I imagine him all frustrated trying so hard, regurgitating theory quotes with glassy eyes and everyone going "OK, CIA brat" under their breath

Really sex pest behaviour.

  • Spartacist [he/him]
    39·
    4 years ago

    There’s no “fun” in physical attraction, which is a myth and has been propagated by the ruling class btw. You shouldn’t look at a human and feel physically attracted to them, ever

    • sappho [she/her]
      2·
      4 years ago

      Man, I believed you when you said it was possible to be a Christian and a leftist at the same time. But here you are, with the same weird beliefs that I had back when I was indoctrinated.

      • Spartacist [he/him]
        11·
        4 years ago

        This has nothing to do with religion. I just don’t trust myself to have physical attractions

          • Spartacist [he/him]
            8·
            4 years ago

            Physical attraction, in me, has lead to minor sexual harassment in which my body unconsciously looks at someone in an impolite manner

              • Spartacist [he/him]
                1·
                4 years ago

                I’ve been trying my fucking hardest over the past year and a quarter, because I had a really awful flight where I had to spend 5 hours staring at the seat in front of me, cursing at myself in my head because if I hadn’t overheard something, I would have spent the entire flight leering at the woman sitting next to me like a fucking pervert

                  • Spartacist [he/him]
                    ·
                    4 years ago

                    I spent the whole flight in thought and desperately wondering if I had upset people before with my behavior and if it was too late to apologize.

                    Besides, the magazines suck on planes. The crossword and Sudoku is already filled in.

        • Orannis62 [ze/hir]
          ·
          4 years ago

          It really does feel like you've taken Christian hangups about sexuality and just substituted Satan for Capitalism

          • Spartacist [he/him]
            ·
            4 years ago

            Because I can’t fucking stop them I’m not strong enough

              • Alaskaball [comrade/them]MA
                ·
                4 years ago

                Lmao tfw handholding caused ww1 (specifically the heir to the Austro-Hungarian empire double suiciding with his lover)

                  • Alaskaball [comrade/them]MA
                    ·
                    4 years ago

                    Let us learn the lesson that love is so powerful it can cause world wars. Therefore we must uphold the volcel vanguard party line no matter what.

                    Lest we bathe this world in BLOOOKOOLAID

              • Spartacist [he/him]
                1·
                4 years ago

                I can’t do a chemical castration because I’m a minor, and it’s an irreversible process that could lead to really nasty side effects coming from testosterone loss

            • the_river_cass [she/her]
              ·
              4 years ago

              seconding @ScreamoBMO's point about counseling... this also all sounds like The Queer Experiencetm and repression is a hell of a hole to dig yourself back out of - this from personal experience. I'm a trans woman and while I've never had an experience anywhere near as strong as what you're describing, I do know what it's like to repress a bunch of shit and develop nasty feelings around yourself and the people you're attracted to... in my case, I wasn't even attracted to women - I was jealous of them and confused the hell out of those two emotions and I'm only now, twenty years later, working out my attraction to men, something that was buried so deeply because it was overwhelmed by my jealousy (plus a whole host of other shit).

              this stuff can be seriously traumatizing even with nothing else going on (there's always other stuff going on) so get help working through it. :cat-trans:

              • MerryChristmas [any]
                ·
                4 years ago

                I totally understand that jealousy. For me it often took the form of codependency, but realizing how much of my attraction was based on wanting to become more like the person I was attracted to made me really reevaluate the way I related to the concept of gender in general.

                • the_river_cass [she/her]
                  ·
                  4 years ago

                  I came at it the other way around because I knew I was trans the second it was described to me... it just took me a while to work out this, including the codependency, were part and parcel of my gender issues because of how hard I was fighting to repress that.

              • Spartacist [he/him]
                ·
                4 years ago

                I don’t know. I do feel like a guy, and I do feel much more attracted to women than men... I don’t want to talk to my parents about this, I don’t want to go to a shrink

                • the_river_cass [she/her]
                  ·
                  4 years ago

                  I was talking about me, I'm not saying you have the same thing going on. tell your parents you have depression and want to see a therapist for it. it's a good catch all, will almost certainly be true in any case, and is sufficiently common that they won't suspect anything.

                  but you really should talk to someone. I promise, you don't want the consequences of this kind of repression weighing on you decades later. I can explain what that's like if you want but otherwise I'll spare you the gorey details.

                • SteveHasBunker [he/him]
                  ·
                  4 years ago

                  It sound to me you’re just anxious about sex and sexuality. Which is fine, sex is weird and scary, if anything being a little anxious over it is a healthy thing.

                  But I would suggest you talk to someone about this. If you decide you want to be celibate that’s fine, but if doing so is this much of a struggle for you I don’t think it’ll make you happy. You probably need to talk to someone and figure out why you feel so anxious about it.

      • Spartacist [he/him]
        ·
        4 years ago

        I don’t leer at people anymore, but I do occasionally make semiconscious glances