You know, the music that's in every fucking insurance advert that wants to market itself as wholesome.

It's usually got the following: Ukelele strumming, jaunty whistling, a bunch of dudes in what sounds like the far off background happily chanting "waaaooooh" or sometimes if the composer is feeling extra evil, the dreaded baby piano. Can someone tell me what this shit is called?

It's the Corporate Memphis of music. I hate hate hate it.

  • ItsPequod [he/him]
    ·
    11 days ago

    I've heard it called the "millenial woop music" and it has never left my mind ever since. Just groans and moans over the most saccarine 4 chords.

      • AcidSmiley [she/her]
        ·
        11 days ago

        Millenials are old enough to either be creative directors in an ad agency or bullshit themselves through a marketing manager job. They are directly responsible for this slop. The corporate overlords only glance at it briefly and demand to make the logo bigger.

  • BodyBySisyphus [he/him]
    ·
    11 days ago

    Muzak is a term for the generic-sounding, vaguely calming background music formerly haunting elevators and grocery stores before the former ditched speakers and the latter switched to the top 40 charts with no one noticing the difference.

    • someone [comrade/them, they/them]
      ·
      11 days ago

      I have never felt so old as when I (an elder millennial) referred to lo-fi beats to study and relax to as zoomer elevator music, and a zoomer overhearing me said they'd never heard music in an elevator.

      • BodyBySisyphus [he/him]
        ·
        11 days ago

        I feel you. I'm realizing that I'm getting closer and closer to the age my parents were when they were telling me about black and white televisions and realizing there's adults who can buy alcohol that don't remember what it'a like to not have an internet connection or a cell phone.

        chomsky-yes-honey

    • Dessa [she/her]
      ·
      11 days ago

      Good vid. The tl;dr for those who dont feel like watching: He calls it "nothing music" or "corporate nothing music." It's vaguely emotional and gives the illusion of musical progression while going nowhere.

      • NotLuigi [they/them]
        ·
        11 days ago

        I literally found myself waiting for this music to kick in while listening to it but it never did

        • Dessa [she/her]
          ·
          11 days ago

          Maybe this song will give some closure:

          "The Waters Cleansed" from Ori and the Blind Forest, a Metroidvania platformer game with an environmentalist theme.
          https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vhoDQHbw5IY

          Provided as an example which, in my opinion, is a good example of the musical elements we usually hear in corporate feelgood music.

          Further commentary

          What makes this work, IMO, is that while it has the same sort of "layering it on" buildup you hear in corporate music, it doesn't overstay its welcome. It plays through its chord progression twice, adds a melody the second time through, teases resolution exactly once, and finishes. There's little tension, and that's the point-- This song is here purely to provide catharsis after a difficult section, and the level, formerly polluted and grim, is back to a state of serene beauty. The player isnt expected to spend much time here after this, except perhaps to admire their handiwork as they grab the few collectibles they missed before they move on

  • NotLuigi [they/them]
    ·
    11 days ago

    It’s clearly taking inspiration from the sort of pop folk that was popular in like 2012. Mumford and Sons, Lumineers, Phillip Phillips, etc. I don’t know if I would call it Muzak because a lot of video game music is intended to be looped without getting abrasive or annoying. But it definitely sounds like an instrumental to a pop folk song that never quite kicks in.

  • poppy_apocalypse [he/him, any]
    ·
    11 days ago

    I waited for the video to start for like 30 seconds before I realized that was the video. Waited for the narrator to list the dangerous side effects.

  • RoabeArt [he/him]
    ·
    11 days ago

    Sounds like shit they play in commericals for Target stores.

  • REgon [they/them]
    ·
    11 days ago

    I'd call it muzak. It's elevator music. You can argue about instruments or the like, but I feel like muzak, like punk, is more about a vibe than any one specific thing

  • infuziSporg [e/em/eir]
    ·
    11 days ago

    remember this genre of music from like 2011. i like to call it stomp clap hey. that shit sucked lmao