Sending good vibes to all of my trans comrades cat-trans

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  • rayne [she/her]
    ·
    4 months ago

    Gf and I are back to being split up

    sex stuff

    I want a sexual relationship and she feels pressured if I even bring it up. When she feels pressured, she doesn't communicate and I get frustrated. Yesterday I asked if I should stop bringing it up, she said yes but today she says her motivation for that was to test me.

    So it's not just not having sex. It's no room to even talk about it. And she tests me We've been together four years and it feels like she's still playing games rather than communicating.

    So, I broke up with her this morning. Because I need space and don't want to be cuddling, hanging out, and getting turned on when that's not what we both want and there's no room for me to talk about it.

    Feeling heart broken. My body is going through changes and I hoped to explore that with her. Now I feel like I can't even talk about those changes with her. I think I'm going to hide in my room all day (we have separate bedrooms). Take my shot of E. Play SDV and listen to The Left Hand of Darkness on audio while waiting for this edible to hit me.

    Any advice on the gf situation or how to handle the break up with someone who I live with would be helpful. I'm pretty poor and don't have family out here, so need to make the room mate situation work if it can.

    Mostly feeling sad as I type this.

    • QueerCommie [she/her, fae/faer]
      ·
      4 months ago

      That sucks. As a neurodivergent I can’t not be explicit and want the same. Totally respect breaking up for that. Good luck comrade.

    • TerminalEncounter [she/her]
      ·
      4 months ago

      Break ups suck, theres a lot of sympathy for the person being dumped of course but its not like its easy when you had to be the dumper and it was an incompatability thing. It's even worse if you have to keep living in the same house/apartment. See if there's any lgbt+ groups you can find a different room mate with or somewhere safe to move out to.

    • Darth_Reagan [they/them, comrade/them]
      ·
      4 months ago
      spoiler

      I'm having similar issues, my partner has trauma and low body image so sex is difficult. It can be very frustrating that I'm attracted and horny for them like all the time, and if we ever cuddle I generally get aroused but it more often than not leads to rejection. They feel guilty for not being able to have sex casually, and I'm frustrated by my attraction often leading to nowhere. Its tough.

      • rayne [she/her]
        ·
        4 months ago
        trauma

        It's trauma here too. And poor communication around it more specifically.

        She'll flirt and make out with me and then feel guilty when I get turned on, frustrated, and disappointed.

        I'll try to talk about it later, and she won't acknowledge anything I say. So, yesterday I asked her point blank if I should stop bringing it up. She said yes.

        Then, after I said we should break up if we can't communicate about this, she tells me it was a test :(

        I first caught her playing games like this when we first dropped acid together. Flirt, get me excited, and then test if I would respect her boundaries. I told her I felt like she was testing me and she apologized, said it was a habit.

        She doesn't seem to care how confusing this. And I'm a mixture of mad, sad, and scared.

        Feeling really alone and miss my friends and family, who all live out of state. And moving back home isn't really an option.