with kindness and appreciation.

    Now that she's gone the matriarch and planner seems to be my deranged fundamentalist aunt. At one point my aunt was the principal of my middle school where she was known by the students as "lady Hitler." She would frequently make disparaging remakes about the Latino students and once made a morning announcement that all Christians should be wary of secret Muslims sneaking into America. This was in the early 00s so she never got fired for blatant discrimination like that, instead she ended up superintendent of the whole district a few years later.

    Yeah so if my aunt is in charge of extended family plans, I'm probably never going again. My parents, bless them, actually didn't attend thanksgiving last year or this one because they figured out I was deliberately excluded. Apparently there was an incident where my uncle tried shooting the shit with his brother (my dad) in 2022 about me. Uncle was saying something to the effect of "this is a lot nicer without that commie (slur) isn't it?" He said this thinking my dad would go along with it, but it ended up turning into shouting. Dad actually defended me, said I was smarter and more kind than anyone at the whole table. I'm just some dumb goofus, but it touched me to hear my dad defended me like that from all the bullies in my family.

    My parents are actually super chill with me, despite being a little nuts and racist themselves, they're just standard American type of deranged, not the red pill maga christian fascist type of American. So my parents don't tolerate their kids being called slurs or disparaged by family, thankfully.

    Anyway. I'm thankful that I'm healthy and I have two lovely cats. I only have one human friend, but she's very dear to me. And you're all my comrades and you've always been super nice to me. Thank you

    • mkultrawide [any]
      ·
      22 hours ago

      The arc of history bends towards not saying the nword.

  • iArtemis [she/her, it/its]
    ·
    20 hours ago

    I just saw one of my cousins for the first time in like a decade. His mom ditched her shitty abusive husband and they seem like they've been doing well. There's six of them and he's the only one that showed up.

    I actually haven't seen any of them since we were all pre-teens and we were just a bunch of miserable kids in shitty situations hanging out together, I hope they're alright too.

  • Shaleesh [she/her, comrade/them]
    ·
    20 hours ago

    I so first off I am thankful for my amazing friends (yes you, you know who you are), my sweet little kitty, and this community that has been a source of levity and insight.

    Yeah so this is my first time coming "back home" to my parents house for thanksgiving and I really kinda miss living in town so I could escape at the end of the night. My family isn't like, evil or anything but they make me feel bad to be me most of the time so its been pretty unpleasant actually. Politics didn't come up until much later in the evening and no interesting takes were said but it was still upsetting. I got to bring my kitty because shes family too now and shes made everything so much easier, everyone loves her! Can't wait to go home tomorrow, I don't want to be in this house anymore.

  • mkultrawide [any]
    ·
    22 hours ago

    I'm trying to get my dad to watch Dune but I think I might make a post detailing some for what I heard. Went pretty much the whole day without any politics talk until my cousin's loveable oaf of a husband started saying some shit about Trump and got immediately ganged up on by almost my whole family. I had to stop watching football to go to the other room and bail his ass out lol. Will probably make a post later with details, but the summary was that the Trump voters weren't even actually that excited about Trump and don't actually believe he's going to fix anything. A couple conservatives talked about how we need to stop being involved in foreign wars and actually included Israel/Gaza in that, which was interesting.

  • AmericaDelendaEst [comrade/them]
    ·
    23 hours ago

    My family is tolerable usually but my god i hate visiting my family, then visiting my gf's family, and spending 8 hours combined in doing so. I have enough conversation in me for like 20 minutes

    thank god it's over... until christmas

    • dustbunnies [she/her, comrade/them]
      ·
      21 hours ago

      visiting two extended families on the same day is awful.

      anybody who hosts their holiday gathering in the days before or after deserves extra love and appreciation, imho.

      I think @shadowinlight and I managed to do 3 dual-holiday years before we cracked. it's just too much.