WE BEAT THE NEWS MEGA
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For anyone following from my little meltdown over the weekend. My girlfriend and I have worked things out and communicated about everything. We really do love each other and I think once the t-blockers kick in we will both be a lot happier in the relationship.
hrt questions
Once I start on t-blockers how soon will it be until I start having some effects from it? Like spontaneous erections are very annoying to me. I'd love to see less aggression towards myself and my loved ones, etc.
Will it be pretty immediate? I know the secondary sex characteristics from the estrogen will take a long time. But I would really just like to not be under the influence of testosterone all the time. And the faster that happens I think the happier I will be and my partner will be.
Appointment is for Friday!
question
This is a personal question, so feel free to ignore it if it's not appropriate.
Based on your last post, it seemed like the problems you were having were related to communication, how you wanted to spend time together, how much time you wanted to spend together, financial issues, feeling like you were putting in more effort than her, etc.
I'm curious as to how T-blockers factor in to alleviating these things. I'm kind of locking in on the phrases "aggression towards myself and loved ones" and being "under the influence of testosterone" and I'm not sure using hormones to "correct" behavior is the right way to look at it.
Anyway, I'm sorry if I'm off base, and I can delete this, but I'm just trying to look out with the little info I have.
self harm and other dysphoric patterns
A lot of the stuff in that post was me vent dumping because I woke up in pain for the seventh day in a row, feeling overwhelmed, alone, in despair, and left out.
It's less about using a hormone to correct behavior, then me being miserable and how I take that out on people that I care about. Including myself through self harming behaviors. And I'm pretty sure at this point since I've come out of the closet that much of my chronic pain is the tension of living with gender incongruence for four decades. Trying to hide my queerness, even from myself.
Like a much better post would have been I've been in pain for 7 days and am feeling scared and overwhelmed, that this is hopeless. Because that's what I was actually feeling and I was alone and blamed it all on her.
And when we did talk through things, and talk about safety in the relationship, we did find emotional intimacy. And a lot of my physical tension and pain subsided with the anger. When I could just sit in my fears and insecurities and tell myself I am feeling scared.
I don't think testosterone is helping me in that regard.
spoiler
I'm glad you were able to work it out with her. It sounded pretty bad
I'm also glad that you're working through these feelings and growing.
You should be on T-blockers because it will help you achieve your gender identity, but I think you'll really bloom by following the line you laid out above.
Wishing you two a happy year as you start transition 🌹
Thanks!
spoiler
I don't know what to say but sh is terrible, I hope hrt/t blockers help you :meow-hug:
And it's not easy for either me or my gf.
And thanks for the support trans friends!
hrt replies
The random erections and libido died very quickly for me, like literally within the week. Try to avoid masturbating for the first few weeks just in case since that can maintain the function. Both the libido and randoms can come back if you aren't being consistent with your meds, and also if the dosage is too low to get rid of your T.
Regarding aggression, idk. I feel the same as always. If anything I feel more angry lately due to personal circumstances.
spoiler
For me, I think I could tell some different in spontaneous erections within a couple days of starting spiro (50mg/twice a day) IIRC. By a week or two, they pretty much had stopped. I think over time, they came back a tiny bit, but nowhere close to what it was before.
Can't say anything about aggressiveness since I don't think I was aggressive pre-HRT either.
Lovely. Personally the spontaneous erections increased for a week and then just stopped. Mood swings and no horny happened pretty early. I don’t know the last time I was angry at anyone so maybe that will help, but it could just be me.