Holy shit. So you're just going to completely disregard her perspective and assume you know more about her situation when you have virtually zero information about it. Not a good look, dude.
Reminds me of the time the male r/socialism mods banned a woman for drawing SFW catgirls on a separate site because "catgirls are inherently misogynistic." Stop being cringe.
Manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity.
you legit just said i had stockholm syndrome and that my completely loving and amazing boyfriend who has helped me more than anyone else on this planet is brutally abusing me.
just because you feel she is abused doesn’t mean she actually is by the same logic; unless you have actual reasons beyond you feel like it is abusive to support your point, which you haven’t made clear yet.
also think of the epistemological conclusions of what you just said. she has less of a capacity to tell how she feels about something than you do? because what, you know what Stockholm syndrome is? or because you want to universalize a condition that you personally have?
Because there is evidence that most BDSM relationships are perpetuated by toxic individuals who gaslight their victims into believing that they want to be abused
what evidence? we are asking what evidence man. it’s like if i ask you why this house is red and you say “because red is red” and then if i ask again why the house is red and you response “because there is evidence to believe the house is red”
Okay why is the house not blue and not yellow? let me guess because it is red? You aren’t giving reasons you are just asserting definitions. We literally disagree with your definition of strangulation and spanking as universally abusive techniques.
Because the paint used is not blue and not yellow. Strangulation and Spanking is abuse, as they are used to cause physical damage as punishment to the victim m.
I am not an abuser. I do not touch my girlfriend without her consent. I do not raise my voice at her. I don’t try to degrade her. I am not an abuser. Do not call me an abuser.
we should probably refrain from being this way. i hate to be the civility fetishist but in the other thread he admitted his definition was flawed. this could be a learning experience rather than flogging session. i’m down to do both but i feel like we’ve flogged enough and now you’re trying to convince him that he might be abusing his girlfriend, which while possible, is similar to what he was doing to you. I don’t know it all is so iffy but it feels like something that isn’t right to do in return.
yeah im a rape victim i just hate some douchebag man telling me what is or what isnt abuse. its a huge thing for me. and tbh if chapo wants more women here there needs to be public flogging on this shit.
I think there’s a line we can toe to where we still publicly flog ourselves when one of us says some reactionary shit; however, we have to understand it as a flogging in order to correct the behavior rather than flogging for flogging’s sake. I’m not trying to modulate or regulate anyone’s behavior here, I just think that we should consider it the community self-flogging itself. Obviously there are times when it is necessary to flog someone and then ban then also; however, i don’t think this is one of those times so the situation should probably be handled as critique or flogging of a comrade rather than an enemy (as long as said comrade repents for the reactionary offensive when the flogging is over of course)
(i don’t think you did anything wrong really, nor would it be my place to say so if you did; i’m just adding a thought onto the thread i suppose)
yeah i can understand that totally, i was once like him so my experience causes me to try to guide them out of the r*ddit mentality. sometimes i get totally burned and they waste hours in stupid threads, this one had a pretty quick turnover rate though actually
yeah and unfortunately we didnt get into a deeper level talk (mostly because i hate talking about things like this except when in a certain mindset). theres many levels of why his opinion is wrong that i didnt get into mostly because he implied i was being abused by my boyfriend, who i love very much. first of all bdsm helps rape victims a lot, and its something that comes up in support meetings regularly and its a very awkward thing for anyone to admit liking in the first place, being a rape victim. its especially hard to admit in places outside of support meetings because people will start to blame you for being raped and so on even though the two have no connection. an issue with being raped is that you can get ptsd of it, which means you can get body feelings of someone touching you, holding you down, etc. completely randomly or with a trigger. bdsm helps with the body feelings by introducing those feelings but in a positive context. of course, you can only do this when in a good state of mind and with a partner that is very good at listening, but it can be very therapeutic and a way to get those feelings out of your mind.
Wow, I did not know that! That is truly fascinating from multiple points of view. That sounds like something I would hear Zizek talking about in reference to Lacan and Hegel. There is a lot of discursive meat to be had in that phenomenon, you are right.
See but i think the paint IS blue and you think it isn’t. That is the point. You can’t convince me without a reason or an argument as to why this color we both see (spanking or strangulation) is blue or not blue. We literally believe strangulation and spanking to be conditionally non-abusive activities, given consent under normal circumstances.
also if your definition of abusive activity is simply causes physical harm to the one acted upon, then is consensual sparring between comrades in MMA abusive?
