It won't be like that. It will be worse.
- "You're seeing this [unskippable 360 degree] ad because you don't have Neuralink Premium." walks into truck
- Homeless people in your field of view are either erased or multiplied depending on how empathetic you are.
- All cars replaced by Teslas
- Negative thoughts about capitalism, Tesla, or Elon Musk are overwritten by desires for products by their "corporate partners"
- Mass brain hemorraging for non-white people because the product was never tested with them in mind.
- Your boss will monitor your thoughts in real-time and replace you if you ever think about the word "union"
- The Vocel Police can turn your dick soft at the flip of a switch
All cars replaced by Teslas
And you bet your ass they still catch fire randomly.
Oops, I meant like if you were looking at traffic, neuralink would just substitute volkswagen jettas with tesla model 3s
Recurring ads telling you to donate to "Homeless Helpers, Inc" a private for-profit charity that supports people in need worldwide begins to play over the face of every vagrant. Efforts to give to the individual direct promotes a "WARNING! THIS TRANSACTION TO AN UNAUTHORIZED INDIVIDUAL IS NOT ALLOWED! PLEASE SUPPORT A REPUTABLE CHARITY OF YOUR CHOOSING INSTEAD!" red-screen alert, followed by a scrolling list of licensed organizations.
Also, your User-Preferred Custom News And Infotainment Channel will begin to include more content involving people trying to give charity directly and getting attacked, while private for-profit charity employees come to their rescue.
Hopefully I dont get doxed for this but i worked in a research facility where neuralink was testing their brain computer interface (worked in a different lab). When i talked to the neuralink animal trainers they were struggling to get the animals to touch the screens reliably let alone actually make decisions with them. Long story short this tech is way far off.
can't want to get my head blown off by a "horriffic accidental explosion of the chip" when i spend the first hour after implantation thinking "Hey Elon, you're a fucking pedo and we all know it"
head blown off
Even this is too exciting for our boring dystopia. It'll just give you cancer or horrible migraines or some shit.
OK but if they start popping off like Scanners it's gonna be kinda metal.
Yeah but you can put your cell phone into a microwave oven and be free
I mean the very concept of a neuralink is capitalist and exploitative. A non dystopian future would never invent such a thing.
It's bad design on its face. A piece of hardware that will be obsolete in two years, but you're going to do brain surgery to install it? Jesus Christ. Talk about your Late Stage Capitalism.
When the weekly water riots happen, select companies with policing contracts temporarily activate "Guardian Mode", causing their office workers to walk out and reinforce the police line, vomiting sticky restraining fluid on the strikers. Afterwards, they return to the office with no memory and are told they will all be working unpaid overtime to make up for their unscheduled break.
It will be the last image but dressed up in a little of the first image to make it look plausibly attractive.
You only get the first one if you work for Blackwater and get enough promotions but you'll have to do some really bad shit obviously.
