Hello disabled comrades! I can't believe we're entering a new year... which is year six of the pandemic, hooray. I'm a firm believer that we must always have revolutionary optimism, but I can't say it hasn't been hard for the past few years as more and more leftists have abandoned COVID precautions. But as disabled people, we keep agitating, we keep organizing, and we keep going. Solidarity in the face of pandemic eugenics, always.
As always, we ask that in order to participate in the weekly megathread, one self-identifies as some form of disabled, which is broadly defined in the community sidebar:
"Disability" is an umbrella term which encompasses physical disabilities, emotional/psychiatric disabilities, neurodivergence, intellectual/developmental disabilities, sensory disabilities, invisible disabilities, and more. You do not have to have an official diagnosis to consider yourself disabled.
Mask up, love one another, and stay alive for one more week.
I’m pretty sure ableism has done more to reduce my quality of life than my autism ever will.
“You lack social skills” - maybe some actual peers could have some patience and not turn their nose up at me when I want to be their friend? Then I can learn how to socialize? Just a thought.
“You’re unemployable” - Then maybe college should be affordable so if something bad happens in one semester my life doesn’t get permanently ruined and I just try next semester? No, stop telling me to start my own business. I will function best under the stability of a 9-5.
I know I’m preaching to the choir; but disability issues are class issues too.
I couldn't agree more, friend, and if nothing else, I hope you at least find peers irl that will treat you with the respect and love you deserve
Does anyone else feel that their illness/disability has left them mentally and emotionally stunted? After years of being unable to work or have a social life, I'm noticing more and more how people the same ag as me seem so much older. I feel like I'm mentally and emotionally stuck at a younger age after missing out on so many milestones and experiences in life.
i feel this a lot. i genuinely don't really know how to interact with people irl anymore because of it and it seems like it gets worse the more the years go by.
Same here. Not that I even get to talk to many people in real life any more, but when I do, and they're the same age as me, I feel like a kid talking to someone decades older. They've all had normal lives while I've been at home ill for years and missed out on everything. Some of them even talk to me in a tone of voice like they think I have special needs or something, really patronising.
I feel like I'm just waiting for my life to reach the ending. A lot of my friends have moved on with life and I don't leave the house much anymore. I haven't been able to work in over a decade.
Same here. I'm just waiting for a chance for assisted suicide, because I've tried once myself before and it ended very badly. Unsuccessful and very painful with lasting effects. I'm hoping to go to dignitas. Of course I can't afford it, but they apparently do discounts or pro bono for people on low incomes. However, you have to be a member of dignitas for this, and it costs a small amount to join. I can't afford the joining fee right now, but maybe if I get my benefits sorted I can. Or perhaps it will become legal in the UK.
I appreciate you khizuo & everyone else here but holy shit this sites been gettin on me something fierce lately god damn. between the very clear racism, chauvinism, ableism, not sure how much more of this shit I can take aaarrgghh
I really just need to do better about logging off. I keep feeling like I’ll miss some news or this or that and so even when I don’t post I’m still lurking. But a lot of people here just suck. It’s draining me to even be around. I need to fill the time I spend scrolling and getting mad at all these people being shitty with something else, but my world is already so, so small. I’ll figure something out.
I've significantly reduced my activity on the site in the past ~2 months or so as the white chauvinism on the site has become more apparent (and also because I'm just fatigued to do a lot of posting.) I don't plan on leaving entirely as I still want to at least make an effort to improve things as one of the evil tankie mods, but it's such an uphill battle.
also relate on the "world being small" thing, i'm in bed 95% of the time thanks to me/cfs and trying to keep myself entertained is challenging. I have projects that I work on but it's rough not being able to get out and about more.
also i'd be happy to hang out outside a hexbear context if you ever feel like it, we can talk on matrix.
i'm in bed 95% of the time thanks to me/cfs and trying to keep myself entertained is challenging. I have projects that I work on but it's rough not being able to get out and about more.
This is me, too. I have a ginormous backlog/pile of shame I need to draw/paint/sculpt but it's like by the time I get my work station set up, I need to lay down and rest again. The enshittifications caused by capitalism aren't helping, either.
Then I have boomer family I rely on for help (which I appreciate), but who are incapable of being alone with their own thoughts for more than five seconds and require constant attention that breaks my concentration whenever I try to do something. I've babysat toddlers and dogs who required less monitoring. Like no wonder my grandparents hated their kids lmao
Yeah the constant debate broisms have made me go back into lurk mode :/
It's so upsetting. Sometimes I think I'm just too optimistic expecting people here not to be super ableist :/
I’m sorry, I’ve locked the post, I really need to rest and eat. But I’m not done addressing fatphobia on the site I promise, I’m still going to work on this.
I am still in awe that the comment that asked the people who are harmed to bring receipts so that they can believe that dieting does not work got over 50 upbears.
I always knew that if this discussion ever happened on this site, it would go exactly the way it went.