Yes that’s my point, it is okay for you to personally not like BDSM bc you view it as abusive. However it is not okay for you to universalize that and say it is true for everyone and then to gaslight those that disagree with you into thinking their potentially loving and good relationship might in fact be abusive.
So how are comrades to train martial arts? Perhaps your definition of abuse is too idealistic to account for situations of physical harm that are 1) consensual 2) necessary for training and 3) generally regarded as non-abusive
Sometimes i catch myself being too confident in my definitions of things and then find myself in the same situation you are. It happens to the best of us, and there’s no shame as long as we progress forward towards more dialectically advanced definitions of things.
I don’t know what you’re saying to me.
she is saying that despite you saying that it is abusive all the time, she partakes in it and feels not abused.
in other words, her mere existence as someone partaking yet not abused or abusing negates your universal assertion that BDSM is abusive.
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Holy shit. So you're just going to completely disregard her perspective and assume you know more about her situation when you have virtually zero information about it. Not a good look, dude.
Reminds me of the time the male r/socialism mods banned a woman for drawing SFW catgirls on a separate site because "catgirls are inherently misogynistic." Stop being cringe.
r*ddit
sounds like individual gaslighting to me
You are being gaslighted, just by the person abusing you and making you believe you want it.
no, im being gaslighted by you, dipshit
How.
gas·light:
Manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity.
you legit just said i had stockholm syndrome and that my completely loving and amazing boyfriend who has helped me more than anyone else on this planet is brutally abusing me.
Yes, because consent or no consent, abuse is abuse
youre a dipshit. perhaps dont tell women how to feel and think, stop being a disgusting reactionary misogynist, kthanks
abuse is abuse sure, but why is BSDM abuse?
you can’t just assert red is red as a reason for why that house is red
just because you feel she is abused doesn’t mean she actually is by the same logic; unless you have actual reasons beyond you feel like it is abusive to support your point, which you haven’t made clear yet.
also think of the epistemological conclusions of what you just said. she has less of a capacity to tell how she feels about something than you do? because what, you know what Stockholm syndrome is? or because you want to universalize a condition that you personally have?
Because there is evidence that most BDSM relationships are perpetuated by toxic individuals who gaslight their victims into believing that they want to be abused
what evidence? we are asking what evidence man. it’s like if i ask you why this house is red and you say “because red is red” and then if i ask again why the house is red and you response “because there is evidence to believe the house is red”
WHAT EVIDENCE ADAM WHAT EVIDENCE
The house is red because it was painted using a primary color that isn’t blue or yellow. Common techniques in bdsm include strangulation and spanking.
Okay why is the house not blue and not yellow? let me guess because it is red? You aren’t giving reasons you are just asserting definitions. We literally disagree with your definition of strangulation and spanking as universally abusive techniques.
Because the paint used is not blue and not yellow. Strangulation and Spanking is abuse, as they are used to cause physical damage as punishment to the victim m.
you legit abused me in this thread via gaslighting and youre on a high horse saying shit?
Now you’re accusing me of abuse because I said that your relationship is toxic?
you have literally two brain cells.
I am not being abusive. I am not an abuser.
uh huh. gaslighting, that one thing that abusers definitely dont do.
I am not an abuser. I do not touch my girlfriend without her consent. I do not raise my voice at her. I don’t try to degrade her. I am not an abuser. Do not call me an abuser.
hope you dont gaslight her at all like you just did to me.
I don’t fucking gaslight her. I don’t lie to her. Do you want proof? I’ll go and find some fucking proof
man you really are whack
we should probably refrain from being this way. i hate to be the civility fetishist but in the other thread he admitted his definition was flawed. this could be a learning experience rather than flogging session. i’m down to do both but i feel like we’ve flogged enough and now you’re trying to convince him that he might be abusing his girlfriend, which while possible, is similar to what he was doing to you. I don’t know it all is so iffy but it feels like something that isn’t right to do in return.
yeah im a rape victim i just hate some douchebag man telling me what is or what isnt abuse. its a huge thing for me. and tbh if chapo wants more women here there needs to be public flogging on this shit.
he's a 16 year old dipshit that's convinced he knows everything. the flogging is warranted. otherwise, he'll still be this way as an adult.
