Heyyy it's your weekly mental health thread. How is everyone doing? Feel free to post something positive that happened as well.
And don't forget that we have a comm for mental health!
The ideation is strong today comrades. No plans or anything to worry about on that front, but gd I am so sick of feeling like this.
Is it the, "every time I stop thinking about something, it slips in" type or, "everything that sucks makes me want to"? Sorry if this is probing, but I feel talking about things in detail helps me.
A bit of both I guess? I don't know, today it's just "everything sucks" but I usually am constantly thinking about it. I could be having a great day even and then it'll just be a thought that slips in throughout the day. I've been dealing with this since I was a kid. I'm 27 now. At this point, it's just a constant part of my life.
I have a similar history with it and it's never made any sense to me either. The worst is when I am in the middle of a depressive state, stuck to the couch, and all that is in my head is some asshole telling me what to do with my life.
I self harmed for the first time in over a year two weeks ago because I've been doing poorly in school. I'm doing better but I just feel kinda numb.
Bad I cannot do online school anymore. I am gonna drop semester change majors and wait till I can actually go to classes in person again. Oh and get a job
I've been burnt out for years now and honestly there's no end in sight. Constantly dropping out of jobs, moving around, restlessness etc. I can't formulate any long term goals because everything fucking sucks and every day is the same. The little energy I do have goes towards ruminating over capitalism / neoliberalism and working out. Idk fellas, pals, buds, this shit is tough
Yeah, everything is kinda garbage right now and for some of us it's been like that for a long time. I've given up on formulating long term goals or planning anything beyond the next two weeks because everything is so uncertain. I've decided to focus on my day to day functioning because that's the only thing I can do right now. You are working out which means that you still have the energy to put up a fight. That's the most important thing.
I'm doing alright. Does anyone else feel extreme anxiety with zoom "parties?" I'm lucky enough to be very much out of school, so I don't have to worry about zoom classes. But, my partner and friends like going on zoom parties. The concept of it is a musician or DJ doing a set and people dance on cam or show their reactions or whatever.
I feel like I should be able to just let my guard down and enjoy the music, but it just instantly fills me with anxiety. I don't know if it's because I feel self conscious or I just can't pretend I'm having a good time when I'm not. I can't exactly put my finger on it and I'm just wondering if anyone else feels similarly.
Fair enough. I'm mostly introverted and it's good have your feelings validated when it's something abstract and hard to explain to others.
I'm really really tired of having to experience everything that's happening in the world completely alone. While I know having actual friends and/or having a partner wouldn't fix everything, it would definitely make things easier to deal with.
Everything I own is breaking down on me, I don't have the money to fix it, as my savings are already being depleted bc of covid, I'm sleeping 18 hours a day, and to boot, someone I was in (masked) close contact with has to quarantine and test for covid, so I should do the same, too.
Otherwise, everything's great.
Fucked my master's thesis because of COVID and I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that grades are bullshit, but it's hard because I spent so much money and almost destroyed myself trying to salvage it
Things have been up and down I suppose lately, or I guess that's the way it's been since the start of quarantine 200+ days ago. Lately it feels like my motivation has been shot and that's kind of disheartening but I'm attempting to keep a day-to-day to-do journal which helps a bit. Not working definitely sucks and I want to find something that I can do from home but it seems right now things are in slim pickings and with the bit of work experience I have it'd be hard to find something.
On some good news my regular therapist referred me to a gender therapist in the area that I can do totally via. video chat/phone so hopefully when I decide to make the call maybe my appointment(s) won't be too far out... :transshork-happy:
Hell yeah, journaling is awesome. I've been writing in my journal every day for almost 4 years. Do you use an app or write on paper? I'm also looking for a job that I can do from home but I'm not motivated at all because wage slavery sucks ass.
Paper now until I find a better app. I was using a bullet-journal app that's cross-platform across all devices but it started having issues such as not syncing and simply not working, unfortunately the developer has seemingly abandoned the project. But regardless I think ever since I did make a simple to-do list and/or kept a journal it's helped me out a bit I think.
But yeah kind of same boat with the jobs thing, want to work so I have enough money to move out and be independent some point next year but it's a matter of finding something I'd be motivated to work for too. School was also a consideration but I haven't even begun to think about what I'd take.
Yo, those are nice. I'll have to definitely give them a try! :D
If you are this close to the edge of completely losing it I recommend not seeing a therapist. There is a decent chance they will just kick you all the way off. I know when I saw one it seemed that was his intention, if I wasn't already in an upwards trajectory at the time I'd have probably ended up in a mental hospital, not by choice.
I've been back at my parents' place for the last two weeks. The pandemic is getting out of control in my country so I'll be staying here for at least another week. I feel a bit better here than in the city where I live but I can't stand my old man and we're always fighting. I've kind of accepted that everything is garbage right now and that I'll just have to survive through the shitstorm. In the meantime, I'm trying to stay sane by meditating, going for walks with my dog and focusing on my physical and mental health.