I mean you learn to expect disappointment existing in a large body, but the slap in the face never stops stinging.
Ffs, I need to go
Someone made a post to bring attention to fatphobia and a bunch of hexbears came out to start concern trolling on it. It got way out of hand and eventually I locked the thread. I'm still feeling quite upset and disappointed with a lot of people on that thread (not the op and not the people who were pushing back on the fatphobia) and I think this is an aspect of site culture that really needs to change.
Damn, that's kind of shameful. I'm a little bit glad I missed that.
actually pulling my hair out at the thread on anti-fatness (not at op). god so many hexbears are INSUFFERABLE
Yeah, chiming in that I dare not mention my longcovid or chronic pain issues that I have in there right now, because it would just uphold the issues we are trying to combat.
And noticing this moderation in myself on this supposedly leftist site makes me feel stuff for sure.
But to all comrades who get it, thank you.
im so sorry comrade. i’ll try to be more vigilant and better on this issue going forward.
Does it feel kind of like, edgier lately to anyone else? I feel like I've seen a lot of threads lately just full of some nastiness that I don't want even to engage in
Yes, that's a good way to put it. It's been difficult to engage or connect because it feels so...false, I guess
Normally, I don't really mind as much if I feel like someone is being (unknowingly) reactionary. Although this is an online shitposting forum at its core, I genuinely do consider most people here as comrades, and calling out comrades to be constructive is fairly easy. But some of the behavior lately has not felt that way. I can't quite put my finger on what it's felt like lately but I can certainly say I have not felt like there have been many constructive discussions lately nor the space to have them.
Seen a lot more people masking recently, bird flu stuff might be spooking people? Dunno, nice to see people other than me doing it though. Still not even like 1/6 people
i think it's because people may be noticing a pattern of those around them getting more and more sick during this time of the year especially. it is really nice to see more people masking
I walked into a grocery store a couple days before christmas and the first aisle I went down had 5 people all masked up, was kinda surreal
genuinely do not know what i expected out of a site with roots in dirtbag left shit. i never interacted with this nonsense a decade ago for this reason. every time i keep hoping things are different and I guess they are a little bit compared to, like, 2014 or whatever but it's just not worth the effort anymore
it's the people like you that make this place bearable (no apologies). i will never blame you or anyone for leaving but i hope you know that there are people in your corner and they would rather lose a thousand debatebro assholes over even a single one of you
Ivy, you're the first person here to take my complaints seriously and didn't just reply with a bs "stiff upper lip" comment. That means so much more than any struggle session ever could. I've come out of lurking too over the recent weeks (got a new account as well for a "fresh start") and would hate to see the people leave who made me feel brave enough to talk to the others here.
I guess I didn't get fired??? I'm just logging in as usual, and I haven't received any dire emails.
Ok. Good. Still have no idea why my badge didn't work, but worst case scenario if none of my coworkers can let me in again I'll just WFH New Years Eve. It's not my problem at that point.
@gingerbrat@hexbear.net & @Kuori@hexbear.net, your comments really moved me. It’s all just internet posting but unlike some people I am acutely aware that every letter we see on screen is made by other human beings, ones we can name and recognize, who can name and recognize us. It’s nice to be reminded. Thank you.
Tired of constantly being treated as a nuisance / doormat by "friends"
I've already been extremely exhausted lately, and now I've been hit with COVID, because despite my efforts, most of those around me do not put in any effort at all 😖.
just whining again, chronic pain/fatigue
I am not looking forward to the eventual point when I can't stand up anymore, but it's coming someday. I can feel it, getting up even one flight of stairs is exhausting now. I used to skip the elevator at work by speedrunning all ten flights and boy do I miss that now! My sternum just hurts all the fucking time, when I do almost anything that requires even a little upper body exertion. It has NOT got much better since I vomited a week ago.
Also my wrists/thumbs are too sore from playing a lot of Dragon Quest! I asked my doc about wrist splints a while ago and he said I could buy some lmao.
commiserating, my own venting
solidarity comrade. right there with you, been reflecting on this too. I'm like, I'm deteriorating. if I don't manage to figure out and build the habit of some kinda light exercise/stretching routine that actually slows or offsets this process, I'm gonna be more or less bedridden before very long. and like, it's a coin flip whether that will even help. I'm very sedentary so i feel pushing for a bit more activity probs can't hurt in my case. but it's really fucking hard when I'm depressed and burnt out (and SORE) all the time. still feeling somewhat inspired recently to go for it this year so I'm hoping to achieve at least some change. some days it feels like such an uphill battle tho.
same
Ah fuck you remind me I've gotta be lifting again, but stretching kinda hurts at this point. Blegh...
I dunno if physical activity will help much but gotta try, I guess. It does feel like an uphill battle, shit fuckin sucks... I hope not to be bedridden...
yeah I'm hoping to start lifting again this year, used to love it when i was younger so hoping it won't be too intimidating to go back. figure it's worth a try. i get the stretching horts, i think we suffer from similar sternum pain... i wish you a less body hurting 2025 and hope you can find activities or accommodations that meaningfully help you
i think we suffer from similar sternum pain...
