Here's to a new year! Here's my first mega try (also first time posting in a while due to reasons) but heya! Admittedly struggled a fair bit with self doubt and anxiety on this one as put it off for a while/other things caught up with me but I figure I'll be glad I did it once I've done it. It's kinda being done last minute though, so admittedly there's that...
I'd been intending to make the mega about something else originally when I signed up, but that would require more time on my part (and I just binge read this recently, so it all works out). Anyways, my subject of the week is The Summer Hikaru Died; it's a queer (BL) horror manga which is currently also scheduled for anime release next year (2025).
Content warnings naturally follow and further details will be spoilered.
CONTENT WARNINGS
Grief, body horror and (very debatably IMO) mild gore, supernatural horror (ghosts/"impurities", otherworldly entities), death I suppose though that one's a given
Premise
The titular Hikaru went for a walk in the woods, died, and something came back wearing his body, something that doesn't quite know how to be human or mortal; "Hikaru" returned, to ensure that his best friend, Yoshiki, would not be lonely. Romantic tension (and tension of a less pleasant kind) ensues.
The plot/things I like about it thus far (light spoilers)
Yoshiki and "Hikaru" have an absolutely great dynamic- their relationship may not be fully healthy, but their intentions seem to both be in the right place, as are their deep feelings (Yoshiki's for Hikaru and increasingly for "Hikaru," and Hikaru and "Hikaru's" own true feelings) and honesty in this regard, despite the latter "Hikaru" being effectively an imposter of sorts. (it's complicated, but these are increasingly distinguished separately and I really like that process as well)
"Hikaru" is, while not quite a blank slate, extremely new to the concept of even just "being" in the sense that mortal creatures and individual organisms(?) do. They've had to learn (and Yoshiki has had to confront them about) the value and significance of life and death; they've increasingly established boundaries, and they approach the world with a liveliness and curiousity that is really cute (the original Hikaru was also lively FWIW, but "Hikaru" is experiencing everything anew even if they retain the memories).
Yoshiki, on the other hand, is both grappling with his grief and loss of Hikaru, while finding comfort (and discomfort alike) in his imposter, and in guiding them through a new world or state of being. He's finding his resolve and moral/ethical backbone interacting with "Hikaru" (very blue-and-orange morality dynamics, though they're learning), he's experiencing what could be described as a rocky but determined romance and queer experimentation at the same time "Hikaru" is being introduced to notions of attraction and desire (beyond instinctual desire to consume).
Their pairing in so many ways should not work (or rather would be usually destined for a tragic end). From the start, there have been several points where by all means it should have met such an end. But their determination and willingness to meet the other where they're at and gradually be understanding with the other is both fascinating and something I'd feel optimistic for (and interested in seeing play out further).
Anyways, I should cut myself short at this (and make sure to have something properly written beforehand for next time). But anyways, thus far it's a strong recommend (if you feel alright with the content warnings) from me.
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As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.
Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
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I'm incapable of asking for help, but nice try
I don't understand how everyone has these frameworks for themselves that just solve their understanding of the world. I've been alone with my trauma for what is entering the sixth year.
I'm told life isn't a grand narrative, I'm told life isn't a series of unrelated vignettes with no meaning.. Hexbear seems to have solved it all.
Alright well fair enough, Idk if I'd be good for anything anyway tbh. I'm fucking weird.
I mean, does everyone have these frameworks for themselves that just solve their understanding of the world? I don't really, although I've also been basically meditating on my whole identity for like twelve years now. I think you're overestimating people's comprehension here, you're definitely overestimating mine. I ask in sincerity: why does hexbear seem to have solved it all, to you? Me, I see a lot of people who don't get stuff, often in similar ways to how I do.
Aa far as solving shit, I've got the most mileage from yelling into the void in this here megathread, because it does have smart people who know stuff!
I mean,
I definitely have a distorted view surrounding people who aren't scared to start conversations. Everyone with friends and casual relationships has figured something out that I don't know, and that confuses my pea-sized brain.
People don't seem to freak out about the meaning of life. People don't seem to wonder if their best friends like them. I find that my existentialism is frowned upon, so it's like, how exactly should I handle this
sorry for jumping in
I don't think its that (for many of them at least), they figured something out, I think a lot of people just never struggled with it to begin with. At least not the way I (or it sounds like you) do.
I definitely do. I don't message people a lot because I think they don't want to hear what I have to say. Often I think people only talk with me out of a sense of obligation or because they don't have anything else to do. I internalize anything as proof they don't like me and I'm just annoying them. I'm not really sure how to explain it, but other people definitely do wonder if they are liked. I don't talk about it much, a lot of that is because I worry about pushing people further away but it is a very real and frequent experience for me.
Nah though, I literally just talk to (and at) people. I have a high rate of foot-in-mouth incidents but bar trying to be nice, I do not have any underlying thoughts, theory, or understanding. Also I don't think I have friends really =)
Users on here probably have some cool thoughts about the meaning of life, and I know for ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN people here do wonder if their friends like them, actually.
I'll be blunt, I think people react with slight befuddlement to your posts because you vaguepost about having issues or thoughts without ever actually talking about them. You dob't have to dump all of your trauma right now but this place is for talking about shit like that, to an extent. Your fear of conversation is fucking you up way worse than anything that could happen as a result of speaking your mind or talking to someone.
Speak