hey no problem buddy
hey don't sweat it pal
take it easy big guy
etc, etc
Things along these lines are usually said as a kind of show of idk a good word for it, almost like dominance? usually by older men or men who are trying to show in some kind of way that they're the ones who demand respect/top of the food chain. It's used passive aggressively and to like get under the other persons skin and say "I am the superior here" bc these terms are usually said to young boys.
It's such a weird thing that many men will do and it stems entirely from toxic masculinity and I've only seen it just pop up with a few tiktoks kinda making jokes about it
idk why, maybe I come off as aggressive or threatening to some men (you probably know the type) because there's just a certain type who always just has to work it in somewhere, it's weird
I think they’re talking about when it’s said sarcastically with emphasis on the last word
could they be saying "sweet as"?
https://theculturetrip.com/pacific/new-zealand/articles/15-slang-words-to-use-in-new-zealand/
Lol I use boss all the time in stores and whatnot talking to employees. "How's it going, boss." "Thanks boss" etc. I picked it up as a teenager.
boss is one of the one's I absolutely hate, but it's also one of the one's that's not always used this way. usually there's a different intonation for when someone is saying more like "it's awkward to use an employees name this is a good stand in" and the one that may as well be "listen kid do what I goddamn said"
son and boy, especially when said to black men, has a dark history
I was reading a really fascinating book that had a section of toxic masculinity. Did you know men are 7x more likely to get struck by lightning? There is no good explanation for this. People say it's because men work more dangerous and outdoor jobs but that makes no sense; workplace safety wouldn't have people working in the thunderstorm.
Turns out the answer is super simple, men are big tough guys who aren't allowed to be scared of a little rain...
The book had a lot more interesting stuff to say about how toxic masculinity is ingrained from the second we're born so yeah sad stuff
As someone who worked outside... I can tell you that the only time it was OK not to work was when a workplace safety person from corporate was around. In the words of the boss, “they make the guys nervous and that makes accidents more likely; it’s worth the lost productivity to not have to deal with someone doing something wrong in front of the safety guy”
I don’t doubt that toxic masculinity is involved, but I also don’t want to give the impression that workplace safety isn’t a joke
Point conceded. I haven't worked that type of job so I don't have first hand experience.
Nah, you’re half right, it’s not total upton Sinclair shit. Just wanted to bitch about my ridiculous boss a bit :)
Lol I feel that. I think you are right tho, ignoring safety regs is probably part of why men get struck more. Tbh when I first read it I was skeptical too because might not men being taller on average play a part it in too?
Ultimately I think toxic masculinity is still a main cause.
Another point the author made, she cites this but I didn't actually check the source, is that there is no medical reason men should live significantly shorter lives on average than women. She attributes this to toxic masculinity as well.
men are big tough guys who aren’t allowed to be scared of a little rain
to be fair I would totally beat rain in a fight
Yo I’m being serious right now, if I’m walking down the street and I see rain coming the other way....that shits on sight.
Turns out the answer is super simple, men are big tough guys who aren’t allowed to be scared of a little rain…
Is it weird that I actually like going out for walks when it's rainy, provided it isn't too cold out? I find rain relaxing.
I'm a big rain fan myself but I like to enjoy it from my covered deck.
Sadly yes, this does mean you are toxic 😔
trigger warning
https://www.versobooks.com/books/2922-rape I picked it up in the verso book sale over new years.
What I really liked about it is that it traces how the west has conceptualized rape through history putting everything into context.
There is a chapter specifically about men and in there a sub chapter that basically covers toxic masculinity. One thing is how we have internalized rape in the west makes us see men’s bodies and male physical contact as inherently sexual. I’d be happy to go back and re read it so I could explain it better if you’re interested! :::
How do I do the spoiler/trigger warning thing?
Because I should use that before I talk about the main topic of the book
Like this
This bit ^ was where the second 'spoiler' was, and this text is where the underscores were
i basically talk to everyone this way i have to actively censor myself online because strangers and pronouns
Maybe not by formal definition, but in my experience and usage yeah, they have the connotation of addressing men or boys.
hey there tiger
how's it going champ
dear ex housemate i never got the chance to punch you in the spleen but i would still really really like to
i used to have this ritual with a co-worker and it went on until someone (the loser) ran out of terms or reused one that had been said during a recent exchange. the kinda unspoke rule was that the tone always had to be calm/friendly, like you were gently correcting them and that the term had to be not something obviously demeaning, like "cupcake" or "sweet cheeks" or whatever.
thanks, bud
i ain't your bud, pal
i ain't your pal, friend
i ain't your friend, chief
i ain't your chief, guy
i ain't your guy, sport
i ain't your sport, boss
i ain't your boss, dude
i ain't your dude, bro
i ain't your bro, [...]
you get the idea. you play this game enough and you stock up a shitload of these terms and then, years later, an aggressive asshole who fires off a hostile "ease up, bud" and before you can even stop yourself, the real fun begins.