Wait really? This is news to me, rad. I remember you talking about costochondritis, but of the sternum! We should trade tips about how not to cause ourselves excruciating pain or smth.
Also
ur comments inspired me to do a daily lift again today, just now. It kind of sucks but I think I can build muscle mass and it'll help a bit, exercise feels good at least, runner's high kinda thing.I hope lifting helps when you get back to it too
Went on another walk today and the weather was perfect. Slightly chilly so I wasn't sweating but not too cold that I was shivering
I go when there's like no one out and cross the street if I see someone walking near me so I don't mask (my adoptive parents are very anti vax and mask and I'm afraid of them seeing me with one on and kicking me out) but I still get nervous :/ unfortunately it's that or not walking which helps my circulation so :/
cw: strugglesesh/doomer/vent
tired of all the struggle sessions and how things just keep escalating and so many genuinely good people are leaving the site cause of course they shouldn't have to deal with all this shit. and i feel like the mods and admins are literally breaking their backs trying nonstop to de-escalate but people just won't stop! it sucks that this is all happening once i finally worked up the courage to not lurk as much as i used to. maybe it was bad luck for the site for me to even start posting at all. i'm just feeling really disheartened about everything right now, i know it's dumb but it feels like the world is ending or something
reassurances
please don't blame yourself! it's definitely not you. not sure how serious you were but i hate to see people blame themselves for something they had no part in. things are rough right now for sure. it seems like the mods and admins are trying their best to respond to complaints by marginalized users about aspects of the site culture but nothing they've tried has been well-received. it's deeply unfortunate, but your presence here only makes the site better!
continued
i really appreciate your reassurances, i realize i may be being a bit dramatic. just lots of stressful things happening yanno?
i just hope things actually do get better so all our marginalized comrades feel safe enough to stay and i do genuinely see the effort that the mods and admins are putting in to make the site better. i think some posters are being extra mean-spirited toward them right now and i'm worried that their escalation/resistance to change will continue to drive away our marginalized users.
i do love hexbear and a lot of the kind people that are here so i hope things improve soon <3
ever onward, posting
i wouldn't say dramatic, things have really gotten strained around here as of late. i'd love to say i see that changing soon but uh i lurk the em_poc mega pretty regularly and the mood is far from optimistic. i really hope we can staunch the bleeding but i'm personally totally at a loss as what to do.
i love this place too. it has severe flaws but there's not really anywhere else like it.
spoiler
yeahhh i'm really worried for just all the em_poc on the site at this point. it's not looking good, i've seen some incredibly reactionary and white chauvinist things get upvoted just over the last few days. i'm also struggling with what to do, i can't pretend i'm not worried.
i've had some great times on this site and i would hate to leave. i hope we can work something out.
spoiler
i don't know why i thought this place was different. it's not like we haven't had an explicit fucking issue with running off poc users in the past. i know there have been numerous complaints about the culture here throughout the entirety of its existence. at this rate it seems like we're just going to keep fucking going until this is lemmy's premier sundown town. i hope to god it doesn't end up that way but i just don't see how we get from where we are now to a place where all of our comrades feel safe and supported.
i feel you completely. i've loved this place at times. i want everyone to be able to have that. if that's not the goal, then i honestly don't see any point. i really hope things change enough that you all stick around.
and on a lighter note, since we're already chatting: thank you for everything you do here and all the work you put in! so much effort educating and moderating. this comm in particular feels like an oasis. please never feel like you are obligated to continue doing so, but know that it's appreciated.
continued
i feel at a loss too. i really value our em_poc comrades and all of this is definitely hitting them the hardest. they're being made to go to bat constantly and I don't understand how certain people on the site don't see any problems with that!!! i can only imagine the burnout...
change needs to happen and i do really want hexbear to get to that point. and i think more people on the site feel the same than we think because most marginalized people don't like having to argue with ignorant people. which they shouldn't have to at all.
it'll be a continuous uphill battle for sure
same
yeah watching all of this transpire over the past few months has been uh a little like the experience of meeting a cool new leftist friend only to discover they're not-so-secretly a shithead, but repeated about a dozen times over. i am really hopeful things will improve, but...i don't know. like i said to khizuo just above, i'm not sure how we go from the point we're at now to the point where all of our marginalized comrades feel like this is an environment that's meant to have them in it.
spoiler
It's a stressful time, on the site and in the world at large
and I want to say, thank you for your kind words towards the mods, I really appreciate it. I hope we can create a better space for our marginalized comrades and I'm glad you're here on the site.
i'm glad you're here too, and all the work you do really is appreciated
it wears down on me too. I'll try to do more to combat it.
saw it in the modlog, doing good work
any time, comrade
