Think black rifle, but completely mask off. Point out that black rifle and other fascist coffee roasters are using 100% Arabica coffee beans. That just won't do for good Americans. I want to offer them an alternative, at a premium of course. 100% Robusta premium coffee. I'll charge 10% more than other leading fash lifestyle coffee brands for coffee that you can buy for nearly half the price wholesale.
Because it's shit, and they deserve shit.
Jesus those bespoke box / fun box things make me cringe so hard. It's like subscribing to an identity.
Beatnik box. We send you a curitated box of drugs once a month. This month is a 10 pre roll marijuana joints, a vial of racemic ketamine, ten strip of acid, 10 amphetamine chocolates, a spoon, some microfilter cottons, one gram of china white heroin, and one of those comical old timey syringes with the two loops.
Ok but I want this.
Next month: 10 preroll marijuana joints but it's ditch weed and there might be a seed that explodes your face off, 2 time release seroquils but they're broken in chunks to defeat the time release, 100 tramadol pills, and a can of gold spray paint.