Like he's probably in his moms basement, laying in bed, thinking "fuck I didn't expect to get this far."

That or frantically looking up Gray Hounds to Mexico.

  • cosecantphi [he/him, they/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    13 days ago

    Given the circumstances I'm sure he's a nervous wreck right now, but I hope the widespread celebration of his deed is at least taking the edge off for him.

    Really hope our guy gets away with it, without his identity the media won't be able to tear him down and smear him and spin this all as some sort of personal and isolated event. Escaping like a ghost is pretty much the best an adventurer can hope to achieve. If the guy is never found he'll likely end up a big inspiration for copycat cases.

    Just really hope he didn't have his phone on him

    • kristina [she/her]
      ·
      edit-2
      13 days ago

      police claim he left a cellphone in an alley but its not known if its identifying at all. its def not good cause it didnt look like he was wearing gloves. though hey maybe they make fancy fake silicone gloves that make it look like you arent. bamboozled

      • mudpuppy [it/its, she/her]
        ·
        13 days ago

        it's a weird claim. it seems unlikely that he would just leave his phone there. and i think they've gotten into it by now, and if it was his, they would have released info from it.

        • HamManBad [he/him]
          ·
          13 days ago

          Yeah maybe they're just setting up a plan B if they can't find anything on this guy. Someone is going to go down for this

      • SoyViking [he/him]
        ·
        13 days ago

        Someone dropped a phone in an alley. How do they even know it was Bike Man's?

  • Isopod_Activities [any, any]
    ·
    13 days ago

    The shooter returns to his apartment, slamming the door behind him and pressing his back against it, his limbs spread wide apart as if to brace the door as his wide eyes turn to the startled faces of his three roommates in the dingy living room of his Brooklyn apartment.

    "Guys, I did a thing," he says. Laugh track, end scene.

  • Mardoniush [she/her]
    ·
    13 days ago

    I hope he's stepping of the plane somewhere where the cocktails are cold, the sun is warm, and the weather is always No Extradition Treaty.

    • Sam [none/use name]
      ·
      edit-2
      13 days ago

      That is the way to do it, right? Dump the bike in Central park, change clothes and just immediately head for JFK.

  • newmou [he/him]
    ·
    13 days ago

    He’s hopping onto Hexbear and being like “oh man that guy is so cool”

  • mudpuppy [it/its, she/her]
    ·
    edit-2
    14 days ago

    i think hes choking on bong hits and cranking his entire hog and watching the news with all the other epic assassins. and cleaning his pistol for the first time in ten years

    • ManFreakBeast [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      14 days ago

      That or they're smashing rn, there's a bunch e-gals on Twitter lusting after them, dudes a rock star (cw: horny)

      Show

      • ChestRockwell [comrade/them, any]
        ·
        edit-2
        14 days ago

        VOLCEL POLICE, PLEASE SAVE THE COOL GUN PERSON FROM HONEYPOTS

        volcel-kamala

        Just realized do we know the gender? Ofc they could be any kind of sexuality and this e girl might appeal to them, but still, regardless, horrible opsec if you do that.

        • ManFreakBeast [he/him]
          hexagon
          ·
          edit-2
          13 days ago

          Just realized do we know the gender?

          Fair point, edited

          But hey I'm sure there's hot e guys and NBs horny for them too.

          • ChestRockwell [comrade/them, any]
            ·
            edit-2
            13 days ago

            Oh yeah and it wasn't at all in a "misgendering" way, just don't want erasure if somehow the shooter was a trans supersoldier or something. Like who knows, right? They were masked etc. Obviously the odds are it's a dude (also if the shooter were trans it would be super bad for our trans comrades so I'm hoping it's just a dude too)

            • mudpuppy [it/its, she/her]
              ·
              13 days ago

              there was a trans school shooter and it didn't really change the conversation, bigots are gonna hate no matter what, i don't think it matters. they're still going on about bathroom predators despite it being a complete non issue, i don't think they care what's actually happening in the world.

            • propter_hog [any, any]
              ·
              edit-2
              13 days ago

              And also white and also an American citizen by birth and also a republican

        • VOLCEL_POLICE [it/its]B
          ·
          14 days ago

          Show

          The VOLCEL POLICE are on the scene! PLEASE KEEP YOUR VITAL ESSENCES TO YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES.

          نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.

          volcel-police

      • glimmer_twin [he/him]
        ·
        13 days ago

        This is clearly a honeypot trying to get other people to commit these “crimes”

  • FunkyStuff [he/him]
    ·
    13 days ago

    Probably in the Hexbear movie night and I hope he enjoyed it as much as we did.

  • ShimmeringKoi [comrade/them]
    ·
    13 days ago

    What if the backpack contained lycra biking clothes, and he just kept on biking with no one the wiser?

  • Spike [none/use name]
    ·
    13 days ago

    record scratch, freeze frame, Yep, that's me. You're probably wondering how I got here.