is he actually 16 lmao
unfortunately for him, yeah
just saw your reply lmao. jeez wasted a lot of time on that one. kept things short though so not too much time.
his old account /u/sparticist got banned for telling someone to dilate as an insult. after this, I kinda hope they just ban him on sight.
unfortunate
also hilarious that that is an insult you can basically stop doing it with regular sex after a year
:angery: I don't have that yet
ok fine regular shoving things in your new pussy for fun and games.
also after like a decade you dont have to do it at all without any sex or anything
now I just need a pussy :agony-4horsemen:
mooooooood
I think there’s a line we can toe to where we still publicly flog ourselves when one of us says some reactionary shit; however, we have to understand it as a flogging in order to correct the behavior rather than flogging for flogging’s sake. I’m not trying to modulate or regulate anyone’s behavior here, I just think that we should consider it the community self-flogging itself. Obviously there are times when it is necessary to flog someone and then ban then also; however, i don’t think this is one of those times so the situation should probably be handled as critique or flogging of a comrade rather than an enemy (as long as said comrade repents for the reactionary offensive when the flogging is over of course)
(i don’t think you did anything wrong really, nor would it be my place to say so if you did; i’m just adding a thought onto the thread i suppose)
meh. easy to say if youve never experienced what ive experienced.
yeah i can understand that totally, i was once like him so my experience causes me to try to guide them out of the r*ddit mentality. sometimes i get totally burned and they waste hours in stupid threads, this one had a pretty quick turnover rate though actually
yeah and unfortunately we didnt get into a deeper level talk (mostly because i hate talking about things like this except when in a certain mindset). theres many levels of why his opinion is wrong that i didnt get into mostly because he implied i was being abused by my boyfriend, who i love very much. first of all bdsm helps rape victims a lot, and its something that comes up in support meetings regularly and its a very awkward thing for anyone to admit liking in the first place, being a rape victim. its especially hard to admit in places outside of support meetings because people will start to blame you for being raped and so on even though the two have no connection. an issue with being raped is that you can get ptsd of it, which means you can get body feelings of someone touching you, holding you down, etc. completely randomly or with a trigger. bdsm helps with the body feelings by introducing those feelings but in a positive context. of course, you can only do this when in a good state of mind and with a partner that is very good at listening, but it can be very therapeutic and a way to get those feelings out of your mind.
Wow, I did not know that! That is truly fascinating from multiple points of view. That sounds like something I would hear Zizek talking about in reference to Lacan and Hegel. There is a lot of discursive meat to be had in that phenomenon, you are right.
You have no standing to accuse me of abusive behavior towards my girlfriend
:PIGPOOPBALLS:
I am not abusing my girlfriend.
:pigpoop:
I am not abusing my girlfriend. Stop accusing me of abusing my girlfriend
:PIGPOOPBALLS:
Will you stop accusing me of sexual abuse if I apologize for being an asshole to you?
i legit never accused you of sexual abuse, i accused you of gaslighting me.
an apology would be acceptable. wild that it took you 20 comments to come to the concept of apologizing and maybe listening
Alright. I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions early without any evidence and accusing your partner of being abusive towards you.
thank you
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Well, I have to touch her to hug her
Post hog
See but i think the paint IS blue and you think it isn’t. That is the point. You can’t convince me without a reason or an argument as to why this color we both see (spanking or strangulation) is blue or not blue. We literally believe strangulation and spanking to be conditionally non-abusive activities, given consent under normal circumstances.
also if your definition of abusive activity is simply causes physical harm to the one acted upon, then is consensual sparring between comrades in MMA abusive?
And i believe that we have different definitions for the word Abuse.
Yes that’s my point, it is okay for you to personally not like BDSM bc you view it as abusive. However it is not okay for you to universalize that and say it is true for everyone and then to gaslight those that disagree with you into thinking their potentially loving and good relationship might in fact be abusive.
also so under your definition is MMA abusive?
Yeah, sports where you beat eachother are toxic and abusive.
So how are comrades to train martial arts? Perhaps your definition of abuse is too idealistic to account for situations of physical harm that are 1) consensual 2) necessary for training and 3) generally regarded as non-abusive
Fair
Sometimes i catch myself being too confident in my definitions of things and then find myself in the same situation you are. It happens to the best of us, and there’s no shame as long as we progress forward towards more dialectically advanced definitions of things.
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